June 17

[Sa'ar Chasm]

Baran: What should we do with the Starfleet officer?
Narik and Vekor: Burn him!
Baran: And what do we burn apart from Starfleet officers?
Galen: More Starfleet officers!
Baran: Suddenly I am overcome by a very strange sense of irony.

There's been an awful lot of Monty Python lately. Stop stealing my schtick, all of you. :P

Data: If they're going after Romulan artifacts, we'll need to warn the outpost on Calder Two.
Geordi: Why Calder Two?
Data: The Lieutenant there owes me money.

This has to be the longest running gag I've ever seen. Well done.

Baran: So now what are you going to do?
Riker: I saw this in a movie once. We get the command codes for the ship and tell it to lower its shields!
Baran: Sounds like a pretty stupid movie.
Tallera: It was. I much preferred the two after it.

Worf: Our shields aren't lowering.
Data: Lower them!

KHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAN!

Sisko: Good news, everyone! Look what I got in the mail this morning -- the provisional government has invited us to remain on the station.
O'Brien: Sir, it says it's an unvitation.
Sisko: What? Those jerks! That does it, we're going commando.
Bashir: Do you mean --
Sisko: In the army sense, Doctor.
Bashir: Ah.

*znerk* The sad thing is that I had Bashir's reaction before I read Bashir's line.

Sisko: What's Quark done now, Constable?
Quark: Look, if this is about my overbooking seats, you've obviously never flown Air Ferenginar.
Odo: Actually, Quark, I'd like you to explain these.
Sisko: A wig, high heels, and a woman's dress?

Excuse me. I'm going to go poke out my eyes with a fork. *twitch*

Kira: What the... Bareil? Where am I? How did you get here?
Bareil: I was in the forest meditating on an ancient riddle when your shuttle went down. I found you and brought you here to the monestary.
Kira: It's lucky that our shuttle crashed in that forest.
Bareil: And that I was there to hear it.

It's all Bareil's fault. If he hadn't been there to hear it, they shuttle never would have crashed. Or something.

Sisko: NNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Bashir: The slow motion's over, sir.
Sisko: Damn, I never seem to be able to nail that.

Hah! I love it.

Zeke: Now there's a well-read spider.

Marc: Must have eaten a bookworm.

IJD: What's more troubling is the hourglass on its back.

Redbacks are scarier (and bigger) than black widows.

Derek: You're in my narration of what our adventure should be like. Sit still and enjoy the ride.

IJD: It bothers me that I'm part of Derek's fantasy.

Kira: It bothers you?

*znerk*

Derek: Ow. Someone just hit me with a snowball!

IJD: Don't look at me. I don't even know how to make snowballs.

Kira: (whistles)

Hey! That's national profiling. Just because she comes from a frozen wasteland, you automatically assume she knows how to make snowballs.

*hides pile of snowballs behind nearby moose*

White Witch: I can turn things to stone with my wand. For instance, see that cedar tree?

IJD: Yeah?

(The tree turns to stone.)

White Witch: Now are you afraid?

IJD: I'm petrified!

Booooooo! (In Bizarro world, boo means yay).

Excellent work. Can't wait for the next installment.