[Chancellor Valium]

Ok.......so it's late..........but anyhow. There is also a poll attached to this....please vote (no-one else would set one up.....just shows how lazy people 'round here are :mrgreen: ). I tried to clear this with Zeke, but I didn't get a response, so I think he's a bit too busy at the moment, but I also wanted to share this story with everyone. Hokay, blurb over: Now, onto this shocking article itself....not that the article will shock you, just that it's bad, 'kay?

Zeke ex-Grand Nagus, Claims Icke
Conspiracy ‘High Priest’ Claims that Colin ‘Zeke’ Hayman, Webmaster of 5-Minute Voyager, is in fact ex-Grand Nagus Zek of Ferenginar.
By Chancellor Valium

Earlier today, well-known conspiracy theorist David Icke, the man who told us that the Royal Family of Great Britain are in face shape-shifting lizards, proclaimed that 5-Minute Voyager webmaster, Colin ‘Zeke’ Hayman, is in fact the ex-Grand Nagus of Ferenginar, Zek.

“It was the name that did it for me,” claims Icke, “I mean, one letter away from his actual name - it stinks of the kind of arrogance we’ve come to expect from the Ferengi. Plus, I have been given documentary evidence which incontrovertibly proves that this guy is the ex-Grand Nagus. I mean, he‘s even apparently got big ears!” When pressed to show his evidence, Mr. Icke declined, claiming that this reporter is “a typical hack. You’ll twist my words and then shove them back down my throat. And you’ll cut my explanations and twist everything I say. In fact, you’re probably one of the lizard people.” This reporter left hurriedly, as Mr. Icke screamed “LIZARD-ALIEN SCUM!” and threw plastic alien models at this reporter as he exited.

When confronted by Mr. Icke’s accusation, Mr. Hayman commented “It’s complete nonsense. He probably made it up off the top of his head, like all the other shazbot he comes out with. I mean, the man’s clearly crazy. Everyone knows that’s my uncle Zek.”

When asked for an opinion by this reporter, well known cook, punter and general smart-arse Sa’ar Chasm, Mr. Chasm merely said that “We pøøt the cheekee een the båskit, børk børk børk!”, and then threw the same chicken through a basketball hoop no less than four times. Site Manager Kira stopped torturing people only long enough to say that “What? That’s completely absu-- uh......I mean, Icke’s right! Down with Zeke/Zek! Down with Zeke/Zek!” While not asked, infamous criminal minimind Mr. richardson, known as “richardson” demanded that his opinion be included, or he would fire a banana at point blank range through this reporter’s temples. This reporter declined. Once again, Mining Chief Xeroc Aquillion was asked his view. “Hmmm.........It is possible. And even if Zeke doesn’t look like Zek, he could be wearing a holoemitter....or this could all be a holoprogramme.” This reporter backed away, as Mr. Aquillion expounded his theories on why 5-Minute Voyager is a holoprogramme, and began to foam at the mouth.

True? False? One thing is certain. That, to one and all, 5MV is most definitely worth it’s weight in gold-pressed latinum.