Sci-fi story help - need a little insight on a story i wrote

[Gatac]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Exposition is a valid point, of course, but by my gut feeling, having her cry and sob about it is good enough for now. If you really want her to say something, then wait until she stops crying and is back to sobbing.

Something like that:

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Ariela rolled onto the floor, drawing her limbs close and curling up in a fetal position. For a second, the sheer enormity of emotion quenched any sound she might have produced, but her hot tears were soon followed by small sobs that grew ever louder, eventually reaching their climax when her cramping limbs came loose again. Rolling onto her back, her arms and legs a tangle on the floor, she finally cried at full volume, screaming out her pain against the cold walls of the holodeck.

Only a good minute later did she find the strength to control her breathing again; tears still streamed and colored her eyes the sore red of tragedy, but at least, she could now stop herself from sobbing, mostly anyway. In between the short, sharp breaths Ariela's body forced on her, she stammered

"Tom...don't you...realise...how much...I love you?"

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I'm not sure if this is what you're shooting for, and I normally subscribe more to the "Silent Pain" school (probably because I'm a big Internaliser myself), but that's how I'd do a sob scene.

Gatac[/colorost_uid0]