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Old 03-24-2004, 02:38 AM
dsbs dsbs is offline
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Join Date: Feb 2004
Location: Canada
Posts: 34
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]First off, I love
[quoteost_uid0]Tank: The fake GAK gets them every time.
Neo: Perhaps I should try that sometime.[/quoteost_uid0]

but I think it would read better if the second line were:
[quoteost_uid0]Neo: Perhaps I should try that.[/quoteost_uid0]
only because time used so many times sounds a bit off. I'm being incredibly stupidly picky, I'm sure, but I just think it would make it perfect (I REALLY love that line)

Also
[quoteost_uid0]Cypher: It's gonna take a miracle to save you now, Neo!
Neo: I have just four words for you, Cypher: "I'm in the sequels".
Tank: And I've got two words for you--Die, sucka!
Cypher: One word: GAK!
[/quoteost_uid0]
is good

so I guess without adding/subtracting anything else, I would suggest:
[quoteost_uid0]
Cypher: Great job pulling me back, Tank. Allow me to say "thank you."
Tank: Can you say it without the gun?

Cypher: Hey Trinity, are you really better off with this airhead, saving our crappy real lives, than living with me in fantasyland?
Trinity: Compared to you, I'd be better off with a famished cannibal.
Tank: Hey, Cypher! Â Allow me to say--"you're welcome!"
Cypher: Lethal irony sucks. Â GAK!
Tank: Heh. Â The fake GAK gets them every time.
Neo: Maybe I should try that.
[/quoteost_uid0][/colorost_uid0]

 

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