[Nate the Great]

My initial draft was too long, but this episode ain't worth two parts. I had to cut out a lot of Treknology nits. Is this really the best way to do the big introduction to the holodeck? A room that could kill our heroes if the slightest odd energy wave hits the ship?

January 11th, 1988, "The Big Goodbye"

No fiver
Transcript
Memory Alpha

The Episode

Riker: The Jarada demand a precise greeting, in this case from Captain Picard. Their language is most unusual. The slightest mispronunciation is regarded as an insult.

I hate it when alien races are made to be this unreasonable. We should lock them in a room with the Sheliak and throw away the key...

Captain's personal log. I'm entering the ship's holodeck, where images of reality can be created by our computer. Highly useful in crew training, highly enjoyable when used for games and recreation.

Gotta love that Season One conceit that "fun" is the secondary objective of the holodeck. No, really, we put this here for practical reasons! You're not fooling anyone, production staff!

Captain's personal log. I'm delighted with how the Holodeck has created the fictional world of Dixon Hill, the twentieth century detective who has been a hero of mine since childhood. The illusion is flawless. The characters I meet are generated by the computer, of course, yet they feel real, they seem real in every way.

Were the creators that terrified that unless they reiterate the illusion thing after every commercial break that the stupid viewers would wonder if they had the wrong show or think that Picard has gone back in time?

PICARD: And when I looked down into the street, I actually saw automobiles!

Stop being a fanboy, captain. We know that this level of holographic perfection has only recently become possible, but using the captain as the audience surrogate character was a mistake. Given her background Tasha would've been a better choice (in a different program than Dixon Hill, of course).

RIKER: The Jaradan are strategically important to the Federation.

Why? They sit between us and the Romulans? Over the last few years they've been talking with the Cardassians (I know that they don't exist yet), and it's important to keep them on our side? We trade with them for Resource X? Another sentence would be useful, you know...

Captain's log, supplemental. The Jaradan rendezvous still is eleven hours away. I am about to reenter the world of Dixon Hill, this time properly dressed.

Eleven hours? Get a good night's sleep, review the greeting again, get that taken care of, then relax, Captain!

WHALEN: He actually thinks you're Dixon Hill.

Ugh. There's exposition and there's treating the audience like idiots, and the line was crossed ten minutes ago! Who was it that said that intelligent audiences appreciate fiction that doesn't talk down to them?

DATA: The record will stand until the year 2026, when a shortstop for the London Kings...

This bit of trivia was extrapolated into Buck Bokai's biography. I'm glad someone remembered this episode so this could be done

VENDOR: Hey Dix, what gives with this guy? He's not from around here, is he.

The lack of perceptual filter thing is really getting old. Couldn't half of these things be jettisoned to make room for another plot elsewhere on the ship? Furthermore, it happens before the Jaradan probe, so this isn't a case of a malfunction!

(The ship shakes as a beam passes through it, including the holodeck, whose controls flicker and door briefly opens and closes a few times)

Don't ask me what a sensor scan has to do with the holodeck, or what the holodeck has to do with the doors...

SERGEANT: You're a pretty hep lookin' broad.
CRUSHER: Is that good?
SERGEANT: It ain't bad.

He he. "Hep lookin' broad?" I'm reminded of Troi in "The Royale"...

TROI: I don't believe this dialogue. Did humans really talk like that?
PICARD: Not in real life. Remember, everything that's going on down there is taken from what Colonel Richey calls a second-rate novel.

I suddenly wonder if Colonel Richey would've liked being trapped in a Dixon Hill novel better...

And of course "is that good" brings to mind the scene where Kirk sells his glasses...

LAFORGE: Not a thing. We have to go through this millimetre by millimetre.

Yeah, it's not like you could just unplug it. Unlike Voyager the holodeck's power supply is integrated with the ship. And Geordi, isn't this a job for the chief engineer (whoever that is this week...)?

PICARD: Soon, my friend. For the moment, I have other duties.
MCNARY: Blonde or brunette?
PICARD: She's a lady, all right, and her name is Enterprise.
MCNARY: Sounds like a working girl to me.

No, she's a beautiful lady and we love her! (Trek quote game!)

WESLEY: I don't know if I should. If this isn't done correctly, the programme could abort and everyone inside could vanish.

HOW? Even if the safeties are off, how does "holograms shutting off" kill everyone inside?

Memory Alpha

* It was suggested to depict the world of Dixon Hill in black and white, like Captain Proton would be later. I wish they had, it seems like a missed opportunity.
* The only episode where Tasha has the bridge.
* The only episode where the holodeck has two exits. While I could understand the flagship having a super-sized holodeck for when many many people will be participating (promoting Worf, etc.), I don't see why Picard would need one for this simulation that only expects four users.
* William Ware Theiss (glad he was on board for the early days of TNG) got a award for the Dixon Hill costumes.

Nitpickers Guide

* Data knows about cars, baseball players, and the events of every Dixon Hill novel, but a simple electric lamp confuses him. Ugh...
* No one even tries to beam our people out of the holodeck. A horrifying implication: turning the safeties off turns the transporter blocking shield on!
* The Jaradan probe shakes the bridge, but not the holodeck. How strange...
* Between scenes the lipstick on Picard's face changes shape, location, and color. Almost as though the scenes were filmed on two different days with two different kisses! You'd think they could've filmed all of the kiss scenes on the same day to avoid a problem this simple...