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#1
10-25-2018, 11:34 AM
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October 25th, 1968, "Spectre of the Gun"
The Fiver (by PointyHairedJedi) Transcript Memory Alpha Fair warning, this one won't be very positive. I tend to not like these pseudo-holodeck episodes when they don't have any character development. The Episode * Why is the Enterprise trespassing in another nation's space? They aren't at war, trying to find allies. They aren't looking for a rare mineral or medicine that is needed immediately. * If Kirk really wanted to make it clear that he came in peace, he should've stayed at the border of Melkotian space and asked for permission to enter. * They try to explain the Melkotian's recreation of the Old West as being derived from incomplete information, then they say that this may be all that was needed. They're both baseless assumptions, and nothing comes from it, so why bring it up? We understand low budgets, we forgive a lot, so stop pointing out that the emperor is naked and then not throwing him some clothes! * Why did they bring up the "you can't change history" thing? This is clearly not time travel, what does history have to do with it? We'll get back to this. * "Death is real"? Why wasn't this a redshirt that we know is real? The guy that died could very well be an illusion or robot, right? * When Chekov "dies" they use the contradiction to conclude that this is not a 100% accurate recreation of the real events. Huh? They knew that this was a fake setting already. Another script that needed a few more rounds of editing. * So our heroes foil the illusion and refuse to be killed. How does this equate to "refuse to kill"? And why do the Melkotians suddenly like them now? The Fiver Captain's Log: Fog? Most unexpected. I shall certainly mention it to our meteorologist Mr. Fish when we get back. Apparently Michael Fish is a British weatherman who denied that a hurricane was coming back in 1987. The Michael Fish Effect is when a weatherman predicts worse weather than reality as a way of hedging their bets. If PHJ is equating fog with a hurricane, it's a bit of a stretch. Chekov: I think we may be getting an incoming message from that big giant head. 3rd Rock From the Sun hasn't aged as well as some other cultural touchstones, has it? Although the Shatner connection works better than most. Kirk: Listen, I know this is going to sound strange, but we're actually space explorers from the twenty-fourth century, and my name is Kirk. Ed: That's a good one Ike. Not as funny as the one about the cattle rancher and the three nuns though. Tsk, tsk, tsk. Twenty-third century, PHJ. I'll need an explanation of the cattle rancher/three nuns thing. Anyway, even with the dated references the fiver is way better than the episode. Nitpickers Guide * Phil points out that back in "Friday's Child" Kirk promised to leave if they weren't wanted, but this time he won't.
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mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further. 
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#2
11-01-2018, 11:30 AM
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November 1st, 1968, "Day of the Dove"
Fiver (by IJD GAF) Transcript Memory Alpha The Episode Note: I consider "Beta XII-A entity" to be a bit of a mouthful and awkward to write, so I'll be calling it (*) in honor of the Q Continuum novels. * The colony had a hundred people and was implied to be self-sufficient. I doubt that those two statements are compatible, and once again a plot hole was created when it wasn't needed. Saying a thousand people or a brand-new colony would've meant rewriting a line of dialogue, no additional cost. * It's amazing how many supposed plot holes can be explained by the influence of (*). Another episode that's focused on character work rather than logic. * The distress button is a good idea, too bad it didn't exist in previous episodes. * It's a shame Mara wasn't used more. After the performance of Charvanek a few weeks ago seeing the viewpoint of a Klingon woman would've been interesting. * Sometimes (*) can cloud the judgement of everyone on board, sometimes a few people can think clearly. I wonder if this could've been used more. * It's nice that (*) is established as not all-powerful early on. While it can influence things a large distance away, maintaining power over hundreds of people at all times is hard and a few people will think clearly from time to time. * Some nice Klingon sayings are told for the first time here. Particularly "Only a fool fights in a burning house." The Fiver Chekov: Wow, there's no indication that there was ever a colony here at all! Kirk: Whoever did this must have cover-up technology on par with the ancient race who planted all those dinosaur bones in the soil of Earth! McCoy: You mean the Deithons of Geocentrus VII? Kirk: Yeah, those guys. Could we have an explanation for this reference? Uhura: I don't understand it! We've lost all reception, my hail to Starfleet was dropped, and they haven't credited us a bonus anytime minute! Another time capsule joke, hehe.... Kang: (over the comm) Ha! We now control engineering and life support. Say goodbye to your precious "oxygen". Kirk: Er, don't Klingons breath oxygen as well? Kang: Nonsense! We can survive on pure élan! "Elan" seems like a big word for a Klingon. Mara must've bought him word-of-the-day toilet paper... Memory Alpha * Only appearance of a Klingon woman. * Only appearance in TOS of intraship beaming. Nitpickers Guide * Kang claims that Klingons have no devil. Phil points out Fek'lhr from "Devil's Due" as a contradiction. Memory Alpha describes him as merely the guardian of Gre'thor, but that does raise the question of who's his boss. * First appearance of more than six people beaming up simultaneously, although they materialized in two batches due to Kirk's warning. I argue that it's not inconceivable that the transporter chamber could be transformed into one huge "pad", albeit with greater energy requirements, for mass evacuations.
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mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
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#3
11-03-2018, 06:06 PM
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My 5MV webpages My novel fivers list Yup “There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct.” -- Isto Combs
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#4
11-05-2018, 11:36 AM
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United Earth Space Probe Agency. I've brought up UESPA often enough in these posts.
United Earth Space Force sounds more like a Flash Gordon thing, frankly.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
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#5
11-08-2018, 11:59 AM
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November 8th, 1968, "For The World is Hollow And I Have Touched the Sky"
Fiver (by Nic) Transcript Memory Alpha The Episode Another episode with great character work and acting, but absolutely awful science and plot holes that could be fixed through dialogue without spending a cent. * So one second the asteroid is blocking whatever's behind it, and the next minute Spock knows it's hollow? At least throw in a line about having to recalibrate the sensors to compensate for Macguffinite! * Another episode where the Prime Directive is theoretically at its strictest, yet it's okay for our heroes to waltz in. We aren't even told that the natives were scanned from afar to confirm that they look human enough for our heroes to pass for natives. No disguise for Spock. No replication of native clothing. And if the outer asteroid is two hundred miles across, the inner core can't be all that big; the population must be small enough for everyone to know everyone. So even IF our heroes did all they could to look like natives, they'd still be identified as strangers. Merely beaming down is a Prime Directive violation! * One wonders how many dead languages Spock has memorized. But here's the thing: how can the Federation know the language in the first place? They didn't know about the asteroid ships and the planet was destroyed ten thousand years ago! Did the Fabrini have allies who recorded the history and language for future generations, but neglected to mention the asteroid ships? The Fiver Uhura: Transmitting on all subspace frequencies -- "Position of Annoying Talking Human on Starship Enterprise now vacant. Medical skills would be appreciated." Pulaski: (over the comm) You called? Ha ha. She doesn't like transporters, but time machines are apparently okay? Also, it seems that Braxton runs a staffing agency in his spare time, routing job postings to the best candidates no matter where in time they may be, hehe... Spock: Aw. I know what will cheer you up - our 56th weekly cup of tea! McCoy: Thanks, Spock. (picks a cup) Spock: Um, no. Here, this one is yours. Is this a reference to something? McCoy: Pink cylinders... Who built this thing? The Teletubbies? Spock: It's a strong possibility. Kirk: But I think a nuclear powered spaceship is beyond even them. McCoy: True, true. Although they are very resourceful. Kirk: An advanced, very dangerous species. Another joke time capsule, wow. Oracle: Oracle's Message of the Day #1 - Potatoes make you stupid. Is this a reference to something? Spock: It appears these people are completely unaware they live on a spaceship. Natira: We do not live on a spaceship! Our world is a flat board held by a giant turtle. Kirk: Suuure. And what holds the giant turtle? Natira: Another giant turtle. Spock: And what holds her? Natira: You can't fool me! It's turtles, turtles, turtles, all the way down! Traditionally the World Turtle has the Earth as a hemisphere sitting on four elephants standing on the turtle. Old Man: It's difficult to grow food on a spaceship. We have dogs, though. Spock: What did you say? You know about the spaceship? Kirk: Make it a poodle. And get me some chili. Is this an Enterprise joke? Oracle: Oracle's Message of the Day #2 - Do not meddle in the affairs of the Oracle, for thou art crunchy and taste good with strawberry pie. Why strawberry pie and not ketchup, as is traditional with this joke? Oracle: Oracle's Message of the Day #3 - I could totally kick Microsoft's butt. Another time capsule, and that's a pretty obscure geek joke to boot! Kirk: To disable... the Oracle... logically convince it to self-destruct. Oh, how very original. Spock: Just... do it! Kirk: Um... um... Episode II: Attack of the Clones! Oracle: NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Now there's high humor density. And prequel jokes will never get obscure! Memory Alpha * I never noticed the design of the reader tube, or even the term. I thought that when McCoy needed a handheld scanner, he used one of the futuristic salt shaker props.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
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#6
11-15-2018, 12:41 PM
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November 15th, 1968, "The Tholian Web"
No fiver Transcript Memory Alpha The Episode * Once again, good character work, horrible science. Another pass through the script by a scientific advisor could've tweaked the language to be more consistent and accurate. * I don't understand why Kirk told McCoy about the sealed orders, but not Spock. Furthermore, it hardly seemed like the time to watch the video. And why would Kirk assume that he would die during a crisis that would be continuing while the orders were watched? * The Tholian Web is a great idea, too bad we don't really see it again. I do remember a cool screensaver of a web being made back in the Windows 95 days. (Being reminded of that After Dark screensaver, enjoy some others: Spock and Horta, Tunneling Horta, Data dances) Memory Alpha * First appearance of the more traditional TOS spacesuit, replacing the ugly orange beekeeper suits from "The Naked Time." I still think they look ugly, but they reappear in other media. * The only time Spock calls McCoy "Bones." * The Defiant was not among the original list of starship names from the early series bibles. * Kirk's funeral features the largest group of crewman in one place in the series. * The Defiant crewmembers wear standard Enterprise mission patches (the Cochrane delta). When Enterprise revisits this episode the Defiant is given a unique mission patch. * The mutiny in "This Side of Paradise" is mentioned as a contradiction to Spock's statement, along with Garth's crew. I'll forgive TSOP because of external influence, but Garth can only be explained by him not being on a Constitution-class ship and that being the definition of "starship" implied. A slippery slope to be sure. Nitpickers Guide * Spock clearly lied at the end of the episode, and it wasn't in the pursuit of his duties or while under alien influence either. Oops. * Chekov seems in on the joke about Spock and McCoy "not" watching Kirk's orders, when he shouldn't know anything about it. Oops. * Kirk is given a hypo through his spacesuit. Doesn't seem very durable against the vacuum of space, does it? You'd think they could've taken off a glove or built a special hypo port into the suit, right?
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
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#7
11-22-2018, 12:04 PM
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Usually I push Thanksgiving episodes a day to either side, but not this time. Let's just say that I've got a wonky work schedule and have some time this year.
November 22nd, 1968, "Plato's Stepchildren" Fiver (by Derek) Transcript Memory Alpha The Episode As usual, good character work, plot holes you can fly a starship through. It's almost like these things were make in the pre-home video era when they were only meant to entertain people for an hour without any thought to such impossible things like "the Internet" or "fan conventions." Gasp! * Are we here to respond to a distress call, or search for kironide? That seems like two different missions. * Would this place being a previously unknown Earth colony affect the plot in any way? It would certainly be simpler. The whole Plato thing seems to only exist for the sake of the episode title. We've seen parallel development of weirder things than Ancient Greece before. * Only 38 people? Even if they could somehow breed out all genetic disorders, you'd want more than that if only for more people to talk to. And even if 90% of everything is automated, you still need people to oil things and change fuses, right? * A mass eugenics program that produced people so fragile that a cut can be fatal? Seems counter intuitive to me. * The common cold is mentioned as not yet curable. It will be cured sometime between 2355 (Tom Paris had it at the age of nine, "Cathexis") and 2364 (Wesley claims that colds are something that people used to have, "The Battle"). Was Tom one of the last cases? * I like that Alexander doesn't want the power because he doesn't want to be lazy and useless. * The infamous interracial kiss has been covered enough elsewhere, I don't think there's anything to add. The Fiver Mr. Big's Shadow: Have you killed Moose and Squirrel? Kirk: Huh? Alexander: Sorry, wrong 1960s show. I'm confused by the Rocky and Bullwinkle reference. Mr. Big was voiced by Bill Scott, not Michael Dunn. As Dunn played Loveless on the original Wild Wild West, you'd think a reference to that would be more appropriate. Alexander: I'm not even better than Philana due to her powers. Kirk: I bet Chekov would love to meet these telekinetics. I bet he could best her. I don't get the joke. Philana's actress, Barbra Babcock, was also in a number of other TOS episodes, but no roles that had any particular connection to Chekov. Philana: To you and your fellowship we present gifts. Kirk: Galadriel you're not. Philana: Are you sure? We even have our own Hobbit. The Lord of the Rings films were released in 2001-2003, and the fiver was published in 2005. I feel old. Spock: Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha! I'm the laughing Vulcan! Alexander: I think I can make a song about that. Do you have a dog? Time to link to the song again. Parmen: And now let's have some entertainment while we induct McCoy into our group. Spock: (singing) Bilbo, Bilbo, Bilbo Baggins. The bravest little hobbit of them all! Alexander: Sniff. That song really touches me. Hey look, another song! Nitpickers Guide * Kirk's line "I guess we weren't sufficiently entertaining" was used by a station to advertise that TNG would join TOS in a programming block. Hehe. * Where did McCoy get kironide so quickly to inject into the crew?
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate. Zeke: It comes nateurally to him. mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea. Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity. Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own! Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity. Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
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