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ost_uid0]I like Kira's version. I suggest a transition of some sort at the start of the second sentence of Morpheus's second line. I think that line sounds slightly stilted as it stands. I agree that this post sounds much more stilted up to this point.
A simple "Neo," would probably do the trick (and would also put "Neo" in the same sentence with "One", increasing the chances that the reader will spot the joke right away). But that's just a suggestion that need not be acted upon.[/color
ost_uid0]
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“There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct.” -- Isto Combs
06-10-2003, 03:07 AM
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