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![]() 4. When an unknown virus is brought aboard the ship on their way back to earth, the crew starts acting odd. Among the more strange things that occur, is that the crew experience the feeling of being drunk, although they have yet to ingest sufficient alcohol to do so, even while on duty. Oh yes, they also forget to silence Mayweather when realizes he has a spine and starts to speak up for himself. Eventually the virus is cured, but Phlox decides to label the thing PSI-1998, mainly because of the number of tests it took to find a cure. 3. In one timeline where the [i ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() 2. In an alternate reality, the peaceful Xindi Counsel manages to get Mayweather more then his allottment of lines, and "convinces" Archer and the rest of the paranoid Counsel from Earth to not launch the weapon. This agreement lasts until the Earth Counsel manages to stop Mayweather from getting extra lines, but by then it's too late and the batteries in the weapon run dry. NX-01 gets a new mission: Find the fabled Energizer Bunny and install his batteries in the weapon. The Xindi laugh at the feeble attempts to try to find the creature of legend, but they still manage to get Mayweather an additional line here and there, just for spite. and as for the final... 1. Although he is silenced with a vengence while onboard NX-01, he is just bidding his time until he can switch to his more successful persona: Morn. So who's doing the other one?[/color ![]() |
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![]() Gatac[/color ![]()
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Katy: Can I have the skill 'drive car off bridge and have parachute handy'? Justin: It's kind of a limited skill. Greg: Depends on how often you drive off bridges. - d02 Quotes |
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![]() ![]() Ahem: Top Ten Trek Characters Who Would Make Better Captains 10. Captain Chekov - First order of business: rename Enterprise into USS Leningrad. Second order of business: replicators distribute wodka, only wodka and nothing but the wodka. 9. Captain Troi of Deep Space Nine (a massive Dominion fleet of warships comes through the wormhole) "I am not sure, but I think I might be sensing danger!" 8. Captain Neelix of Enterprise NX-01 - In response to Xindi weapon attack on Earth, he attacks the Xindi homeworld with Leola Root Missiles. The Xindi surrender, groveling for mercy. 7. Captain Quark of USS Voyager "Oh, come on people, why can`t we all sell the Vidiians some organs? Some extra kidneys, huh, huh? They`ll pay well! And spleen! I mean, who needs spleen?" 6. Captain Seven of Nine "I`m taking command of the ship, effective immediately, solely because, as Captain, I am not allowed to have intimate relationships with members of my crew, therefore, NOBODY will force me into a relationship with the Rubber Tree Boy!" (Dammit, dammit, dammit... can`t remember anything else, brain shut down... OK, I hereby revoke the "writing full lists" directive. Stuff me with straw and burn me on the town square, ![]() ![]()
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\"Lord Eddard Stark is a proud, honourable, honest man, and his lady wife is worse.\" ~A Game of Thrones, book one of Song of Ice and Fire |
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\"Lord Eddard Stark is a proud, honourable, honest man, and his lady wife is worse.\" ~A Game of Thrones, book one of Song of Ice and Fire |
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![]() ![]() (a massive Dominion fleet of warships comes through the wormhole) "I am not sure, but I think I might be sensing danger!" 8. Captain Neelix of Enterprise NX-01 - In response to Xindi weapon attack on Earth, he attacks the Xindi homeworld with Leola Root Missiles. The Xindi surrender, groveling for mercy.[/quote ![]() It seemed like a good one to try, though I've probably been reading too much 5M Enterprise lately. *Jehoshaphat* You've been doing well in the Top Ten lists yourself there Nic. Top Ten Trek Characters Who Would Make Better Captains 5. Captain Wesley Crusher of Voyager: [b ![]() ![]() [b ![]() ![]() 4. Captain Phlox of Nightingale - "We're not really a medical transport. We're just trying to sneak this cloaking device past our enemies so we can beam up aliens from backwards worlds and experiment on them in secret." [b ![]() ![]() (Idea tank runs low) Someone with any ideas want to finish?[/color ![]() |
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![]() 3. Captain Charlie X. Riley: ...and then the Andorian said, "Not with my pig you won't!" Charlie: (rolls his eyes at Riley's terrible joke) Riley: GAK! Spock: Sigh. We lose more lieutenants that way. 2. Captain Jadzia Dax. O'Brien: The Cardiassian fighters are closing in on the station, Captain. What are your orders? Jadzia: Miles, chill out. You're giving me a muscle cramp in my neck. Say, Nerys, I could really go for a holosuite backrub--want to join me? Kira: Sounds good. Miles, watch the store for us, O.K.? O'Brien: Um, yeah, O.K. I'll just tell the Cardassians to hang loose for a while until you come back? Jadzia: That would be perfect. You're a real teddy bear, Miles. O'Brien: Um, thanks. 1. Captain Uhura. Uhura: Hail the approaching Gorn ship, slave. Kirk (sheepishly): Yes, sir. Hailing-- Uhura: [i ![]() ![]() Kirk (even more sheepishly): That you would staple my spleen to my big toe if I ever used them again. Sir. Uhura (settling into the captain's chair): That's right. Next: Top Ten Reasons Why Chef Doesn't Like to Show His Face[/color ![]()
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An updated list of all my online writing can be found here. Check it out. |
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![]() 10. Um, perhaps that unfortunate incident with a rice picker when he was young... 9. He really, really, really doesn't want Archer to recognize him as Mysterious Future Guy 8. The last time he did, several female ensigns fainted and Phlox had to distribute Pepto Bismol to the entire crew 7. The sight of him is thought to be enough to drive even a Vulcan First Officer mad (not that he plans to try it, of course). So he just sits in his closed box most of the time, wishing he could find a blind girl to be his assistant 6. He's Neighbor Wilson from "Home Improvement" Hmm, ran out of ideas. ![]() ![]()
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My 5MV webpages My novel fivers list Yup “There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct.” -- Isto Combs |
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![]() 4. He is a redshirt, and any screentime will cause the ship to lose their best chef 3. If the female crew members saw him, they might want to chase him all over the ship to get his autograph 2. He is an Ogre with a talking Donkey, which might cause some tension 1. The chef is really the imagination of the crew brought on by a potion released by Phlox. Next: Top Ten Hidden Talents of Star Trek Characters[/color ![]() |
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![]() 10. Data: Can talk Toaster. 9. Troi: Can state things that are not obvious, too. 8. Sisko: Can convince Archer he's the Evil Future Guy. 7. Worf: At age 19, won the Earth-Wide Lullaby Singer contest. 6. Seven of Nine: writes romance novels and their corresponding holoprograms. 5. Janeway: Can name every coffee bean ever...oh wait, this was HIDDEN talents... 4. Neelix: Could actually make one item, toast, correctly; but because of (see #10), no one was allowed to make toast on Starfleet ships. 3. Uhura: A world class violenist, mystery writer, opera singer, forensic detective, and vampire, erm, alien slayer. 2. Ezri: Can switch between the Universe and the Alternate Universe... 1. Porthos: Can speak Human, but prefer to bark cus it's fun to watch Archer try to speak Dog! Top Ten #1 Singles on Alien Worlds[/color ![]()
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George Orwell gives meaning to TopHatMan\'s life. Opium, Princess Heroine of Laudanum...Part of The Morphine Party: The Party For Not... Crushing... Me? :shock: Opium. Don\'t take drugs, just read them. Please vote Morphine! ![]() Needing more sleep since before 2003 |
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![]() 10. Janus VI: Hoobastank - Crawling in the Dark 9. Vulcan: Supertramp - The logical Song 8. Quo'nos: Steppenwolf - Born to be Wild 7. Romulus: Propellerheads - Spybreak! 6. Cardassia: Aimee Allen - I'd start a revolution (if I could get up in the morning) 5. Q Continuum: Monster Magnet - Space Lord 4. Borg Unimatrix 01: Filter - Welcome to the fold 3. Trill: Frank Sinatra - I've got you under my skin 2. Wolf 359: Ozzy Osbourne, DMX, Ol' Dirty Bastard - Nowhere to run 1. Earth in 2063: Foo Fighters - Learn to Fly Nearly all from my current playlist, too. Bah. I'm sure somebody can come up with one that is a bit more mainstream. Next Up: Top 10 Ways to Talk down an intelligent bomb. (Hey, it happens more often than you'd think.) Gatac[/color ![]()
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Katy: Can I have the skill 'drive car off bridge and have parachute handy'? Justin: It's kind of a limited skill. Greg: Depends on how often you drive off bridges. - d02 Quotes |
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Katy: Can I have the skill 'drive car off bridge and have parachute handy'? Justin: It's kind of a limited skill. Greg: Depends on how often you drive off bridges. - d02 Quotes |
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![]() 10. Convice Travolta to accept stock options so he doesn't make another bomb like Battle Field: Earth. 9. Given the frequency of bad movies being made, enstate a policy that any actor or actoress that makes a bomb must watch their own flick. Quality of movies should skyrocket quickly as quality will improve through either better quality control, or thinning of the ranks in hollywood. 8. Make Bill Gates watch shows like Barney, Teletubbies, and American Idol with his eyes taped open so he can't close them. By the time he losses him mind from the repetive viewings, he will be controllabe enough to make Windows and all affiliated software useable and stable enough to be understood by anyone. Oops, you said Intelligent. Not sure if this is what you meant, but hey...[/color ![]() |
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![]() 5. Eugene Levy: I don't think a movie starring the Olsen Twins will be that that good. Exec: Yes it will. Here, have some tea Eugene Levy: *drink tea* I feel funny... 4. Exec: But Ben, if you always make movies with Matt Damon people will start thinking you're a couple. Ben Affleck: But Matt and me make good movies together! Exec:But people will think you're a couple! 3. JLo: Ben, I think making a movie with both of us in it but not in love would be a good thing! 2. Danny Devito told Robin Williams that if he made a movie about a scary kids entertainer he would pay for Robin's laser bodyhair removal. 1. Q: Angelina Jolie, wouldn't you like to be a sex symbol again but pretend the movie is about a poor nation? A: Um, sure. *okay, those are all silly* Top Ten Silly Reasons *Insert Name Here* Watches Enterpise[/color ![]()
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George Orwell gives meaning to TopHatMan\'s life. Opium, Princess Heroine of Laudanum...Part of The Morphine Party: The Party For Not... Crushing... Me? :shock: Opium. Don\'t take drugs, just read them. Please vote Morphine! ![]() Needing more sleep since before 2003 |
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![]() 10. [b ![]() ![]() 9. [b ![]() ![]() 8. [b ![]() ![]() ![]() ![]() 7. [b ![]() ![]() ![]() 6. [b ![]() ![]() 5. [b ![]() ![]() ![]()
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Sal: Where\'s he goin\'? Joyce: To get his nachitos back from the aliens. Sal: What? By himself? --It\'s Walky!, David Willis |
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![]() ![]() ![]() Next up: Top Ten Qo'noS Tourism Slogans![/color ![]()
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Sal: Where\'s he goin\'? Joyce: To get his nachitos back from the aliens. Sal: What? By himself? --It\'s Walky!, David Willis |
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![]() 10. Come to Qo'nos! Become a warrior! Guaranteed to turn you into a warrior or we'll kill you in the process. 9. Qo'nos: Where Dishonor is a thing of the past.[/color ![]() |
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![]() 7. We got your Honor right here 6. Come here for a permament vacation from life.[/color ![]() |
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