#141
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten Ways To Tell The Borg Have Assimilated Humour:
10: The drone assimilating you has a gumball machine implant on its arm. 9: Bumper sticker on the cube that says "Honk if you're into leather." 8: Cutting-Beam-Of-DOOM replaced by a can opener on a stick. 7: Well-choreographed operations now become well-choreographed slapstick routines. 6: Every "Resistance is futile" pronouncement followed by a laugh track. 5: Seven wakes screaming from a dream of a drone wearing pink fuzzy bunny ears. 4: The once monotone Voice of the Collective now sounds like Jim Carrey on hyronalin. 3: Drone personal weapon implants now fire cream pies. 2: After every weapons discharge, the Voice says "Mmm, pie." 1: The assimilation of a species now involves reducing it to 1/12th of its initial population. Top Ten Over-used 5MV or Forum Cliches[/colorost_uid0]
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The first run through of any experimental procedure is to identify any potential errors by making them. |
#142
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[quoteost_uid0="Katy Jane"][color=#000000ost_uid0]1. The same they do every night Pinky, try to assimilate the universe![/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]As an old Pinky and the Brain fan I can't tell you hard hard I laughed at this :lol:[/colorost_uid0]
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An updated list of all my online writing can be found here. Check it out. |
#143
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten Over-used 5MV or Forum Cliches
10. "ZUUUUUUKE!" 9. List Item Number Nine Section *Under construction - for the last eight months* 8. This Just In - This reporter discovers that this reporter isn't real! 7. It's midges, NOT midgets! 6. Some poor chap called John gets killed every other post. 5. *THWAPS list item number five with the Hammer of Smiting* 4. "You must bring us a punnery!" 3. Every pie other pie word pie has pie to pie be pie the pie word pie pie. 2. Statement encapsulating list item number two in a humerous fashion. 1. I'll have the number one reason up soon, I promise. Top Ten Ways in which Five-Minute [iost_uid0]Dune[/iost_uid0] Would Mangle the Plot of the Original[/colorost_uid0]
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Mason: Luckily we at the Agency use use a high-tech piece of software that will let us spot him instantly via high-res satellite images. Sergeant: You can? That's amazing! Mason: Yes. We call it 'Google Earth'. - Five Minute 24 S1 (it lives, honest!) "Everybody loves pie!" - Spongebob Squarepants |
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten Ways in which Five-Minute Dune Would Mangle the Plot of the Original
Note: I've read Dune twice and ya know... I just don't like it... Then I got to the book where his son turns into a worm and well... 10. Not so much pedophelia 9. It would actually be pointed out that Paul inexplicably changes his mind about that entire Emporer thing. 8. The Worms would talk. 7. People wouldn't take 200 pages to make a decision 6. Out of necessity, long drawn out conversations about nothing would not be as long 5. There wouldn't be three hundred sequels, each one weirder than the next. 4. The symbolism stick which we are being hit with wouldn't be as prominent. 3. In five minutes there isn't enough time to describe the deaths of many, many characters in great detail. 2. Paul would be LESS whiny. 1.The author wouldn't go on drugs halfway through writing it. And because I'm a newbie... Top Ten Evil Secrets of the Forums[/colorost_uid0]
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See you, space cowboy. |
#145
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]There may well [iost_uid0]be[/iost_uid0] a Five-Minute Dune, btw. If so, it'll be by me.[/colorost_uid0]
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FiveMinute.net: because stuff is long and life is short [03:17] FiveMinZeke: Galactica clearly needs the advanced technology of scissors, which get around the whole "yanking on your follicles" problem. [03:17] IJD: cylons can hack any blades working in conjunction |
#146
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten Evil Secrets of the Forums
10. Clicking on certain permutations of smilies triggers the opening of one's hard drive and the extension of a cartoonish "Hammer of Newbie Smiting" which promptly whacks you over the head a dozen times. One such combination is :eyeroll: :swear: :zzz: --OW! OW! OW! I didn't mean i--OW!... ...ooooh. Okay, I'm back. 9. We have Chili Cookoffs every other Friday 8. Zuke is really Zeke from an Alternate Evil Universe Of Great Evilness 7. NAHTMMM is really NAHTMMM from an Alternate Funky Universe of Great Weirdness 6. When you rearrange the forums' titles in a certain way and read the results backward, you find a subliminal message commanding you to pledge allegiance to coconuts. Or possibly crocodiles. We're not quite sure yet. 5. Certain forumgoers are currently working on a Secret Plan of Evil involving world dominance via pie missile launchers. They don't want it to be publicly known, though, and they're pretty violent about making sure it isn't, so I wouldn't let on I knew about it if I were you... [iost_uid0]*knock*[/iost_uid0] Whoops, that's the door. Hold on a minute. [iost_uid0]*Leaves* *from far away*[/iost_uid0] Oh, hi there, funny you came by just now, er, what's that in your...erm...aahhh! No! Nooo, not the pecan pi--[iost_uid0]*SPLAT!*[/iost_uid0] Arggghh! :dead: 4. The above was [iost_uid0]not[/iost_uid0] a dramatization. 3. Doctors have proven that users can become incurably addicted to these fora in as few as (pie)*log("soon") days 2. There are people who actually know how many days the above refers to, but they're too meanie to tell the rest of us :crying: 1. [this rubbish has been deleted by the FBI, CIA, AFL-CIO, [bost_uid0]AND[/bost_uid0] the Temporal Police. It was lies, all lies, we tell you! Seriously!] (This list has inspired me to write a TJI. A crazy TJI, with a brilliant concept but probably meh execution. Be afraid. ) Next: Top Ten Results of a Star Trek - Looney Tunes Crossover[/colorost_uid0]
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My 5MV webpages My novel fivers list Yup “There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct.” -- Isto Combs |
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]:lol: The truth has finaly been reveiled [imgost_uid0]http://img14.photobucket.com/albums/v43/katyjane/emoticons/notworthy.gif[/imgost_uid0][/colorost_uid0]
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Vulcan children are never late with their Sehlat's dinner |
#148
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[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0="Standback"]5. Growing senile, stealing items 7 and 1 from Scooter's list[/quoteost_uid0]
Actually, #7 was mine. [/colorost_uid0] |
#149
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[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]2. There are people who actually know how many days the above refers to, but they're too meanie to tell the rest of us[/quoteost_uid0]
[uost_uid0]+[/uost_uid0]47. Or 4.7.[/colorost_uid0]
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~Bachelor of Science Marijke I'm not the devil, I just work for her. What spoon? There is no spoon. According to Zeke, it's a cat. ~NeoMatrix "Apparently we're on the wrong side. Or the right side if you like winning." ~Spike Sa'ar Chasm: Too far south you hit Belgium. catalina marina: Not in Limburg you don't. Sa'ar Chasm: You do if you go south in the right way. |
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[color=#000000ost_uid0][bost_uid0]Top Ten Results of a Star Trek - Looney Tunes Crossover[/bost_uid0]
10. Mayhem. Lots and lots of mayhem. 9. "Be wewy, wewy, quiet! I'm hunting Womulans!" 8. When consoles explode, the redshirt doesn't die, but just turns into a smoking, blinking black crisp. 7. As a matter of fact, no matter how many times you crush, explode or drop the same redshirt down the side of thousand foot cliffs, he's always back, whole and perfect, in the very next scene. 6. The Enterprise bears an overlarge ACME logo on its nacelles. 5. Paris starts addressing the Doctor with "What's up, Doc?" and chews on carrots. 4. Alternate ending to Endgame: When being pursued by the Borg, Janeway uses the deflector dish to paint a wormhole on the side of a sun. Voyager goes through it and ends up in the Alpha Quadrant, whilst the pursing Borg ship gets fried to the crisp in the sun's core. 3. B'Elanna has a bad habit of turning into a whirling tornado and destroying every inch of Engineering when she's in a bad mood. 2. When Kirk punches someone, he doesn't fall over, but instead develops a series of hairline cracks, then crashes to the ground in pieces. And the #1 result of a Star Trek - Looney Tunes Crossover: 1. Garibaldi becomes a die-hard Trekkie and converts the entire crew of B5 to his new fandom. They then lose the Shadow War spectacularly because everyone was too tied up arguing the fine points of DS9 plots. And because my ego is having way too much fun today: Top Ten Changes That Would Be Made If 17 Took Over The World[/colorost_uid0] |
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[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]9. "Be wewy, wewy, quiet! I'm hunting Womulans!"[/quoteost_uid0]
LOL And redshirts [iost_uid0]not[/iost_uid0] dying? Talk about cartoons reversing the laws of physics...[/colorost_uid0]
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Sal: Where\'s he goin\'? Joyce: To get his nachitos back from the aliens. Sal: What? By himself? --It\'s Walky!, David Willis |
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten Changes That Would Be Made If 17 Took Over The World
10. There would be 47 countries each with 47 provinces. 9. Minbari would be the capital of the world. 8.There would be no such thing as "Buffyverse" 7. She would be married to John. 6. Every man would be named John. 5. Every man would look like John. 3. The only 'ship would be John/Delenn. 2. It would be a "Top-17 List". 1. She would be the Prime Minbari of Everything And next... Top Ten Trek(any Trek) Episodes Opium Would Be in (hehehe)[/colorost_uid0]
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George Orwell gives meaning to TopHatMan\'s life. Opium, Princess Heroine of Laudanum...Part of The Morphine Party: The Party For Not... Crushing... Me? :shock: Opium. Don\'t take drugs, just read them. Please vote Morphine! (Thanks, Zeke!) Needing more sleep since before 2003 |
#153
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[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]7. She would be married to John.[/quoteost_uid0]
Are you sure that's not supposed to be "She would be married to Delenn"?[/colorost_uid0]
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~Bachelor of Science Marijke I'm not the devil, I just work for her. What spoon? There is no spoon. According to Zeke, it's a cat. ~NeoMatrix "Apparently we're on the wrong side. Or the right side if you like winning." ~Spike Sa'ar Chasm: Too far south you hit Belgium. catalina marina: Not in Limburg you don't. Sa'ar Chasm: You do if you go south in the right way. |
#154
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Bwaahahaha. Cat, you're right. You know me too well. [/colorost_uid0]
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#155
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]There's no way of knowing someone "too well"
Information is power. [/colorost_uid0]
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~Bachelor of Science Marijke I'm not the devil, I just work for her. What spoon? There is no spoon. According to Zeke, it's a cat. ~NeoMatrix "Apparently we're on the wrong side. Or the right side if you like winning." ~Spike Sa'ar Chasm: Too far south you hit Belgium. catalina marina: Not in Limburg you don't. Sa'ar Chasm: You do if you go south in the right way. |
#156
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]And mis-information is antipower. Put information and misinformation together, and you'll get massive amounts of energy for seemingly nothing.[/colorost_uid0]
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#157
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]I just noticed there are two lists dedicated to the Top Hat Man...beat that, John Sheridan! And Delenn. And...um. yah.
BTW, the current topic is: Top Ten Trek(any Trek) Episodes Opium Would Be in[/colorost_uid0]
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George Orwell gives meaning to TopHatMan\'s life. Opium, Princess Heroine of Laudanum...Part of The Morphine Party: The Party For Not... Crushing... Me? :shock: Opium. Don\'t take drugs, just read them. Please vote Morphine! (Thanks, Zeke!) Needing more sleep since before 2003 |
#158
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Who [iost_uid0]is[/iost_uid0] the Top Hat Man?[/colorost_uid0]
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FiveMinute.net: because stuff is long and life is short [03:17] FiveMinZeke: Galactica clearly needs the advanced technology of scissors, which get around the whole "yanking on your follicles" problem. [03:17] IJD: cylons can hack any blades working in conjunction |
#159
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Moving back a bit...
This is just based on your profile, Opium, but here's a shot at it, in no particular order: The Top Ten Trek Episodes Opium Would Be In 10. TOS "The Way to Eden" 9. TOS "The Conscience of the King" 8. TOS "The Day of the Dove" 7. TNG "The Emissary" 6. TNG "Qpid" 5. TNG "Journey's End" 4. DS9 "The Storyteller" 3. DS9 "Return to Grace" 2. VOY "Heroes and Demons" 1. VOY "The Gift" I just did this so I can suggest the topic for the next Top Ten List -- and because I was beaten to the Looney Tune one, but the entry that made it was better than mine, so it really doesn't matter... Next Top Ten list: Top Ten Rejected Pickup Lines of Captain Kirk[/colorost_uid0]
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Today, do not anger; do not worry; be thankful; work diligently; be kind to others. |
#160
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[quoteost_uid0="Zeke"][color=#000000ost_uid0]There may well [iost_uid0]be[/iost_uid0] a Five-Minute Dune, btw. Â If so, it'll be by me.[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]I've probably asked this before, but if so then I've forgotten the answer. Lynch version or SFC mini-series? Or both?[/colorost_uid0]
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Mason: Luckily we at the Agency use use a high-tech piece of software that will let us spot him instantly via high-res satellite images. Sergeant: You can? That's amazing! Mason: Yes. We call it 'Google Earth'. - Five Minute 24 S1 (it lives, honest!) "Everybody loves pie!" - Spongebob Squarepants |
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