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#1
05-31-2004, 03:39 AM
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[color=#000000
 ost_uid0]Today we've got a new Original Series fiver: Five-Minute "The Cloud Minders" by IJD GAF. Thought for the day: PHP subsites are indeed easier to update. By the way, on Wednesday and Thursday last week we hit a new daily hitcount record, breaking 1000 for the first time. (The new record is about 1110.) This is largely due to being linked from a porn site.... (That link [i ost_uid0]is[/iost_uid0] actually work-safe. Apparently there's a filtered version of the site.)[/colorost_uid0]
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FiveMinute.net: because stuff is long and life is short [03:17] FiveMinZeke: Galactica clearly needs the advanced technology of scissors, which get around the whole "yanking on your follicles" problem. [03:17] IJD: cylons can hack any blades working in conjunction 
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#2
05-31-2004, 04:47 AM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0]>> Five-Minute "The Cloud Minders" by IJD GAF. Thought for the day: PHP subsites are indeed easier to update. <<On the other hand, the homepage says that the fiver is "by Zeke".  [/colorost_uid0]
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Marc 5MNG Section Head
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#3
05-31-2004, 04:49 AM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Kirk: (rushing into the room) Spock! Where are my handcuffs? That Troglyte woman is really itching for some action![/quoteost_uid0]Kirk's da man! If any fictional captain ever lived up to the real life promiscuity of John Paul Jones, he did! Go Kirk! [quote ost_uid0]...those rebel scum.[/quoteost_uid0]lol. Great fiver![/color ost_uid0]
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Kirk: Bones, this man needs medical attention! McCoy: Dammit Jim I'm a Doctor, not a... oh sure!
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#4
05-31-2004, 11:29 AM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0][iost_uid0]by Zeke[/iost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]Taking too much credit, are you Zeke? Haven't read the fiver yet. Stupid exams. :eyeroll:[/color ost_uid0]
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~Bachelor of Science Marijke I'm not the devil, I just work for her. What spoon? There is no spoon. According to Zeke, it's a cat. ~NeoMatrix "Apparently we're on the wrong side. Or the right side if you like winning." ~Spike Sa'ar Chasm: Too far south you hit Belgium. catalina marina: Not in Limburg you don't. Sa'ar Chasm: You do if you go south in the right way.
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#5
05-31-2004, 12:10 PM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0]This is gold! Nice work IJD, this one's going to have me chuckling for the rest of the day.[/colorost_uid0]
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Mason: Luckily we at the Agency use use a high-tech piece of software that will let us spot him instantly via high-res satellite images. Sergeant: You can? That's amazing! Mason: Yes. We call it 'Google Earth'. - Five Minute 24 S1 (it lives, honest!) "Everybody loves pie!" - Spongebob Squarepants
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#6
05-31-2004, 02:03 PM
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[quote
ost_uid0="Marc"][color=#000000ost_uid0]On the other hand, the homepage says that the fiver is "by Zeke". [/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0][color=#000000 ost_uid0]No it doesn't. What are you talking about? It doesn't and it never did. You crazy. You a crazy man.[/colorost_uid0]
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FiveMinute.net: because stuff is long and life is short [03:17] FiveMinZeke: Galactica clearly needs the advanced technology of scissors, which get around the whole "yanking on your follicles" problem. [03:17] IJD: cylons can hack any blades working in conjunction
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#7
05-31-2004, 04:09 PM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Troglyte: Help! Police brutality!Plasus: Where are your papers? Troglyte: Um.... Plasus: Where were you on the night of April the 7th? Troglyte: Er.... Plasus: Show us on the doll where they touched you![/quote ost_uid0]*znerk* [quote ost_uid0]Kirk: Cool! I'm into S&M too![/quoteost_uid0]The constant references to my initials were worrisome. [quote ost_uid0]Captain's Log: Even though I didn't make a log entry right here, it's really the only way to conveniently say that the effects of the zienite gas wore off. Eventualloog.[/quoteost_uid0]Oog. Ooog oog oog. [i ost_uid0]Ooog![/iost_uid0] *smashes club*[/colorost_uid0]
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The first run through of any experimental procedure is to identify any potential errors by making them.
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#8
05-31-2004, 07:58 PM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0]-Nuclear Wessel-GASP! I've been labeled! "And Admiral, its the [i ost_uid0]Enterprise[/iost_uid0]."[/colorost_uid0]
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Kirk: Bones, this man needs medical attention! McCoy: Dammit Jim I'm a Doctor, not a... oh sure!
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#9
05-31-2004, 09:19 PM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0]Allow me to play my air guitar in celebration.[/colorost_uid0]
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Mason: Luckily we at the Agency use use a high-tech piece of software that will let us spot him instantly via high-res satellite images. Sergeant: You can? That's amazing! Mason: Yes. We call it 'Google Earth'. - Five Minute 24 S1 (it lives, honest!) "Everybody loves pie!" - Spongebob Squarepants
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#10
05-31-2004, 10:23 PM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0]Now that was a challenge--how to make Kirk appear [iost_uid0]even dumber[/iost_uid0] than usual.[/colorost_uid0]
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An updated list of all my online writing can be found here. Check it out.
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#11
06-01-2004, 02:49 AM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0](The new record is about 1110.) This is largely due to being linked from a porn site.[/quoteost_uid0]Charming.  [quote ost_uid0]Uhura: The High Advisor of Ardana has requested you beam down to the cloud city below.Kirk: We will therefore beam down to the entrance of the mines on the surface. Spock: Why do you not trust Advisor Plasus' coordinates? Kirk: I knew the guy once. He was a scoundrel. [/quote ost_uid0]Heheheh. The "Empire" references were great. [quote ost_uid0]Vanna: You idiot, you really thought I believed that "mask" crap? Now get on all fours and mine this zienite.Kirk: Ooo, kinky! Vanna: And don't enjoy it! Kirk: Aw. [/quote ost_uid0]The S&M references were also very funny, if not slightly disturbing, And considering the influx of visitors from the porn site, it makes you wonder if the 5MV is taking some new direction? [/colorost_uid0]
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\"Lord Eddard Stark is a proud, honourable, honest man, and his lady wife is worse.\" ~A Game of Thrones, book one of Song of Ice and Fire
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#12
06-01-2004, 06:07 AM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Plasus: (ahem) Here you'll see some beautiful art forms which ACK!Kirk: I don't see any ACKing art forms. Spock: Well that one has a knife sticking out of it. Plasus: Hence the "ACK!" Kirk: Oh, you meant that piece. I was looking at the Pollock. [/quote ost_uid0]ACKtion paintings? [quote ost_uid0]Plasus: Captain, I demand you send me back!Kirk: That's not possibloog. Plasus: Oog? Oog! Oog! (punch) Kirk: Oog. Oooooog! (punch) Vanna: Vanna to Enterprise, the zienite is taking oog! Oog oog! (WHOOSH) [/quote ost_uid0]Oogoog. Oog. Good one, [b ost_uid0]IJD[/bost_uid0].  [/colorost_uid0]
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Methinks Ted Sturgeon was too kind. 'Yes, but I think some people should be offended.' -- John Cleese (on whether he thought some might be offended by Monty Python)
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#13
06-01-2004, 09:20 PM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Kirk: Yeah! We're here to undress you!Droxine: I wanna be undressed.... ... McCoy: I studied a sample of zienite, and discovered that the mineral emits harmful radiation which retards the brain. Kirk: Huh? McCoy: It makes you stupider. Kirk: Huh? McCoy: Me smart. You grow dumb. Kirk: Ah, gotcha. McCoy: ....so you see, by using these stylish filter masks the Troglytes will be smarter and cooler. Plasus: (on screen) That's the stupidest thing I ever heard. I won't allow you to pass them out. Kirk: Even if we include them in "Vote for Plasus" baggies, with badges and stickers and miniature lawn signs? Plasus: Ooooo. ... Spock: Can't I blame the zienite like you? Kirk: The what? Spock: The "magic hurty stuff" Kirk: Oh, that. ... Spock: So are we on par for a happy ending now, or what? Kirk: A what? Spock: An "Episode make feel good"?[/quote ost_uid0] Funny stuff, IJD.[/colorost_uid0]
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My 5MV webpages My novel fivers list Yup “There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct.” -- Isto Combs
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#14
06-04-2004, 10:19 PM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Television: "I hate being from Uranus! I'm the butt of every joke."[/quoteost_uid0]LOL! I remember that old Nickelodeon TV show! The one with the guy who played the black Power Ranger on it, and the kids who were from places that it would be impossible for them to be from! Like Mercury! Or the Andromeda galaxy! Crazy, silly show! I love the obscure references!! .... Anybody remember what it was called? Space Cases, maybe?[/color ost_uid0]
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McCoy: She\'s a woman! The Nomad Probe: A mass of conflicting impulses... ~Star Trek: TOS, \"The Changeling\"
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#15
06-07-2004, 03:47 AM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid0]Yes, that was Space Cases. Created by Peter David and Bill Mumy.[/colorost_uid0]
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FiveMinute.net: because stuff is long and life is short [03:17] FiveMinZeke: Galactica clearly needs the advanced technology of scissors, which get around the whole "yanking on your follicles" problem. [03:17] IJD: cylons can hack any blades working in conjunction
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#16
06-08-2004, 05:02 PM
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[color=#000000
ost_uid11]The thought of a children's show created in part by Peter "I'm a One-Trick Pony" David is distinctly disturbing. I hope you aren't referring to the Star Trek writer...  [/colorost_uid11]
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My 5MV webpages My novel fivers list Yup “There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct.” -- Isto Combs
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#17
06-08-2004, 10:38 PM
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__________________
Methinks Ted Sturgeon was too kind. 'Yes, but I think some people should be offended.' -- John Cleese (on whether he thought some might be offended by Monty Python)
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