Thread: BAW meets SSB!
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Old 12-15-2007, 03:38 PM
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PointyHairedJedi PointyHairedJedi is offline
He'd enjoy a third pie
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And now, part the third, featuring some familiar faces...


*Meanwhile, on the bride of the as yet unsuspecting USS Ottawa...*

Zeke: Dammit, I can't believe it's come to this.
Nate: Yeah yeah, just gimme the pips.
Zeke: I mean, I really can't believe it's come to this. *Sigh* Crewman Nate, I hereby promote you to Junior Apprentice Helmsperson, Third Grade.
Nate: Woo hoo! I get to steer the ship!
IJD: Face it, Admiral--
Zeke: Ahem.
IJD: Fine. Face it, Commodore, you don't have much choice. You've promoted everyone else to fill in the gaps, and we've still got some. You were going to have to give Nate something to do at some point, and face it, the emergency inflatable helmsman is great for going in straight lines, but not much else.
Zeke: You're right, number one, but I'm still going to punish you by turning down the heating anyway.
IJD: Again? But it's practically an icecube in here already!
Nate: Don't be daft. Back home in Minnesota we'd call this sunbathing weather.
IJD: Eskimos. I'm surrounded by flaming Eskimos. Hrmph.
Valium: Admiral, sir--
Zeke: AHEM.
Valium: Yes yes. If you'd let me finish, Rear Admiral, long range sensors are picking up two ships travelling towards us at high warp.
Zeke: Do I have to send you to the brig?
Valium: It's completely archaic! Starfleet doesn't actually use the rank any more, sir, and hasn't in a while. So why do you persist?
Zeke: Why did IJD panel the whole bridge in cedar? It's just one of those things, Lieutenant. Now behave yourself or I'll remove all the vowels from your console's keyboard.
Valium: *Mutter mutter mutter*
Zeke: I didn't quite catch that.
Valium: I said, *Mutter mutter mutter*, sir.
Zeke: That's better. Now what's this about incoming ships?
Valium: One of them has a Starfleet transponder. The other is unknown. The 'Fleet ship reads as the Watch Where You're Pointing That Thing. Sapristi nobolas! Isn't that...
Zeke: ...Rear Admiral PointyHairedJedi. Yes. Hmm. I think perhaps we should go to red alert and arm all weapons. Just in case.
Mudshark: Waaay ahead of you there, Zeke.
Zeke: Excellent. Mr NAH, how are things looking down in engineering?
NAH: Och aye, Commodore laddie. Thins' look reet bonny doon here--
Zeke: For the last time, don't do the accent! It sounds just terrible.
NAH: But it's traditional, sir!
Zeke: I don't care. Just don't do it. Frogarium status?
KatyJane: It's all green down here, sir.
Zeke: You'll get a recommendation for that, Ensign. Or a charge. I'm not sure which yet. Helm? Don't crash into anything unless I say so.
Nate: What about billboards bearing acronyms that feature the word 'the' as part of the acronym?
Zeke: Anything APART from those. Weapons status?
Mudshark: They make things go 'kaboom', sir.
Zeke: Good, good. Doctor whoiam, prepare sickbay to recieve casualties. Lieutenant LtFielding -- and by the way, how confusing is that? -- prepare security teams to repel boarders. I think that just leaves you, Mister Sa'ar.
Sa'ar: Just say the word, Commodore, and I'll have those gold nanoparticles ready and waiting for action.
Zeke: ...Yeah. You... do that, then. And make me some coffee, while you're at it.
Sa'ar: Sure. You want some gold nanoparticles in that?
Zeke: I'll pass, if it's all the same.
Valium: They'll be dropping out of warp any second now, sir.

*The WWYPTT drops out of warp almost right in front of the Ottawa, avoiding ramming the other ship only by a few tens of metres. Not twenty seconds later, the SSWIPTT appears too, and almost immediately starts attacking the other two ships. It is fair to say that many redshirts will probably die in the next few minutes*

*Splosions and stuff*
Zeke: If we survive this, I'll kill him! I'll pun him to death with my own keyboard! Return fire, Mister Shark, return fire!

PHJ: Wheeeee! This is fun!
Number One: If we survive this, hopefully Zeke will kill him.
T.O.: If we survive. Sheilds at sixty-three percent, sir! Ventral phasers offline!
PHJ: Wheeeeeeeee! All this shaking is even more fun when you spin the chair around.
Number One: Sir! We need orders!
PHJ: Harumph. Fine. Try to take out their sensor arrays, then, and determine if they have any tea on board!
Helm: Today is not a good day to die!
PHJ: Wheeeeeeee!

Zeke: Report!
Valium: Eeek!
Nate: --dontwannadiedontwannadiedontwannadie--
NAH: Mommie!
Mudshark: I've been better.
Zeke: Pull yourselves together! What's Pointy doing?
Mudshark: Attacking their sensors, looks like. They're in better shape than us, but not by much!
IJD: Might I suggest that we stage a retreat before we get completely blown to pieces?
Sa'ar: Sir, I don't mean to alarm you, but I dropped my box of gold nanoparticles. They're all over the bridge, sir! Oh God, they're everywhere! We're all dooooomed!
Zeke: Yes, but not for your silly reason. Nate, plot a course for somewhere that it looks like we could hide for a while, and I suppose someone should let Pointy know that we're retreating.
Valium: Oh, must we? Ah well. Sir, I've got the perfect place.
Zeke: Mister Nate, engage!
__________________
Mason: Luckily we at the Agency use use a high-tech piece of software that will let us spot him instantly via high-res satellite images.
Sergeant: You can? That's amazing!
Mason: Yes. We call it 'Google Earth'.
- Five Minute 24 S1 (it lives, honest!)

"Everybody loves pie!"
- Spongebob Squarepants

Last edited by PointyHairedJedi; 12-15-2007 at 05:53 PM.
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