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Old 09-21-2006, 05:35 PM
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Tate Tate is offline
Infinitely prolonged
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Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Folsom, California
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(An hour later, our heroes are out of their cell and are sneaking through a passage in the secret base.)
Sa’ar: That hour went fast. Do you guys think the narrator skipped it because he couldn’t think of a way to get us out of there?
(Silence, geological formation.)
Sa’ar: Hmmph. ‘Out of ideas’ my foot.
(SILENCE!)
Derek: Wait, do you mean that you aren’t narrating any more, Sa’ar?
Sa’ar: Nope. My turn ended back at the courtroom. I think Scooter’s been narrating since then.
Scooter: Not me.
Derek: Then who is the narrator?
Doctor Who: That’s right.
(Everyone stares at the Doctor.)
Doctor Who: I’ll go now.
Derek: Right. So where did Zuke say he was going to meet us?
Scooter: In the throne room. It’s right at the end of this corridor.
IJD: And there it is.
Derek: And there he is.
Sa’ar: And here we are.
Scooter: And here comes Darth Infamous.
Derek: Drat. I guess we’d better hide.
(They do. Darth Infamous enters the throne room, followed by several henchmen.)
Darth Infamous, Pointy Haired Dark Lord of the Sith: Ah Zuke. I thought I’d find you here. What do you have to say for yourself?
Zuke: Just this: look over there! Your prisoners are escaping!
(The henchmen quickly apprehend our heroes and drag them, handcuffed, before Darth Infamous.)
Darth Infamous, Pointy Haired Dark Lord of the Sith: Ahem.
(Sigh. ‘Darth Infamous, Pointy Haired Dark Lord of the Sith.’)
Darth Infamous, Pointy Haired Dark Lord of the Sith: Much better. I am impressed, Zuke. I think I’ll spare your life for now. Maybe you could even become my apprentice.
Zuke: I am grateful, master.
IJD: How could you betray us, Zuke?
Zuke: Me? I’m dishonest. And a dishonest man you can always trust to be dishonest. Honestly, it’s the honest ones you have to watch out for, because you can never tell when they’re going to do something incredibly…stupid.
(Suddenly, Zuke pulls out a lightsaber and turns on his old apprentice.)
Zuke: Did you really think I’d be willing to relinquish the mantle of Dark Lord of the Sixth to the likes of you?
Darth Infamous, Pointy Haired Dark Lord of the Sith: It’s ‘Dark Lord of the Sith,’ idiot. How many times to you need to be reminded of that?
(A furious lightsaber duel ensues.)
Darth Infamous, Pointy Haired Dark Lord of the Sith: Uh…henchmen? A little help here?
Henchman #1: Yeah, about that…
Darth Infamous, Pointy Haired Dark Lord of the Sith: Yes?
Henchman #1: You see, we used to be Zuke’s henchmen. Our henchmen contract forbids us from fighting a master, or a previous master.
Darth Infamous, Pointy Haired Dark Lord of the Sith: WHAT?
Henchman #1: Look, it’s union rules. If you’re not satisfied, take it up with them.
Darth Infamous, Pointy Haired Dark Lord of the Sith: (Still fighting with Zuke) If you don’t help me, you’re all fired!
Henchman #1: Good luck getting more evil henchmen after that.
Henchman #2: It looks like those two will be fighting for a while. Let’s take our break now.
Henchman #1: Good idea. I’ll pop the popcorn.
(The henchmen leave the room, as Zuke and Darth Infamous continue their duel.)
Derek: Well this is a turn for the better. Let’s get out of here now while no one is watching us.
Sa’ar: Great idea. It’s not as if we’re handcuffed.
IJD: We can still get out of here with handcuffs on. Just watch.
(IJD takes several steps, crashes into an unseen barrier, and falls to the ground.)
IJD: That force field we’re trapped in, however, may pose a problem.
Scooter: Ya think?
Zeke: Perhaps I could help with that.
Sa’ar, Scooter, Derek, and IJD: ZEKE!
Scooter: Where have you been all this time? We’ve been looking everywhere for you.
Zeke: I’ve been trying to find you. And if you’d stayed put for more than two minutes, I would have.
Derek: We’ve been prisoners for the past three hours. You don’t call that staying put?
Zeke: Bah. Details.
(After a moment, Zeke has set the captives free.)
Zeke: Quick. Let’s get out of here before those two realize you’ve escaped.
(Zeke takes off running, with the other cliffhangers close behind.)
IJD: Good to have you back, Zeke.
Zeke: Well it’s—
Scooter: That reminds me. When we get back home, I’ve got a stack of fivers for you to publish.
Derek: And we have to start planning for next year’s anniversary event.
Sa’ar: And you never replied to my email.
Zeke: You know, I was going to say that it’s good to be back.
Derek: Don’t be such a spoilsport, Zeke. At least we’re all together again, and we got out of there alive.
Zeke: Yeah, I guess you’re right. And we should be fine now, unless we run into—
Gigantic Monster: RAAARRRGGGHHH!
Zeke: …that.
Sa’ar: Skrell. We’re doomed, aren’t we?
Zeke: Yep.
All: AAAAAAHHH!
TO BE CONTINUED…
Next Time on Cliffhangers…
A memorial for heroes.
PointyHairedJedi: We are gathered here today to honour five of the best of us. Zeke, wherever you are, I want you to know that it’s been funny.
Zeke: I’m right here! And we’re NOT DEAD!
PointyHairedJedi: Yes you are.
IJD: I feel fine.
Derek: I think I’ll go for a walk.
PointyHairdJedi: You’re not fooling anyone, you know.
__________________
“Allow me to show you the door!” (Points) “Look. The door. It’s the wooden thing with the knob.” –Pancho, The Asparagus of La Mancha , VeggieTales

Candace: (gasp) The square root of 'soon' is 'never'!

The Doctor: It was all in the job title: Head of human resources.
Lance: This time, it's personnel.

To God be the glory. ><>
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