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Old 09-08-2021, 06:53 PM
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June 3rd, 1991, "In Theory"

Fiver by Wowbagger

Far too many episodes of TNG rely on the one-episode romance subplot, have any of you noticed that?

The Episode

Captain's log, stardate 44932.3 The Enterprise is preparing to enter the Mar Oscura, an unexplored dark matter nebula. Commander Data is modifying several new photon torpedoes for an experiment designed to elicit more information about this unusual phenomenon.

Why are they modifying photon torpedoes instead of probes? Are antimatter explosions part of this experiment?

JENNA: I bumped into Jeff again in the turbolift this morning. He asked me to dinner.
DATA: What was your response?
JENNA: I told him I'd think about it.
DATA: As you requested, I will now remind you of the reasons you decided to end your relationship with Jeff.
JENNA: I guess I asked for this. Go ahead.
DATA: You objected to the fact that he seemed unwilling to set aside sufficient time for you. You said he was unresponsive, that he never did the little things. You disliked the sound he made when he ate his soup.
JENNA: Okay, okay. I remember.
DATA: This is the third time I have refreshed your memory. Do you wish to rescind our agreement?
JENNA: No. No, it's for my own good. It's just so easy to forget.

On the one hand, Data is an ideal candidate to perform this kind of service. On the other hand, it does seem a little dehumanizing to ask Data to act as a talking parrot.

DATA: Throughout history, many lovers have suffered the same difficulty. Anne Boleyn was quite distressed that Henry the Eighth preferred the company of his huntsmen over that of his wife.

I've read a bit about the wives of Henry VIII over the years, and I don't know where this huntsman came from. This isn't the place to talk about the complicated history of Henry VIII, I just think that if they wanted an historical example of romantic complications they could cite someone a bit more recent and well-known. JFK comes to mind immediately.

(a quintet is playing. Data on oboe, Jenna on flute, Keiko on clarinet, an alien on bassoon, and a man in casual clothes on French horn)
O'BRIEN: That was wonderful.
KEIKO: Thank you.
(Miles and Keiko embrace)

Did Keiko ever play again? You'd think DS9 is big enough to have an unofficial band, and it would certainly give her something to do. Furthermore, it would be another facet for Bashir or Sisko (I could certainly imagine Sisko playing a saxophone or something).

Furthermore, why is the alien playing a bassoon? Wouldn't his race have an equivalent instrument to insert here? It would be a nice little bit of worldbuilding.

KEIKO: Every night, Miles leaves his socks on the floor. When we got married, I made the mistake of picking them up a few times. Then I realised, if I kept it up I'd be doing it the rest of my life. So I stopped, figuring he'd get the point and do it himself. One night goes by, two, a week, ten days. By now there's a pile of socks half a metre high.
O'BRIEN: Come on, it wasn't half a metre.
KEIKO: After two weeks I couldn't stand it any more. I bundled them up and put them in the cleaning processor. And I'm still doing it.

While it's nice to see the lighter sides of life in the Federation, leaving socks on the floor seems rather primitive when you can shove them into the wall. As for a "cleaning processor", what is it and is it more energy-efficient than just feeding stuff into a replicator to be broken down and reused?

JENNA: Keiko, you sound just like Data. He came over to my quarters the other day to give me a music lesson, and he said the funniest thing. How did you put it, about the mess?
DATA: I believe I observed that you seem to have an aversion to orderliness. But it was not intended as a humourous remark.

Are we supposed to like Jenna? Because I don't. Plus I thought Data had more tact than to make observations like that.

DATA: I am nearly finished compiling readings from our most recent illuminatory burst. Dark matter density is nearly one order of magnitude higher than in similar nebulae. Life forms here may have developed in ways never before observed.
RIKER: Interesting hypothesis. Are there any M-class planets we could check out?

Let's assume that not all matter in here is dark matter. Even so, any life-forms around here should be sufficiently different to not exist under M-class conditions. I don't like how the writers seem to think that lifeforms can only exist under M-class conditions. There are other habitable classes, you know!

JENNA: Sometimes in the summer we'd go on cookouts. Just my little brother and me, and mother. She was hopeless without a replicator. We didn't care.
DATA: Children often do not develop discerning palettes until well beyond adolescence.

Let's accept that replicators are too big to take outside. I'd think that a portable stasis unit should be possible to make to keep food at the required temperature.

Sorry, I just hate it when Star Trek people keep going into unfamiliar environments for recreation when they don't have to. If you can't rough it don't plan activities where you have to!

As for children and discerning palettes, that's a whole other screed that could easily get me into trouble. I don't have children and probably never will, but I have observed nieces and nephews.

JENNA: That what I love about you, Data. You make me laugh. I don't know why I keep falling for the wrong man. Why can't I fall for somebody like you. You're perfect.
DATA: That is not true. I have no human feelings.

Exactly. Even if you compensate for his lack of emotions, Data still couldn't be described as perfect. Another screed.

GUINAN: Hello, Data. Would you like to try something new? It's a concoction I heard about on Prakal Two. I think it's wonderful but I need a second opinion.

Why is Guinan asking Data's opinion on this? I thought she was supposed to be the expert in dealing with everyone on their own terms (which means understanding everybody's own terms).

GUINAN: Don't look at me. No, no, Data, I simply mean that I can't give you any advice here. It's not good to advise people about their first love affairs. That's kind of something they have to figure out for themselves.

So what was she doing with Wesley and Salia?

LAFORGE: Data. Missing someone? I found Spot wandering through the corridor two sections away.
DATA: Thank you.
LAFORGE: Forget to secure the door when you left?
DATA: The door sensor is programmed to recognise only humanoid forms for entry and egress. Spot could not have triggered the mechanism.

I've had cats, I know they can squeeze through the oddest openings. However, there shouldn't be any such openings on a starship. Or are you telling me that Spot somehow opened an access hatch to a Jefferie's Tube?

LAFORGE: Listen, my advice is ask somebody else for advice. At least someone who's got more experience at giving advice.

This would've been a good time to bring up Geordi's failures with women.

DATA: I have studied much human literature on the subject of love and romantic liaisons. There are many role models for me to emulate.
TROI: Ultimately, Jenna will care for you for what you are, not what you imitate out of a book.

Exactly. I think Data fell back on the "fake it until you make it" plot far too often, including this episode.

WORF: Klingons do not pursue relationships. They conquer that which they desire. However, Lieutenant D'Sora serves under my command. If she were mistreated, I would be very displeased, sir.
DATA: I understand.

Is he using "conquer" as a euphemism for sex? I hope not. The protective big brother thing is another cliché that I don't think fits here. Could Worf hurt Data anyway?

RIKER: I think you should pursue it. First of all, she's a beautiful woman.

I'm disturbed by Will treating beauty as the most important factor. He should've matured past the playboy phase by now.

If you've read Imzadi you should know that his initial interest in Deanna was simply "she's hot" combined with "she'll be a challenge."
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