Group Adaptive Story - Like the onebyone story, only stranger.

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Well, PHJ had just about to come up with a brilliant plan when Picard ripped a loud fart, but he blamed it on one of the Jakes, who then blamed it on another Jake. All the Jakes began blaming another Jake for the fart. They got in a big fight. Picard stepped in and told them of a challege. "There only needs to be one Jake, so we are going to have a big phaser fight to see who the one Jake will be." Picard set all 17 phasers to Kill and gave them to each of the Jakes. Picard beamed himself and PHJ to a safe position and announced the start of the fight. Every Jake scrambled for cover while trying to kill off each other. It was a long battle eventless battle because nobody was moving from their spot.[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]((not part of the story...but uh...all the Jakes except OriginalJake (OJake) are bunnies, so Picard has got one crappy army, except agaist Anya ...okay, so its just nuts to mention that, but I'm all stuffed up and high on cough medicine....)[/colorost_uid0]

[AKAArzosah]

[color=#000000ost_uid0](you brought back the Jakes in your third last post... I am trying to make sense of this? Am I insane? Yes. Oh. OK then.)[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]And thus was begun The War of the 17 Jakes.
Suddenly, somebody exclaimed out loud, "By gum! Jake 17 is missing!"
"Where could he have gone to?" wondered Picard, just as huge flying saucers appeared in the sky...


(Insane? Aren't we all? WHOO HOO!)[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]((okay,maybe the cold was worse than I thought...I dont remember bringing the jakes back, yet there they are! :O ))
((and now for our story...))


17 flying saucers landed on 17 launch pads. Finally, OJake pulled out his trusty typewriter and began to write. He turned the war into a subplot, and made Legolas Turner and Jack Sparrow's takeover the main plot. Â He made Jake 17 remote-control the saucer to launch pies, tea cups and coffee 17 at a time, and play LOTR and POTR 17 times each at a time, so that all computer signals become filled with POTRLOTR goodness amd mezmerized everyone. Tara, AUEzri, Xander, Willow and Anya formed a five-way protection spell, to prevent any serious injuries, but not before Legolas Turner was adorably covered in pie. The spell broke, however, because Willow couldnt help watching Legolas on the computer AND in real life. OJake tried a different tactic, mainly, having the saucers malfunction. Legolas Turner then asked Jake 17 for a frienly duel to make up for the pie...[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]... but his request was interrupted by a very large orange meringue in the act of exploding.

Covered in meringue bits, 17 howled, "I think the story's just got out of hand again! JAAAAAAAKE!"[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"Cant you forumgoers write ANYTHING without me?" asked OJake. Everyone shook their heads. Jake began to write.
Legolas Turner, angered by the pie, took out his sword and his bow, and handed his sword to Jack Sparrow. Jake17 tried to send a message for the saucers to send out more pie, but Jack Sparrow expertly thwapped him on his head with the flat part of the sword. When Jake17 tried to get up, Legolas Turner shot a barrage of arrows, pinning Jake17 to ground without hurting him. Willow got out her trusty laptop and sent a virus out into the saucers, causing them all to explode, as 17 John Sheridan's parachuted out. However, they landed in Angel's puddle of tears, and all drowned.
Suddenly, Quark Snyder called out, "NOOOOO! I never got to tell you..."[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]... I love you, John!"

The 17 John Sheridans promptly revived to puke their guts out, before subsequently dying again.

"Oh, very funny, Jake," said 17 in annoyance. "I suppose you'll be writing William Shatner's hairpiece into this next, eh?"

OJake grinned and looked guilty. "Errr... heh heh."[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Before everyone could giggle at OJake though,
"Look! Look at all these tribbles raining down!" said Picard as 17 light brown, 17 medium brown, and 17 red-brown Tribbles fell from the sky. Everyone gasped. Worf ran in from the chartrues green room, yelling various profanities. But then...
"Hey, these arent Tribbles, these are hair pieces!" said Xander."OJake, how could you DO this?" OJake wrote furiusly. Three teenagers walked in.
"Hello, I'm Harry, this is Hermione and Ron" said Harry.
"Oh, this is a Sci-Fi Confergence!" squeeled Hermione.
"Hi, I'm Legolas Turner. You may know me from varius slash fics that have us together." said Legolas Turner, as everyone gasped.[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"Hey hey hey," yelled an irate forumgoer. "No mention of slash here, alright?"

"Does anyone realize that we are no nearer to getting out of this mess than we were, say, five pages ago?" asked Opium.

"Isn't that more or less the bloody point?" OJake replied, writing furiously. It started raining random Minbari.

"Ouch," said Hermione, as a random Minbari warrior landed head-first on Ron, "that has got to hurt."[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"Look, what do you people expect?" said an irate OJake,"I mean, really now, there's implied everything, random tribbles, spoons, not to mention Mary Sue's!"
"We are not ALL Mary Sue's" said Opium, who had been re-stringing Legolas Turner's bow and shining Jack Sparrow's sword," I am the props mistress for this fanfic!"
"Right, look, why dont we all just calm down and have some tea while I look at Ron's wound?" said Tara.
"YAY, TEA!" said Hermione, Harry, Giles, Buffy and Spike.
"When did you become British, Buffy?" asked a forumgoer.
"When I got with Spike, of course." replied Buffy.
"SEE! THIS is what I'm talking about!" yelled an even more irate OJake.[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]17 gave OJake a funny look. "This is what WHAT is all about? I mean, that is what this is all about? I mean, er... ARGH!"
The other forumgoers turned and gave 17 a funny look, then looked at OJake. "Have you done something to her again?"
"Well," said OJake, "she DID start this, didn't she? She deserves some punishment! So I decided to...[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"...first put her with Quark Snyder, but that didnt work. So now, oh yes now, I am having all 17 clones in love with her!" continued OJake.
"There must be a reason you havent written us out of this yet!" said Jack Sparrow," There are five BTVSwitches, 3 powerful teenage wizards/witches, and this Quark Snyder bloke who should be able to buy himself out of anything, or guilt anyone into submission. But no. Why is that?"
Hermione, Ron and Harry all had the same idea-they put a Truth Charm on OJake.
"It's that, well, I like it here. I dont have much of career, and I miss Ezri, and Quark Snyder, and all you other folks are just swell" said OJake, "And also, I love on of you here..."[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"No," gasped 17, "you can't be in love with...."
"Opium," OJake sadly confessed.
The 17 Jake clones started laughing their heads off. "Hey," protested OJake. "You're my clones, you're supposed to be sympathethic to my cause!"
Hermione shook her head. "Who would have thought!"[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"Hey! 'Sad'? 'Laughing' How dare you!" said Opium, and suddenly, all 17 Jake clones, and of course Taya17, fell in love with Quark Snyder. "Well, at least Jake isnt QS!
Taya17 became cvery distuaght, and began to plot revenge.
"Anyways..." said Xander, "why dont we all remember the plot...you know, how we all will get out of here?"
"I dont know, I kinda like it, Xanderums" said Willow, "I mean, it's not like our 'ship has a chance on TV, fanfic is all we have, and season 1-3, and various other eps...but those are gone already, just to be watched. So yah."
"Yes, well, I for one like it, I finally dont have to deal with fangirls" said Legolas Turner.
"See? We're on secondary plots again" said OJake.[/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]NAHTMMM was slightly confused by all the disappearing and reappearing secondary plots and not-quite-plots, so at Old Jake's announcement, he just sat down unobtrusively off to the side, well out of the way of the various plots that were hopping up and down and bumping into each other in their frantic efforts to get everybody's attention, and put together a Ping-Pong table, which he set up. He then began playing a relaxing game of Ping-Pong with one of his tribble commandos while he quietly waited for someone to figure out what the plot was supposed to be, and who was around to do it.[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Suddenly, John Sheridan fell from the sky and landed neatly in the middle of NAH's ping-pong game.

"Stop that!" shouted NAH. "You're not supposed to bother me until you've figured out the plot!"

"Haven't you already realized?" John replied. "Like the one-by-one story, there IS NO plot!"

"True," said NAH in conmiseration. "Are you any good at table tennis?"[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"It's OJake, as in Original Jake, sheesh!" said OOpium
"Dabo! Homework!" said Quark Snyder. "It's okay dear, we have money!" said Anya
"Fangirls! Oh the horror, the horror!" said Legolas T, Jack Sparrow, and Spike, and Oliver Wood, from HP,who popped in.
"We want some fangirls!" said JohnS, and QuarkSnyder.
"Oh Willow" said Xander. "Oh Xander" said Willow.
"Picard, would you like some tea?" asked Crusher. "Crusher, yes and would you like a crumpet?" asked Picard.
"STOP IT ALL OF YOU!" said Tara. "Dont any of you care that we are making even less sense now than ever before?"


((hehe, it's still Friday where I am, yay!)[/colorost_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]"OJake did it," said Taya, trying to lighten the mood with some OJ humor.
"I got it," said OJake, ignoring Taya's comment. "I will will make a baseball movie. The way this movie will be different from the rest of the movies is the fact that all the players on the team will look the same. Gather the clones, because we are going to make a movie."

Taya reacted by saying, "OJake did it, OJake did it"[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]((just to clarify...we're using "Taya17" for Taya 17 and "Tara" for Tara Maclay, played by Amber Benson, from Buffy the Vampire Slayer, right?))

((Oh, and I am getting ready to post this somewhere, prob ably at fanfic.net, "soon", very "soon"))[/colorost_uid0]