[Nate the Great]

March 14th, 1993, "Move Along Home"

No Fiver

SISKO: You and I have got to have a talk, young man, about women.
JAKE: That's okay.
SISKO: I mean it. There are some things you have got to know.
JAKE: I already know them, Dad.
SISKO: Oh yeah? And who told you?
JAKE: Nog.
SISKO: Nog. So all you know about women you've heard from the Ferengi boy.
JAKE: We were just talking.
SISKO: Swell.

Oh boy, how warped must Nog's ideas of women be at this point?

(Only the Doctor is not in Starfleet dress uniform. Bajorans don't have one.)

Kira is the only one to wear the Bajoran dress uniform, but it won't appear until "Rejoined."

BASHIR: I'm positive I packed my dress uniform. I can't understand it.

Putting aside the fact that dress uniforms should be replicatable, Garak should be able to make one.

QUARK: Oh, what a handsome container. There's an old Ferengi expression. Good things come in small packages.

I can't find an actual Rule that comes close to this. The expression exists around the world, usually of the variant that the best version of something comes in the smallest package.

FALOW: Klon peags. Highly sought in our culture. They have many different uses.
QUARK: I'm sorry, but I have enough sticks right now.

Quark is being an idiot here. Ferengi must know that what's worthless in one culture can have value in another. In fact, it's good business to be informed about the value of everything. At the very least he should ask what these "sticks" are. Maybe they're a valuable spice (did you know that genuine cinnamon is twice as expensive as the related cassia that can do the same job in most cases?). Maybe they have narcotic or medicinal properties.

(Another aide brings Quark a bottle and glass)
QUARK: What's this?
FALOW: Alpha-currant nectar. It's priceless.
(She pours Quark a drink, but his face says he wants to spit it out again)
QUARK: One man's priceless is another man's worthless.

Ugh. He sells root beer all the time and thinks it tastes awful. Ferengi would know that different races have different taste buds. Ugh.

FALOW: Then, we really have nothing to wager, except this.
(And pours out a pouch of gem stones. Quark summons a waiter.)

This is the most stupid of all. By the 23rd century it's possible to replicate any gemstone we like. While I have no doubt they'll still have value, the potential is less than the other stuff.

SISKO: Nog is older than you, Jake. He stays up later. He probably does things, things with girls for instance, you're not ready for yet.

As a matter of fact, Nog is two years older than Jake. He was born the same year as Jack Crusher's death, Riker and Geordi entering Starfleet Academy, Ziyal was born, and Kira's mother died.

SISKO: Great. Just great. I've done nothing for the past six hours but eat Ferengi lokar beans and watch people play childish games.

Lokar beans will remain the complimentary bar food of choice until Pel convinces him to replace them with Gramalian sand peas.

KIRA: Behavioural test? Now wait a minute.
DAX: There doesn't seem to be any immediate threat, Major.
KIRA: Oh, no. I'm sure all you Starfleet explorers find this fascinating, but I'm a Bajoran administrator. This is not what I signed up for.

At this point Kira calls herself an administrator? She should still call herself a soldier!

ODO: Computer, confirm that Commander Sisko is not on the station.
COMPUTER: Confirmed.
ODO: What time did he log out?
COMPUTER: That information is not on file.

Ugh. "Commander Sisko's commbadge stopped responding at X:00 hours."

PRIMMIN: Constable Odo. Good morning to you.
ODO: Where's Major Kira?
PRIMMIN: Didn't report for duty on time this morning. None of the senior officers did.
ODO: And you don't find that odd?
PRIMMIN: I heard that Wadi party went on all night.

Primmin's not worried? And this is the guy who was a stick in the mud about Starfleet procedure last week?

QUARK: But you haven't even told me the rules yet.
FALOW: You're required to learn as you play.

That's stupid. Quark should've called off the game at this point.

ODO: Wouldn't your scans pick up human life signs on their ship?
PRIMMIN: Usually, but we've never encountered Wadi technology before.

Why is Primmin acting as Science Officer? I would've preferred Primmin not being in the episode at all if it meant giving his lines to a Bajoran officer. Perhaps someone who contrasts with Kira and could be a recurring character.

FALOW: No, Quark. I'm afraid all your players were lost.
KIRA: What? You mean we were never in any real danger?
FALOW: It's only a game.

I always hated this reveal. Falow should show some guilt, or at least callousness.

Memory Alpha

* In the script Bashir was going to have Garak make a uniform for him, but Dax thought that it wouldn't be appropriate.
* Dax was going to be in "Birthright" (a much more logical cameo), but since Bashir "died" first in this episode he got to do it instead.

Nitpicker's Guide

* Why is Sisko so nervous about First Contact with the Wadi when the Vulcans already did that in the Gamma Quadrant?
* The Vulcans recommended Quark's to the Wadi?
* Phil seems to think that if a commbadge can't establish a commline with the desired party, it should make a link with any commbadge found in range. I'm dubious at this. Maybe there would be a separate vocal command for this, but it wouldn't be the default.
* Why is Sisko wearing a TNG dress uniform instead of a DS9 one?