[Nate the Great]

June 4th, 1990, "Transfigurations"

No fiver

The Episode

LAFORGE: Don't stare.
WORF: Why not?
LAFORGE: Because she'll see.
WORF: Good. You must let her see the fire in your eyes.

I get Worf's metaphor, and this would work great if he was giving advice to Wesley, but this is Geordi we're talking about. Even without the VISOR his eyes are blanks!

WORF: Words come later. It is the scent that first speaks of love.

Y'know, if Klingons actually emitted pheromones it would explain SO much...

CRUSHER: He's not stable enough for transport. There's damage to his brain stem, autonomic functions are failing.

This "not stable enough for transport" thing occurs elsewhere, and I'm always confused. The transporter scans everything at once within a fraction of a second, right? It's not like the major organs are beamed out first leaving the body to manage with backup systems for a fraction of a second, are they?

For that matter, this bit of technobabble doesn't need to happen to get the energy to Geordi. It opens plotholes unnecessarily, it takes up valuable runtime, etc.

WORF: Sensors show trace elements in the debris that would indicate phaser fire was recently exchanged.

Trace elements? Phaser fire induces elemental change in metals? Just say "residual energy signatures"!

DATA: It will take time, sir. Downloading this into our system will require fabrication of a matrix translator to emulate the alien's computer system.

A matrix translator? I hate technobabble that serves no function. "It will take time to modify our equipment to interface with this device" is more than enough!

CRUSHER: What happened to you?
O'BRIEN: I was kayaking in the holodeck again.
CRUSHER: You dislocated your shoulder.

So this perennial DS9 gag goes as far back as TNG Season 3, wow. He hasn't even been given the name "Miles" yet!

LAFORGE: Data, I was thinking about the storage capsule last night and I was wondering, what if we've been going about this thing the wrong way? We've been trying to analyse its mechanical properties. What if it is a biochemical storage medium?
DATA: Are you suggesting that it employs memory RNA like an organic cell?
LAFORGE: Well, it does contain quantities of nucleic acids.
DATA: Perhaps the information sequences are encoded in the molecular patterns themselves.

Either it's a precursor to bioneural circuitry or it's an atomic computer, it can't be both.

JOHN: This ship is astounding. It seems to stretch on without end.

I read somewhere that it takes a whole eight-hour shift to walk every corridor on the 1701. The 1701 had length of 947 feet. E-D has a length of 2100 feet. Scaling volume by length only means a rough estimate of total walk time over ten times longer. That's close enough to "endless" for me!

LAFORGE: Okay, let's realign the magnetic inducer on the starboard nacelle.

Of all the meaningless technobabble I've ever seen that you can't even TRY to connect to established Treknology, this one is up there. If it was even a phase inducer I could postulate!

JOHN: That is what you and the other leaders have maintained for generations, but it is not true. Captain, my species is on the verge of a wondrous evolutionary change. A transmutation beyond our physical being. I am the first of my kind to approach this metamorphosis. They tried to convince us it was a sickness we would never survive, that the pain and energy pulses would kill us. They claimed we were dangerous so they destroyed anyone who exhibited the signs of the transfiguration.

I hate it when they imply that individuals can evolve.

Afterward

This is an episode that I don't revisit. On the whole I hate the "Beverly falls in love" episodes. I also hate romance plots involving amnesiatics and reverse Stockholm Syndrome plots.

This plot isn't coherent enough to run this long. Furthermore, it feels like there should be a counterpoint subplot. However it sounds, I think that this thing would've fit better as an episode of TAS than TNG!

Having Worf as a romance teacher is a premise that might work if it was better developed, but not with Geordi. I think they really overdid the "Geordi is a loser with women" thing. Maybe he did need Sonya Gomez around to keep him on his toes. Not as a romantic partner, but as a friend who wants him to be happy.

Memory Alpha

* Christy Henshaw's opinion of Geordi has certainly gone up since "Booby Trap." Of course, it has been nine months, so who knows what happened offscreen during the interim.

Nitpicker's Guide

* Whenever humans get superpowers their crewmates tend to distrust them, but they're sympathetic to John. There's a whole essay to be had on this topic.
* Once again a number smaller than the away team is given to O'Brien to be beamed up, and Miles knows exactly who to beam. I'd chalk this up to O'Brien having a diagram of the active commbadges/life signs at the location and knows to beam the X people closest to the commbadge that is transmitting.
* The teaser makes it seem like Geordi has never asked Christie out before, but he totally screwed up a date with her in "Booby Trap"!
* The medical readout is inconsistent from other episodes. I consider this one a little extreme. The readouts are undoubtedly reconfigurable for different species and conditions. Maybe Beverly tinkers with the settings trying to get a better experience.
* There are inconsistencies about what the name of Shuttle 5 is between episodes. I'd think something this simple could be made consistent, but I guess not.