[PointyHairedJedi]

S.O.: They're coming about, sir, and unless I've very much mistaken they mean to ram us.
PHJ: The magnificent beast! All hands, abandon ship!
Helm: We could just... you know, steer away from them.
PHJ: And ruin a perfectly good ramming? I think not!
Number One: But this is the third ship this month! Starfleet said they won't give you any more if you keep going through them at this rate.
PHJ: Meh. With the dirt I've got on those bozos I can go through as many as I like.
S.O.: Sir, there isn't time for the pods to get away. They're almost on top of us!
PHJ: Now sounds like a fine time to pay Zeke a visit. Transporters, energise!

*The SSWIPTT, moving at a fair old clip, ploughs straight into the WWYPTT, initially sending debris everywhere (and in a much more dramatic fashion than with that sissy Enterprise-E); both ships are quickly eclipsed in a huge, really cool, explosion, the sort that would be the envy of any Death Star you care to mention, or even Steven Segal, which is saying a lot because that guy can make things explode just by standing near them. Anyway, you get the idea, I think.*

PHJ: Please tell me you were recording that. It would be such a shame not to have saved such a beautiful explosion for posterity.
Zeke: ...What the hell are you doing on my bridge?
PHJ: That should be, 'What the hell are you doing on my bridge, sir'.
Zeke: I'd blanter you with my own hands if Mister GAF weren't attached to one and Mister Shark the other.
PHJ: There's a tradition -- if an officer comes aboard a ship, and he's the same rank as the one who commands that ship, he gets treated as though he were of one rank higher. Plus, you haven't complimented me on my hotpants yet.
Zeke: Firstly, I don't care, and secondly, I'm trying really hard to keep my eyes above waist level. There are some things that I just don't need to see in this life, and you wearing hotpants is one of them.
Valium: If I might interrupt this scintillating repartee, sirs, the Mirror Universe ship appears to have been crewless when it struck the WWIPTT. I can only surmise that they had access to personal transdimensional transporters and were able to escape back to their own universe.
PHJ: So, my alter ego survived? Excellent. He is far too splendid to die quite so easily as that.
Zeke: EASILY? My ship has been half-blasted to pieces, not to mention yours being totally so, most of my crew are injured, and there are bits of dead frog all over the engine room! You call that easy?
PHJ: Considering that you're talking about polishing off a more evil version of me, yeah.
Zeke: You actually have a fair point there. Bugger. I hate it when that happens.
PHJ: Nate, where's the nearest starbase? We should set a course at once.
Zeke: Hey! This is still my bridge. I'll give the orders around here!
Nate: Well?
Zeke: ...What the hairy idiot said.
Nate: The state we're in, that's a three week trip.
PHJ: Very well. Mister Nate, engage!
Zeke: Three weeks... with Pointy? Nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

*Zeke loses his sanity at Ludicrous Speed*


THE END