I have reams of amusing/weird/slightly dirty things my professors have said in class. I published them in the campus paper for lack of better ideas for columns.
Personal favourites:
"It's hard to get a feel for cleavage" - in reference to cleavage planes in crystals, with accompanying hand gestures.
"You can also get cleavage with alcohol" - regarding ability of alcohols to cleave carbon-carbon bonds. The prof saw me snickering from across the room.
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The first run through of any experimental procedure is to identify any potential errors by making them.
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