![]() |
#21
|
|||
|
|||
![]()
[color=#000000
![]() ![]() |
#22
|
||||
|
||||
![]()
[quote
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() [color=#000000 ![]() The movie [i ![]() ![]() ![]()
__________________
"Please, Aslan," said Lucy, "what do you call soon?" "I call all times soon," said Aslan; and instantly he vanished away and Lucy was alone with the Magician. |
#23
|
||||
|
||||
![]()
[color=#000000
![]() ![]() [quote ![]() Neo: Okay. So, now we're back in the Matrix, I see. Morpheus: You mean you haven't caught on to the green-versus-blue thing yet? Neo: What green-versus-blue thing? Morpheus: Sigh. I brought you here to test a system where we make any nearby Agents appear to be wearing red, but some --- --- tells me that you and color-coding don't mix. Neo: Any Agents around here should be in red, huh? That's handy to know. Hey, check out that cutie in red! I wish I had her number! Agent: Sigh. Does he [i ![]() ![]() Morpheus: Surprising, isn't it?[/quote ![]() Those who have seen the movie in question can fill in the blanks for themselves. ![]() ![]()
__________________
My 5MV webpages My novel fivers list Yup “There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct.” -- Isto Combs |
#24
|
|||
|
|||
![]()
[color=#000000
![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Can't exactly remember the name of the kid who programmed the lady in the red dress. Don't sue, Zeke, I'll provide royalties ![]() ![]() |
#25
|
||||
|
||||
![]()
[color=#000000
![]() Neo: Hey look, its that woman in the blue dress. Morpheus: That is Monica, and she is dangerous. Monica: Indeed I am *hits Neo on the head* ----------------------------------------------------- Morpheus: The Matrix is a dangerous place. Anyone still plugged in can become an agent. Neo: Hey look, its the hot chick in the red dress. Morpheus: Careful Neo, she could be dangerous. Neo: Nah, she looks so innocent. Morpheus: The lesson you should learn today is to always be on the look out for.... *Neo runs into a pole* Morpheus:...poles. Neo: Poles? I thought it was agents. Morpheus: First we must work on the poles, then the agents.[/color ![]()
__________________
NeoMatrix\'s Livejournal My Myspace Page 5MV Story Website (Updated: February 16th, 2006) |
#26
|
|||
|
|||
![]()
[color=#000000
![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() |
#27
|
||||
|
||||
![]()
[color=#000000
![]() ![]() (A stunning woman in a red dress passes close to Neo) Neo: Wow! *gasp* Morpheus: Neo, Neo, Neo. Already you're being swayed by those silk lips. If you keep that up, odds are you won't live to see tomorrow. Neo: Silk lips? *gasp* What lips? I'm being suffocated by that awful stench she's giving off. Is she wearing napalm or something? Agent Orange: Errm, not exactly... Neo: Yikes!*** Morpheus: Relax, silly. We're still on the holodeck. Neo: You mean someone programmed this? So why is a guy named Orange wearing red? Morpheus: Because the red ones are my favorite.[/quote ![]() ***End the scene here to shorten it. Morpheus's opening monologue can be cut drastically too. [i ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
__________________
My 5MV webpages My novel fivers list Yup “There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct.” -- Isto Combs |
#28
|
||||
|
||||
![]()
[color=#000000
![]() ![]() ![]() I don't know, NAHT, but they're starting to get annoying, mainly because the only songs I know are from Broadway musicals, barbershop quartets, and Gilbert and Sullivan operettas. So all is I see is bizarre, contrived, nonsensical lines. AND they're really long. ![]() We really don't seem to be finding anything catchy, do we? Taya's last one ("They're [i ![]() ![]() ![]()
__________________
Sal: Where\'s he goin\'? Joyce: To get his nachitos back from the aliens. Sal: What? By himself? --It\'s Walky!, David Willis |
#29
|
||||
|
||||
![]()
[color=#000000
![]() ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() (She morphs into an Agent) [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() If Morpheus' "That's why" line isn't clear (if the woman wasn't wearing anything, the Agent wouldn't be either), I'm open to suggestions.[/color ![]()
__________________
\"It\'s all fun and games until one of you gets my foot up your ass.\" --Veronica Mars |
#30
|
||||
|
||||
![]()
[color=#000000
![]() And the reason my suggestions are so long is that they are just brainstorms. I'm just throwing whatever jokes I can think of out there for consideration, incidentally trying to integrate them into a whole scene so they have some kind of context. They're usually meant to be picked apart for any bits you all might particularly like. (Edit)Plus sometimes I have a good idea for a joke, but I don't know how I should condense it to proper length. So I try to lay out what I'm getting at so that others can have a chance at improving it. Sorry about the confusingness, Standback. I'm kinda surprised at all these songs that mention a woman wearing either a color or a dress in their titles. Have I stumbled upon a new subgenre here...? :suspicious: Morpheus: Agents are almost impossible to beat in a fight. But with the proper preparation, Neo, I think you can beat them. Neo: Ha, of course I can! I'll kick their butts and send them crying home to their mothers! I totally rock now that I know kung-- Woman: (turns into an Agent) Boo. Neo: EEEEK! *I want my mommy!* Agent: Wimp.[/color ![]()
__________________
My 5MV webpages My novel fivers list Yup “There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct.” -- Isto Combs |
#31
|
||||
|
||||
![]()
[color=#000000
![]() Neo: Why do I get that odd feeling when you said that Agent Smith: Hello Mr. Anderson Neo: For the last time, call me Neo! N-E-O! Is that so hard for you to remember? Next time, im going to kick your ass. Morpheus: Neo! Neo: See, Morpheus knows my name.[/color ![]()
__________________
NeoMatrix\'s Livejournal My Myspace Page 5MV Story Website (Updated: February 16th, 2006) |
#32
|
|||
|
|||
![]()
[color=#000000
![]() ![]() ![]() |
#33
|
||||
|
||||
![]()
[color=#000000
![]() ![]() |
#34
|
||||
|
||||
![]()
[color=#000000
![]() Woman in a Red Dress: [i ![]() ![]() Neo: AAAHH! Run, she's an Agent! [i ![]() ![]() Woman in a Red Dress: What's with *him*? Morpheus: Beats me. I guess he just didn't want to be bugged.[/color ![]()
__________________
My 5MV webpages My novel fivers list Yup “There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct.” -- Isto Combs |
#35
|
||||
|
||||
![]()
[color=#000000
![]() ![]()
__________________
NeoMatrix\'s Livejournal My Myspace Page 5MV Story Website (Updated: February 16th, 2006) |
#36
|
|||
|
|||
![]()
[color=#000000
![]() ![]() ![]() |
#37
|
||||
|
||||
![]()
[color=#000000
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]()
__________________
Sal: Where\'s he goin\'? Joyce: To get his nachitos back from the aliens. Sal: What? By himself? --It\'s Walky!, David Willis |
#38
|
|||
|
|||
![]()
[color=#000000
![]() "Standback is always right. I will listen to Standback. I will not ignore Standback's recommendations. Standback is God. And if he ever has to remind you, Standback will personally rip your lungs out!" [b ![]() ![]() Oops. ![]() ![]() |
#39
|
||||
|
||||
![]()
[color=#000000
![]() Morpheus: As we walk through this deliberately monochrome city, try not to notice the very obvious woman in the red dress. Neo: No worries. I'm too busy looking at that woman in the red -- D'OH! Morpheus: Neo! Don't look at the woman in the red dress! Neo: What? Why not? Morpheus: Because the red ones are my [i ![]() ![]() Neo: Okay. So, now we're back in the Matrix, I see. Morpheus: You mean you haven't caught on to the green-versus-blue thing yet? Neo: What green-versus-blue thing? Morpheus: The lesson you should learn today is to always be on the look out for.... *Neo runs into a pole* Morpheus:...poles. Neo: Poles? I thought it was agents. Morpheus: First we must work on the poles, then the agents. Neo: How bad can it be? Â It's not like I'll ever have to fight a hundred of them at a time or something. Neo: Ha, of course I can! I'll kick their butts and send them crying home to their mothers! I totally rock now that I know kung-- Woman: (turns into an Agent) Boo. Neo: EEEEK! *I want my mommy!* Woman in a Red Dress: (speaking to Neo) Excuse me, I don't want to bug you, but could you tell me-- Neo: AAAHH! Run, she's an Agent! (takes off into the crowd) Woman in a Red Dress: What's with *him*? Morpheus: Beats me. I guess he just didn't want to be bugged. Maybe something like this: Neo: So now we're back in the Matrix, I see. Morpheus: You mean you haven't caught on to the green-versus-blue thing yet? Neo: What green-versus-blue thing? Morpheus: Sigh. Just try not to notice the very obvious woman in the red dress, okay? Neo: No worries. I'm too busy looking at that woman in the red -- D'OH! Agent: Does he [i ![]() ![]() Morpheus: You've obviously never seen [i ![]() ![]() ![]()
__________________
My 5MV webpages My novel fivers list Yup “There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct.” -- Isto Combs |
#40
|
||||
|
||||
![]()
[color=#000000
![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() Rest easy. You were far too late to make a difference in the first place. Although my preference for the last line would be "And if he ever has to remind you, Standback will send at you the entire army of Emperor Ka-Zor's mighty hellhounds!" I don't like that "personally" business; I'm a busy guy.[/color ![]()
__________________
Sal: Where\'s he goin\'? Joyce: To get his nachitos back from the aliens. Sal: What? By himself? --It\'s Walky!, David Willis |
![]() |
|
|