[Derek]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Alright, I'll give this a go. Forgive the markup.

[bost_uid0]YOUR NAME[/bost_uid0]

The singular boring question: What is your name?

Derek Dean

If you had been born a member of the opposite sex, what would your name have been?

I think my mom told me Rebecca once

Would you name a child of yours after you?

My father's first name is my middle name. I've considered doing something similar for my son, if I have one.

If you had to switch first names with a friend of yours, who would you switch with?

Eric, it'd be the easiest to get used to, I suspect.

What's the way people most often mispronounce any part of your name?

My name doesn't get mispronounced, but I have seen every variant spelling of Derek.

If you were to become famous, would you drop your last name (like Madonna, Cher, Roseanne)?

I'd drop my first name and go by Dean, but everyone will think I dropped my last name. Guess the joke'll be on them.

[bost_uid0]DEEP THEOLOGICAL QUESTIONS[/bost_uid0]

Do you believe in the traditional view of Heaven and Hell?

Doubtful.

Do you think God has a gender?

I agree with my wife that he transcends gender.

Do you think science counteracts religion?

"Counteracts"? That's an interesting word. I was expecting "Contradicts." I'm pretty sure the answer is no.

Do you believe in organized religion?

No, I believe in God.

Where do you think we go when we die?

I believe we "sleep" until the Final Judgment.

Do you feel a little funny thinking about the questions in this category?

Why would I?

[bost_uid0]HUMOR[/bost_uid0]

How easy is it to make you laugh?

Depends on my mood.

What person you know makes you laugh the most?

Two people: Zeke and Amanda.

Do you laugh at jokes you know you shouldn't?

While not entirely sure what type of jokes I know I shouldn't laugh at, I'm pretty sure the answer is yes regardless.

Do you tell jokes you know you shouldn't?

See above

What words instantly make you laugh or at least smile?

Llama is as good an answer as any.

What do you think is the funniest thing you've ever said or written?

I'm not sure if this is funniest thing I've ever said or written, but I think my favorite fiver of the ones I've written is "The Magicks of Megas-Tu".

[bost_uid0]MUSIC[/bost_uid0]

Do you ever dance to music when nobody's watching?

No, but I'll sing along.

What is/are the worst song(s) you have ever heard?

That slow boring song during Disney's [iost_uid0]Robin Hood[/iost_uid0] animated movie.

What song(s) do you wish you could understand a little better?

Any done in a foreign language.

What song(s) are constantly in your head?

Right now, "Eye of the Tiger", but that probably is because it's playing on my mp3 player.

What song(s) do you think describe your personality best?

"Old McDonald"

If you were to serenade the object of your affections, which song(s) would you use?

I usually use made-up songs.

If the object of your affections were to serenade you, what song(s) would you hope he or she used?

I'm flexible.

[bost_uid0]MOVIES[/bost_uid0]

What movie(s) do you love that nobody else seems to?

I loved [iost_uid0]Dark City[/iost_uid0] and [iost_uid0]Mystery Men[/iost_uid0], and while I know people who also like them, neither was largely well accepted.

Do you agree with the idea that sequels are always worse than the original?

Not necessarily, but there does seem to be a rule about the first being good, the second being poor, and the third being somewhere in between.

Who's your favorite Star Wars character?

Don't know that I have one. Chewbacca, maybe?

What kind of movie do you think there should be more of?

Movies about me, darnit.

What movie(s) do you simply not understand the appeal of?

Movies not about me.

[bost_uid0]FOOD[/bost_uid0]

When eating, are you more concerned with taste or healthiness?

Taste.

What's your favorite kind of cheese?

Swiss.

What do you think your answer to the previous question reveals about your personality?

That I'm very holy.

If you knew exactly what went into Chinese food, hamburger meat, etc., would you still eat it?

Very likely

Do you ever feel guilty eating meat?

Ha! I feel guilty if I don't eat enough red meat each week.

[bost_uid0]COMPUTERS[/bost_uid0]

Mac or PC?

Linux, which runs happily on either platform. (I've only ever used PC though.)

How much do you actually care about the inner workings of your computer, as long as it works?

Depends. I like to know how everything interoperates (and seeing as I'm a computer programmer, I do have a pretty good idea of how it does), but I don't necessarily care about [iost_uid0]my[/iost_uid0] computer's internal operations as long as it'll work.

Do you ever begin preferring IMs to other forms of conversation?

I did in college when my team members and I were working on various group projects. IMing allowed us to each be at our own computers yet still collabarate fairly well.

Do you find you're different talking through IMs than face-to-face or on the telephone?

No.

Have you ever ended bid on something on eBay and regretted it later?

I haven't ever done anything on eBay

[bost_uid0]THE BATTLE OF THE SEXES[/bost_uid0]

Have you ever wished you could experience being the other gender?

Yes.

What do you love most about the other gender?

My wife is one of them.

What do you dislike most about the other gender?

They keep asking you to stop whatever you're doing and come kill a bug for them.

What do you understand least about the other gender?

Why they can't kill bugs themselves.

[bost_uid0]CELEBRITIES[/bost_uid0]

Do you sometimes see a movie or watch a show just because a good-looking celebrity is in it?

No

What celebrity's autograph do you want most?

CS Lewis (too bad he's dead).

Have people ever said you looked like a celebrity, and if so, who?

I once had a Spanish teacher who was talking to me in Spanish say that I looked like a young Mel Gibson, but I think she was trying to see if I was following her while she was speaking or not.

If there was to be a movie about you, who do you think should play you (in personality, looks or both)?

Me.

Does it ever annoy you when you know someone is a celebrity but you can't remember why?

No, and that's what imdb.com is for anyway.

If you could enter any celebrity's mind like in "Being John Malkovich", whose would you enter?

None.

Do you want to be John Malkovich?

No, but it might be cool being that Musketeer he played (unless it was Porthos *shudder* is it chili in here?)

[bost_uid0]NUMBERS[/bost_uid0]

Do you laugh when you hear or read the number 69?

Not since high school, and only then because all my friends did.

Were you lying about your answer to the previous question?

What a dumb question.

Do you actually know your Social Security Number?

Yes.

Do you actually know your IP address?

Not off-hand; that's why I have a domain name.

Do you know what an IP address is?

Yes. It is the third layer in the seven-layer model of network communication. It is combined with the fourth layer (which is the style of transmission) when used on the internet. There are two dominant styles of IP: IPv4, which we commonly use now and is of the form xxx.xxx.xxx.xxx, and IPv6, which we will probably all move to in the not-so-far-off future and is of a form something like xx:xx:xx:xx:xx:xx.

Do you know the four-character extension on your ZIP code?

Not really. I think it starts with a 1.

Ever thought there were too many numbers floating around in our lives?

I like numbers

Does your head begin to hurt when you think of infinity, imaginary numbers, irrational numbers, etc.?

No

What do you think of pi?

SQRT(3) is cooler.

[bost_uid0]LOVE, SEX AND ALL THAT[/bost_uid0]

Did you get a little frightened or uncomfortable seeing this as a section title?

No

If someone you had no interest in dating expressed interest in dating you, how would you feel?

This actually happened to me in high school. I went out with her and have regretted it ever since.

Do you prefer getting to know someone first before dating them or going in "blind"?

I have only ever gone into relationships knowing the person, and can't conceive of doing it differently (fortunately, I don't have to worry about that anyway.)

Could you carry on a relationship with someone with the same first name as a family member?

Sure.

Have you ever wished it was more "socially acceptable" for a girl to ask a guy out?

It's okay; it's llamas.

What's your opinion on sex without emotional commitment?

I'm not in favor of it.

Have you ever been romantically attracted to someone physically unattractive?

Yes

Do you think the opposite sex finds you good-looking?

My wife seems to, and that's good enough for me.

Would you be willing to give up sex in exchange for an emotional commitment you knew would last?

I think the latter should become before the former regardless.

[bost_uid0]POSSESSIONS[/bost_uid0]

What is your favorite possession?

I donno.

What physical, tangible possession do you want most?

A widescreen TV with a nice home theatre system.

How badly do you want it?

I want it, but I can be patient.

Have you ever seen 'The Exorcist'?

Yes

How long did it take you to understand why the last question is in this section?

Longer than I'd like to admit.

[bost_uid0]HOLIDAYS[/bost_uid0]

Does Christmas music too far away from Christmas annoy you?

Christian Christmas music is nice at any time as long as it's in a religious context, but the way Christmas stuff goes out in October is somewhat pathetic.

How old do you think you will be before you stop liking getting older?

No time in the foreseeable future.

What was the best Halloween costume you ever had?

My mom once made me "The Headless Horseman" from the story about Sleepy Hollow.

What was the worst Halloween costume you ever had?

Don't recall.

What holiday do you think has still managed to retain its original meaning?

I typically treat holidays that have Christian significance with their significance.

There are currently no federal holidays during August -- what should be put there?

Don't care.

[bost_uid0]MEMORIES[/bost_uid0]

How good is your short-term memory?

Sorry, what was the question?

How good is your long-term memory?

It's like one of those big gray things.

What is your earliest memory?

Flying in the Dumbo flying ride at Disney World when I was 3 or so.

What is your happiest memory?

Probably getting married.

What is your strangest memory?

Some of my dreams seem very real and register as memories. Those are normally pretty weird.

What song, movie, etc. do you wish you could memorize?

Right now? None.

[bost_uid0]TEARS[/bost_uid0]

What movie makes/made you cry?

No movie has yet made me cry, though there are probably some that have made my eyes wet.

What book makes/made you cry?

Can't think of any.

What song makes/made you cry?

Can't think of any.

What makes/made you laugh so hard you cried?

[quoteost_uid0][bost_uid0]Tucker:[/bost_uid0] Look, Polly...I owe you an apology.
[bost_uid0]T'Pol:[/bost_uid0] For trying to kill me back on that planet?
[bost_uid0]Tucker:[/bost_uid0] Nope.
[bost_uid0]T'Pol:[/bost_uid0] For putting the dog at my duty station and calling him T'Porthos?
[bost_uid0]Tucker:[/bost_uid0] Nope.
[bost_uid0]T'Pol:[/bost_uid0] For calling me Polly a minute ago?
[bost_uid0]Tucker:[/bost_uid0] No, and that's three guesses. It's because I read the letter you got.
[bost_uid0]T'Pol:[/bost_uid0] Which one?
[bost_uid0]Tucker:[/bost_uid0] Oh, you know...the one that went "T'Pol, you must return to Vulcan immediately. Your fiancé is developing a crush on Hoshi."[/quoteost_uid0]
which is then followed up by:[quoteost_uid0][bost_uid0]Archer:[/bost_uid0] I dunno...anybody else got a plan?
[bost_uid0]T'Porthos:[/bost_uid0] Ruff!
[bost_uid0]Archer:[/bost_uid0] Now that I like. Thanks, dog-lady.[/quoteost_uid0]

[/colorost_uid0]