November 19th, 1990, "Final Mission"
Fiver by Admiral Sab
The Episode
Captain's log, stardate 44307.3. I am preparing to leave by shuttlecraft for Pentarus Five, where I have been asked to mediate a dispute among the salenite miners, a contentious group unfortunately prone to violence.
This is the only mention of salenite. You wonder why they didn't use a preexisting mineral. Not dilithium, but maybe boronite, gallicite, topaline, etc.
PICARD: I just received a message from Admiral Nsomeka. She expects you to report in two weeks. A position has opened up in this year's class.
The Academy has a quota/class size this strict? Weird.
PICARD: Ah, Captain. It's good to meet you.
WESLEY: Captain? Of a mining shuttle?
DIRGO: Yes, Ensign, Captain.
This thing can't be that much smaller than Okona's ship the ''Erstwhile.'' I have more trouble accepting the idea that a one-man crew automatically earns the name "Captain."
WESLEY: Sir, one of the moons around Pentarus Three registers as class M, barely. The mean temperature is fifty five degrees Celsius.
55 degC is 130 degF. I really don't think these guys could survive that long without water.
PICARD: Surely you have emergency supplies?
DIRGO: This isn't a starship. I have to choose what I carry.
PICARD: Are you telling me there's no water?
I'm having trouble believing that fifty pounds of emergency water and food would make that much difference for any spaceship. Furthermore, mass may matter at sublight speeds but at warp it's the volume of the ship that matters.
LAFORGE: The radiation levels from that ship are off the scale.
I hate it when scifi series say that. When you have ships being sent outside of known space by advanced aliens, you should have larger scales. Furthermore, if the radiation levels are THAT high everyone on board should be dying already.
WORF: Commander, a message from the mining settlement on Pentarus Five. The shuttlecraft carrying Captain Picard has not yet arrived.
CRUSHER: They left here at oh eight hundred hours.
WORF: They have asked if we are beginning a search.
RIKER: Tell them we have an emergency situation. We'll begin a search as soon as we've completed that.
Couldn't the saucer handle this drifting vessel situation while the stardrive goes back to look for Picard and company? With all this nonsense you almost wonder why the saucer was designed to detach in the first place.
TROI: We've contacted the nearest Starbase for a search vessel. I'm afraid the closest one is almost a week away.
Really? Are we that far into the sticks? Shouldn't there be an acceptable radius to space these starbases out? Like, no more than two days at Warp 8 from everywhere in the Federation?
(some things rush into the cavern, rather like
the seraphim from Raiders of the Lost Ark)
It's been too long since I watched the Indiana Jones movie. Incidentally, if you haven't watched Crystal Skull yet, DON'T. I have no idea if Indy 5 will be any good.
First Officer's log, stardate 44307.6. Radiation levels on the Enterprise continue to rise. The ventilation system has started pumping hyronalin into our air supply to counteract the effects.
Seriously, even if they didn't have Picard to worry about, this is a prime situation for saucer separation and a skeleton crew. And they should be wearing spacesuits as another layer of radiation protection.
CRUSHER: Crusher to Medical unit one, evacuate and seal off all non-operational areas. Group the crew and their families in the interior corridors of decks nine and ten. Radiation exposure protocol.
Crusher should've already been doing this!
COMPUTER: Warning. Radiation levels at one hundred fifty millirads per minute and rising. Lethal exposure in thirty five minutes.
I've probably already mentioned this in another episode, but everyone is not going to die at the same level of radiation. Age, species, health, etc. will play a factor. Just say "casualties expected in 35 minutes"!
First Officer's log, supplemental. Mister La Forge has diverted power from auxiliary fusion generators in an attempt to stabilise the tractor beam. This is the only hope of increasing our towing speed so we can clear the asteroid belt before radiation levels become fatal.
You should've already been doing that!
PICARD: I was selfish. I thought I wouldn't see you again. I'm sorry.
He thought he wouldn't see Wesley again? Wesley would've been on the first shuttle back as soon as he had vacation time!
LAFORGE: Most shuttlecraft hulls are made of duranium.
Most SPACESHIP hulls are made out of duranium, Geordi!
PICARD: Aupres de ma blonde, il fait bon, fait bon, fait bon.
These are lyrics from a French song called "Aupres de ma blonde" ("Next to my Girlfriend"). It's used as a drinking song and nursery rhyme. The transcriber accidentally used "il" instead of "qu'il." It means "Next to my darling, how good it is, it is, it is."
PICARD: There's so much I wanted to tell you. The Academy, there's someone, someone who meant a great deal to me. He's been there forever. Someone you must get to know. His name is Boothby. Now, you tell him that you and I were friends. Now, when I was there, he helped me. Listen to him.
WESLEY: What does he teach?
PICARD: He's the groundskeeper. One of the wisest men I ever knew.
Nice setup.
PICARD: One moment. Mister Crusher?
WESLEY: Yes, sir.
PICARD: What are you doing in such a filthy uniform?
WESLEY: You don't look so ship-shape yourself, sir.
PICARD: Wesley, you will be missed.
Nice moment.
The Fiver
Wesley: What a piece of junk!
Dirgo: She may not look like much, kid, but she's got it where it counts.
Picard: Nice to meet you, Captain Solo.
See, this time it's not merely a reference because Dirgo is actually like a hardened, more cynical version of Solo.
La Forge: It's a radioactive garbage scow! We came all this way to take out the trash!
Riker: Hmm...I wonder if the Malon had something to do with this?
Data: Who?
Riker: Um, never mind. Wrong quadrant.
I wonder if Admiral Sab knew that Riker was considered for the command of Voyager.
Wesley: Here's a fire to warm you up.
Picard: There's something about the flame...the smell of the smoke....
Wesley: Sir, you're delirious.
Picard: Never mind.
Nice nod to "Attached."
Memory Alpha
* Wheaton wanted to leave the show so he could be in movies. A quick look at his IMDB page shows that he didn't do too well at it. I don't recognize any of his work until Flubber in 1997. (Incidentally, I don't think he did very well in that film, he's certainly no Tommy Kirk from the original).
* I was surprised to learn that Boothby only made three appearances, "The First Duty", "In The Flesh", and "The Fight."
Nitpicker's Guide
* Wouldn't Geordi's safety inspection before the shuttle left reveal the lack of emergency supplies?
* Who made this fountain and installed the sentry? (a mention of the Preservers would've been a great namedrop for this episode)
* Why didn't Riker just let the ship crash into the asteroid field?