January 31st, 1994, "Sub Rosa"
I link to SF Debris reviews often enough, so for a change
how about Obscurus Lupa?
Fiver by Kristina
The Episode
PICARD: Caldos Colony is a most impressive accomplishment. I actually feel as if I'm in the Scottish Highlands.
MATURIN: That was the intent. The cornerstone of every building in town was brought from Edinburgh, Glasgow, Aberdeen. The founders wanted everyone to feel they had a piece of the real thing here. They didn't want to just imitate Scotland, they wanted to recreate it.
I never noticed the cornerstone thing. I have to respect it. Due to my heritage I take cornerstones and capstones seriously.
TROI: Your grandmother had remarkable green eyes.
CRUSHER: Every woman in the Howard family has had green eyes, except for my mother and me.
The implication is that the green eyes are a result of Ronin's influence and that Beverly's mother (Isabel, FYI) and Beverly herself don't have them because they never had the chance to connect with Ronin. I'm still a little confused as to why a plasma-based ghost would affect genetics, and the idea that he leaves a piece of himself in his partner at all times is a little icky.
CRUSHER: It's a family heirloom. It's been in the Howard clan for generations. It's supposed to symbolise the enduring Howard spirit. Wherever they may go, the shining light to guide them through their fortune. Nana always kept it lit.
Okay, they'll later tell us that the candle is plasma based. So where does the wax come from and why doesn't it run out? Is Ronin's home the lamp itself or just the wax?
QUINT: I wouldna be so high and mighty with me, Beverly Howard Crusher. I've spent more time here in the past five years than ye have in the past twenty.
CRUSHER: How do you know who I am?
QUINT: I'm Ned Quint. I took care of your grandmother's house and her affairs.
CRUSHER: Nana never mentioned you.
Why wouldn't Nana keep Beverly in the loop about this?
DATA: I am reading unusually high humidity across the entire southern desert region and there is increasing cloud activity above the northern coastal area. Possibly the formation of a storm system.
MATURIN: A storm? It's the middle of summer. We don't have rain at this time of year.
Even if I'll buy a network of drones controlling the weather, I can't buy that you can just turn off rain for months at a time without damaging the environment. The plants require X amount of rain at certain times of the year to grow. At best I'd only want to push away rain during the day, letting it come at night.
CRUSHER: Yes. According to these journals, his name is Ronin and he's thirty four years old. They met just after my great-grandmother's death.
And she didn't tell Beverly about Ronin...because? Furthermore, when did Beverly's great-grandmother die? The math just doesn't seem to add up. And how can Ronin continue to create new, younger alter egos for every Howard host? I can't help but feel that in the Federation they keep track of you from birth regardless of your residence or philosophy. Maybe I'll buy that Q or Kevin Uxbridge can poof himself up a birth certificate on demand, but Ronin isn't that powerful.
CRUSHER: Yes. And there was a voice, a man. He whispered my name. It was as if I knew him, or more like he knew me. He knew exactly how I liked to be touched.
So he's telepathic on top of everything else. That just makes this creepier.
CRUSHER: I did fall asleep reading a particularly erotic chapter in my grandmother's journal. She wrote very detailed descriptions of her experiences with Ronin.
And this is just creepy. Who would consider this appropriate?
TROI: So, shall we start going over the personnel reports?
Doesn't she do that with Riker? Wouldn't there be some specific medical report that the ship's doctor and counsellor would want to collaborate on?
CRUSHER: Ned, the weather systems control is malfunctioning. The Enterprise is trying to repair it.
QUINT: Oh, sure. But who do you think is causing the malfunction?
It's an interesting question: how long can Ronin keep breaking things to keep the Enterprise here until someone figures out there's another entity affecting things?
CRUSHER: I think your imagination is
QUINT: Think what you want. See what you want. Just do as I say. Dinna light that candle or dinna go to that hoose, or before you know it, they'll be burying another Howard in this cemetery.
You'd think he could just tell her to run thorough scans on the candle and her house while she's in it. Being cryptic for the sake of being cryptic never helps anyone.
LAFORGE: Captain, I suggest we set up a power transfer between the Enterprise and the weather substations. Try to give them enough power to stabilise the storm.
They still think that this is an ordinary storm? It seems that Q's confidence in them figuring out technobabble is a bit misplaced.
RONIN [OC]: Ghosts? Nor did I in the beginning. I was born in sixteen forty seven, in Glasgow on Earth.
CRUSHER: You're telling me that you're an eight hundred year old ghost?
RONIN [OC]: I found a home with Jessel Howard. She was a pretty lass with a mane of red hair, and eyes like diamonds.
Like SF Debris says, the idea that every single generation for eight hundred years would keep her maiden name upon marriage AND convince her daughter to use it as well is patently ridiculous.
TROI: Hi, Bev. I just wanted to see if you were going to mok'bara class this morning.
CRUSHER: No, I think I'll skip it today. I'm exhausted.
So she was either raped and Stockholm Syndromed into changing her emotions, or Ronin brainwashed and raped her. Isn't that a lovely image? How did this get past the draft stage, were they THAT desperate for scripts?
CRUSHER: Exactly. I can see why Nana fell in love with him. This sounds very strange, doesn't it?
Yes. It does. Even if everything WAS on the up and up this would be weird. Unless you're on Risa I don't think people sleep together on the first date, even in the 24th century.
DATA: There appears to be a condensed suspension of water vapour, approximately one degree Celsius.
PICARD: Fog.
It's too far into the series for Data to be this pedantic.
DATA: I am unable to terminate the connection, sir. A feedback loop has formed in the transfer beam. I will have to go to the substation and attempt to correct the problem from there.
You don't have any grunts that can do that for you? Surely if there's a continual beam being generated I'd want an engineer at the emitter 24/7.
(an alarm sounds and they spot Ned underneath a console)
Did nobody question why Ned wants to come on board? Maybe assign an escort to him?
CRUSHER: Ensign, ask Doctor Selar run a biospectral analysis.
Hasn't enough time passed for Plakson to play Selar again? In fact, does Selar have the record for most mentions compared to appearances?
PICARD: Beverly, you can't just resign.
CRUSHER: I can, and I have. I've decided to stay on Caldos and become a healer like my grandmother. It's a proud Howard tradition and I've decided to uphold it. Energise. I've resigned my commission, so unless you plan on kidnapping me?
Maybe I'll believe that Starfleet is at-will enough to allow people to leave at any time. But there's still paperwork that needs to be done, and it's clear that it hasn't been done.
PICARD: Why don't you answer my questions? What ship? I'd like to look at the passenger list. Where have you been living here? What's your position? Who are your neighbours?
Which raises another question, did Ronin manage to convince Felisa to never talk about him? How long can he stay solid? If it's more than a day why can't he be a part of the community so people know him?
This is why gothic novels and cheesy romances aren't suitable things to base a Star Trek episode on.
The Fiver
Troi: Who's Zorro?
Crusher: A guy in a black cloak, but that's not important right now.
Troi: Right, Victoria Escalante.
More missing first lines. Ugh.
Crusher: You can't believe the dream I had last night, Deanna. I was caressed, but I saw no one.
Troi: I'm jealous. Was he wearing a cloaking device?
Seems a bit clunky for a joke.
Crusher: Oh, flowers! Who's there?
Ronin: I was born in 17th century Scotland, and have lived a masked life since....
Crusher: Zorro!
Ronin: Please don't call me Zorro.
Crusher: But Wesley watches you all the time.
The Zorro joke seems a bit shoehorned. Surely a Highlander joke would make more sense here.
Ronin: Here I am. Satisfied?
Picard: Tell me who you are first. Surely, you must have an origin of sorts.
Ronin: I do, but I'm not telling. And don't call me Shirley.
Is this joke supposed to tie into another Leslie Nielson role or something?
Crusher: OK, but I just phasered it. Now I'll phaser you too!
Ronin: AaaaaAAAGH! Now I'll have to seduce the crinkly-nosed redhead on DS -- GAK!
I never noticed that Ronin and Shakaar were played by the same actor!
Crusher: (glare) I wonder what he meant by "DS GAK"?
Troi: Some other Nana can sort that Visitor out.
That one was painful.
Memory Alpha
* Braga didn't know about the Japanese word "ronin" before naming the character.
* Felisa was said to be over a hundred, yet her tombstone indicates 79. Oops.
Nitpicker's Guide
* Where is Wesley for his great-grandmother's funeral?
* Phil points out that the governor may not look human, but with the interspecies marriages we've seen it's possible that he would have ONE Scottish ancestor. I prefer to keep it simple and say that he just likes the lifestyle. Remember how the Japanese are obsessed with 19th century British culture?
* He also brings up the age incongruity with Ronin.