November 12th, 1990, "Future Imperfect"
Fiver (by Derek)
The Episode
Captain's Log, Stardate 44286.5. The Enterprise is conducting a security survey of the Onias Sector near the Neutral Zone.
I guess a "security survey" is checking up on the defenses of the border outposts, but they could've worded that better.
PICARD: Mister Data, we must hurry or we'll miss Commander Riker's party.
DATA: Sir. I find it interesting how much importance humans place on celebrating the day of their birth. A day they cannot possibly remember.
It is a bit arbitrary, but whoever said the human race was logical?
RIKER: What about energy readings?
WORF: Magnetic clutter is increasing. I cannot make an accurate determination.
Magnetic clutter? That's an odd way to refer to EM interference.
CRUSHER: That day on Onias three, you were infected with a strain of Altarian encephalitis, a retrovirus that incorporates its DNA directly into the cells of its host. It can lie dormant for many years and then suddenly become active again, as it did in your case ten days ago.
The point of a virus is to reproduce, I don't think one can evolve to lie dormant for that long. Furthermore, is this a recent discovery? Did they know that one day Riker would just collapse and lose his memory?
RIKER: Main Bridge.
COMPUTER: Repeat command.
RIKER: I said main Bridge.
CRUSHER: Computer's been slow all morning. A processing accelerator's down. Commander La Forge has running a level one diagnostic to isolate the problem.
I get the foreshadowing with having to give Barash time to set up the next setting, but it could've been done better than this. As for a "processing accelerator", I want to say that this has to do with using subspace to get computer signals to move faster than light.
(Worf is at Ops, and a Ferengi at helm)
We know now that not all Ferengi are satisfied with the usual way of life of their people, but we didn't back then. At this time in TNG's history, the idea of a Ferengi in Starfleet is just stretching incredulity a bit too far.
RIKER: Commander Data. You're my First Officer?
DATA: Do you remember, sir?
There's a lot to unpack here about everyone except Picard staying on the Enterprise all this time. Yeah, yeah, they'll stay together through the movies, but realistically half of the senior staff should've moved on by now. Furthermore, I always hate it when senior officers from one department step into the shoes of a senior officer from another department. Worf wasn't trained to be Operations Officer in "Data's Day", and Data isn't suited for Command.
RIKER: Deanna, who's his mother?
TROI: She died two years ago. A shuttle accident. I'm sorry, Will.
RIKER: I have no recollection of her at all. What was she like?
TROI: Min was beautiful, of course, strong, intelligent, patient.
RIKER: Well, if she was married to me, she had to be patient.
I'm sorry, but this whole "Minuet is the woman Riker had the strongest feelings for, so she should be his wife" thing is a bridge too far. Riker never loved Minuet, he loved the
idea of Minuet. Oh, and using "Min" instead of "Minuet" at this point of the episode is just lazy plot hole filling. Riker only knew her as Minuet, and even if he started using "Min" as a pet name, I doubt that Troi would as well.
TOMALAK: Thank you, Admiral. It is an honour to be the first Romulan to freely walk about a Federation Starship.
Oh boy, where to start with this one. Do we ask how plausible this is? Do we talk about how hamfisted this statement is? Do we bring up T'Pel/Selok from "Data's Day"?
CRUSHER: Will, how old were you when you first started playing parrises squares?
RIKER: Alright, I was probably a little younger than he is.
With all the times they mention Parisses Squares, I wish we could've seen an actual game.
DATA: Pardon me, sir. I am experiencing subspace interference which limits my abilities. I can't operate as quickly as
RIKER: What did you say?
DATA: I said I cannot operate
RIKER: No! That's not what you said. You said I can't. You used a contraction, didn't you?
DATA: Sir, I can explain if you would just give me a moment.
Once again, I get what they were going for, but this is not the ideal way to prove Will is in a simulation. It's been sixteen years, plenty of time for Data to modify himself to use contractions.
TOMALAK: With the help of our neural scanners and what you would call a holodeck.
So the Romulans don't call them holodecks? What was the purpose of this line?
The Fiver
Riker: So Data's my first officer now?
B4: Actually, I'm not Data.
Riker: Sure, whatever.
Whether or not Data's memories actually made it into B4 is a long discussion by itself. The problem here is the use of that contraction. If the episode is going to make a big deal about it, so should the fiver.
Riker: I've never trusted Romulans, and I never will. I can never forgive them for the death of my boy.
Cute reference, but what "boy" is Riker referring to here?
Jean-Luc: Will, you are my father.
Riker: No, that's not true! That's impossible!
Troi: Um, no, it's not.
I can't decide if the Star Wars reference was stretched too far for this joke or not.
Jean-Luc: Try giving it a stardate. Computer, show the picture of mom from stardate 11001001.
Riker: Isn't that kind of long for a stardate?
Jean-Luc: Um, it was a leap year.
Stardate 11001001 would be January 1st, 12931. Future dates in Trek rarely go that high, but at least we can be sure that the Andromeda galaxy is completely uninhabitable by then.
Riker: This is all a hoax, and I can prove it! Worf, where'd you get that scar?
Worf: In battle against the Dominion.
Riker: Ha! Whoever heard of the Dominion?
Nice one.
Memory Alpha
* First appearance of Ogawa.
Nitpicker's Guide
* Phil points out the fact that the communicators double as rank insignia. I have to point out that Ogawa is apparently still an ensign. That's weird.
* Ogawa apparently won't age in sixteen years. Oops.