Excellent Job Zeke!
My favorite parts:
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"The remaining invitations went to people who simply stand out in their fields. Peter Jackson. Kevin Smith. Hillary Clinton. Emeril. Stephen Hawking. Weston Smythe. Colin Powell. José Niger. Yamamura Sadako. Satan. Farmer McDonald. See, he's always out standing in his field... get it? Heh heh. Heh heh heh. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH-- yes.
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If anyone ignores that, there will be hell to pay. And they're rich, so they can pay it. Thank you."
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We at This Just In, having illegally (shhh) obtained ...
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Episode III: Revenge of the Actually Pretty Decent Title
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"They get the first crack at the voters. Of course, we still haven't decided who the voters are yet, but when we do, there will be hell to pay."
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Crude Joke? It seems okay to me.