[Nate the Great]

November 14th, 1994, "Necessary Evil"

No fiver

The Episode

PALLRA: My husband kept a strongbox in our shop on the station, buried in the wall. I want you to bring it to me.

While this is an interesting plot point, it just doesn't make sense. This episode really should've been in early season one before the Starfleet crew does a complete scan of the entire station. By now the box would've been found.

PALLRA: And I can pay you five bars of latinum.

And here we are, writers not caring about currency. Courtesy of Memory Alpha, other things stated to be worth five bars include:
* Seven tessipates of land on Bajor. We have to assume that a tessipate is at least an acre.
* Nog's life savings.
* Quark's wager on the Sisko vs. Q fight.
* The services of five Nausicaans plus a fast ship.
* A day's profits at Quarks.

So to be generous we have to assume that five bars is in the neighborhood of a few thousand dollars at the very least and a few dozen thousand at the very most. So Quark should be asking where she intends to get five bars if she can't afford to keep her lights on.

Commence Station Security log. Stardate 47282.5. At the request of Commander Sisko, I will hereafter be recording a daily log of law enforcement affairs. The reason for this exercise is beyond my comprehension, except perhaps that humans have a compulsion to keep records and lists and files. So many, in fact, that they have to invent new ways to store them microscopically, otherwise their records would overrun all known civilisation.

Always a fun entry. We also know about storing information microscopically from back in "The Drumhead." I'd bring up the bioneural gelpacks, but think that those things are more like RAM than ROM.

QUARK: Now, when we get to the entrance, you stay flat against the wall. It's a pulsatel lockseal. I can get it to release in twenty five seconds.
ROM: Twenty five seconds? But somebody will see us. Let me do it.
QUARK: You? We'd be at it all night.
ROM: All night? No, only about ten seconds.
QUARK: How would you get a pulsatel lockseal to release in ten seconds?
ROM: You have one on the storeroom door.
QUARK: So?
ROM: Sometimes, when you forget to leave me the desealer, I have to get the storeroom open.
QUARK: You've unsealed the storeroom without my knowledge?
ROM: Only to serve a customer's needs.
QUARK: In ten seconds?
ROM: You forget fairly often.

A great exchange, but the problem is that it takes longer that it would've taken for Quark to do it his way. And this bit is supposed to show that Rom is smarter than he looks, but it just introduces a contradiction. So Rom creates new ways to open safes, but neglects to tell Quark until directly asked. There's another screed to be had here.

QUARK: You got into my latinum floor vault with that?
(Fizz, fizz, fizz, fizz, clunk)
ROM: I didn't want to tell you because then you'd know I'd burned off your floor plates, but I replaced them out of my own salary, brother.

And once again Rom is an idiot. If he was actually smart he would've told Quark that he's not paying for the new floor plates because if Quark had trusted him with a key that this wouldn't be necessary. Why is Quark leaving Rom in charge if he's not going to give him complete access to the latinum?

KIRA: Security's stopping everyone at the airlocks but it took them five minutes to get in position. The assailant may already be on a ship.

This is just stupid. On a station as big as DS9 both Ops and the security office should be able to seal all of the airlocks remotely. This should be a dedicated panel. It takes ages to get anywhere on the station, it's just that big (and I definitely get the impression that Cardassian turbolifts are much slower than Starfleet ones).

DUKAT: Yes. You did a Cardassian neck trick that brought the house down.

Quark will later imitate the Cardassian neck trick. It's implied that it's just Odo flaring out his neck to resemble Cardassian neck flaps. I'm not seeing the humor.