[Tate]

Originally Posted by mudshark

Ah, but everyone would be expecting that, wouldn't they?

Incidently, this reminds me of something I wrote last week. I was planning on posting it in the 'Holy Question' thread to lighten up the conversation, but, for various reasons, I chose not to. I suppose here is as good a place to post it as any:

This Just In:

Robert ‘Pinocchio’ Beltran, in a surprising move, has enlisted the aid of the Spanish Inquisition in his crusade against FiveMinute.Net webmaster Colin ‘Zeke’ Hayman. “These people have great experience in dealing with people like Zeke,” Mr. Beltran said. “Once they arrive, I’m sure they will quickly convince Zeke to renounce his heresies.”

Beltran denied claims that this move was revenge for the many times Zeke had made fun of him on his website. “This isn’t about me,” he said. “It’s about truth, it’s about justice, it’s about…alright, it is about me. But it’s also about Zeke. He’s a heretic, a HERETIC, I say. Just look at some of the statements he’s made: ‘The earth is pie-shaped,’ ‘The moon is made of green cheese,’ ‘The world is hollow and I have touched the sky.’ It’s HERESY!” This reporter could not recall Zeke making any such statements, but didn’t say anything because he didn’t want to sound stupid.

“I didn’t expect this,” said a dumbfounded Zeke upon hearing the news.

Attorney Jeice O. Garricker plans to sue the Inquisition for abridging Zeke’s religious freedom. “If Zeke thinks the world is a hollow pie filled with green cheese, then LET him believe that,” Mr. Garricker said. “It’s his right.” The first element of Garricker’s defense involves Zeke moving to the United States so that the First Amendment applies to him. “I’m pretty sure Canadian law has something that protects religious liberties, but I don’t know what it is. And, frankly, I don’t care.” This reporter couldn’t agree more, but you didn’t read that here.

Be sure to keep reading This Just In for more news on this developing story.

By the way, great fivers, guys. Keep up the good work; I look forward to the remaining fivers in the event.