Top Ten List of... - Step 1:See Topic. Step 2:create list

[Standback]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Wow, Scooter, that's an impressive PDF. I had no idea we'd already gone through so many.

Zeke, maybe you could link to it from the 5MV Top Ten page? It'd give you a freebie update [/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Wow, it's with pictures and everything...even one for Shanter singing, Â Johnny Depp and Orlando Bloom *sighs at hottness*, Top Hat Man, and even...Data/Toaster!

I've also discovered that although my own lists may be only amusing, the subjects I come up with are made into hilarious lists! Good Jobs Everyone

*disclaimer for the grammer breaking of this post: was written when tired, cranky, and full of cough syrup*[/colorost_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]It's in PDF form at the following link:[/quoteost_uid0]
It appears I can't read that here, so I'll have to wait until I get home. Dammit.[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Ehehehehehe! My avatar!
Aaaand back to the scheduled agenda:

[bost_uid0]Top Ten Product Placements on Star Trek Episodes[/bost_uid0] (haven't we been here before?)

[bost_uid0]10. Pepsi X:[/bost_uid0] To escape a wavefront of destruction, Geordi pours a quart of the drink into the warp drive. Dramatic shot of Enterprise racing away from spread of wavefront accompanied by orchestral music. Enterprise stops in empty space until wavefront of destruction appears again, whereupon Geordi pours another quart of the drink into the warp drive....
[bost_uid0]9. BMW:[/bost_uid0] Fifteen entire minutes of a Voyager episode is spent on the holodeck with Paris gushing on endlessly about the capabilities of the latest model to a very bored and semi-comatose B'Elanna.
[bost_uid0]8. Carlsburg:[/bost_uid0] Bashir orders a bottle of Carlsburg from Quark's and starts blowing into it. Others soon join in. Vic sings to the tune. In a surprise move, Morn stands up and makes his bellybutton dance along.
[bost_uid0]7.McDonalds:[/bost_uid0] It's ubiquitous. There's one on every alien planet they visit, even the one with the sentient goop that clone people.
[bost_uid0]6. Nokia:[/bost_uid0] Â In its latest uniform redesign, Starfleet phases out the commbadge and replaces it with the new Nokia 7260, which comes with an integrated camera, 16-tone polyphonic ringtones, and Xpress-On changeable phone covers in a range of 24 colors.
[bost_uid0]5.Tiger Beer:[/bost_uid0] After saving the universe, Picard is congratulated by Riker. "Give this man a beer!" he says. "No," says Data, "give him a Tiger!"
[bost_uid0]4. Rogaine:[/bost_uid0] Subliminally, a picture of Picard is flashed as "before", with one of Riker flashed as "after".
[bost_uid0]3. Microsoft:[/bost_uid0] Archer begins every episode by asking Mayweather, "Where do you want to go today?"
[bost_uid0]2. Apple:[/bost_uid0] Janeway uses a Macintosh to upload a virus into the Borg hive mind and thus saves the universe.

And the #1 product placement on a Trek Episode is...

[bost_uid0]1. 5MV:[/bost_uid0] The gist of the episode is squashed into the first five minutes, and the next forty minutes are spent having the crewmembers in the mess hall making Porthos and chili jokes, while being assured that dinner will be served "soon".

I'm not sure if anyone else has seen the Carlsburg ad I'm talking about. It may just be a Singaporean thing.


Next: The Top Ten New Members of the League Of Extraordinary Men (and Women), and Why[/colorost_uid0]

[Quinalla]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]This thread is hilarious

[quoteost_uid0]What about poor little Jake? He didnt get much. Or Quark? He was on DS9 AND BTVS and didnt get anyone![/quoteost_uid0]

Jake was dating Marta for a bit, who knows how far he got with that. Jake did get married in "The Visitor" as well, but that timeline was killed by Jake himself. Quark never had a long-term romance, but he certainly "got some". That Cardassian gal Natima and Grilka the Klingon woman for sure. He also flirted quite a bit with the ferengi gal that was pretending to be a man.[/colorost_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Still not home, but nice list.

I like the pictures, too. [/colorost_uid0]

[Scooter]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Glad you guys had fun with it. I had a lot of laughs making it, reliving some fun lists (including Data/toaster, Bajoran Day of Sitting, and many more). And this is only a couple months' worth of lists. THere've been some great lists since I put this one together, so obviously there'll be a Volume 2, the next time I get really, [iost_uid0]really[/iost_uid0] bored.

If you can't read the file, Adobe Acrobat Reader is free from http://www.adobe.com/products/acrobat/readstep2.html.[/colorost_uid0]

[Standback]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Neo, I think Opium meant the *reasons* the 'ships wouldn't work, not just funny 'ships... I could be wrong, but it's fun anyway

10. [bost_uid0]Data/Toaster:[/bost_uid0] ***BEEEEEP: Incompatible hardware. Driver not found. Abort/Retry/Fail?***
9. [bost_uid0]Seven/Doctor:[/bost_uid0] For a former member of the Collective, the Doctor is just too light-hearted.
8. [bost_uid0]Janeway/Tuvok:[/bost_uid0] If Janeway wanted an impassive hunk of wood, she'd have gone for Chakotay.
7. [bost_uid0]Janeway/Chakotay:[/bost_uid0] If Janeway wanted an impassive hunk of wood, she'd have gone for Tuvok.
6. [bost_uid0]Odo/Kira:[/bost_uid0] This one was actually O/K.
5. [bost_uid0]Wesley/Borg Queen:[/bost_uid0] Well [iost_uid0]duh[/iost_uid0] - she'd have flayed him alive inch by inch for the entertainment of the collective. What do you mean, "that's why"?
4. [bost_uid0]Janeway/Neelix:[/bost_uid0] Didn't Zeke already [iost_uid0]tell[/iost_uid0] you you're sick?
3. [bost_uid0]Bashir/Bashir:[/bost_uid0] Though more true to character, it also kept every single other member of the crew on the other side of the space station.
2. [bost_uid0]Travis/T'Pol:[/bost_uid0] Oh, so you believe in this "Travis" character too, eh? No, you're confused - that's "3rd Ensign" you're pointing at.
1. [bost_uid0]Chakotay/Seven:[/bost_uid0] ref: VOY, season 7.[/colorost_uid0]

[Nan]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0="Standback"]...[bost_uid0]Chakotay/Seven[/bost_uid0]...[/quoteost_uid0]
*shudder*

Don't remind me. For the love of pi, don't remind me.[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Standback, that you did was what I meant, but both lists are cool [/colorost_uid0]

[Nic Corelli]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Yay, the link for Acrobat Reader! I was unable to read the file, and got sad, but now... geez! 53 minutes to download the damn thing! Oh well, it`s worth it!

Excellent, Scooter! I`d give you another box of cookies but the cookie website seems to be unavailable right now, [/colorost_uid0]

[Nic Corelli]

[quoteost_uid0="taya17"][color=#000000ost_uid0][bost_uid0]1. 5MV:[/bost_uid0] The gist of the episode is squashed into the first five minutes, and the next forty minutes are spent having the crewmembers in the mess hall making Porthos and chili jokes, while being assured that dinner will be served "soon".[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAhahahaha!

"and the next forty minutes are spent having the crewmembers in the mess hall making Porthos and chili"

[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Niiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiits...

[bost_uid0]::TWONK::[/bost_uid0]

::rolls eyes::[/colorost_uid0]

[Scooter]

[quoteost_uid0="Nic Corelli"][color=#000000ost_uid0]Yay, the link for Acrobat Reader! I was unable to read the file, and got sad, but now... geez! 53 minutes to download the damn thing! Oh well, it`s worth it!

Excellent, Scooter! I`d give you another box of cookies but the cookie website seems to be unavailable right now, [/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]I plead guilty to being broadbandcentric. Sorry dialup folks. Hope you enjoy it anyway. To be fair, I tried to keep the size down, but I was barely able to get the Acrobat Distiller to create it at all (my copy is screwed up). If I can get the size down I'll repost it.[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I don't think your copy is screwed up, Scooter. I think Adobe Acrobat is just [bost_uid0]plain screwed up, period[/bost_uid0].

I got my copy from school, and it regularly crashes my IE and completely slows down my computer by half. Bloody thing. Everytime I click on a .pdf in Explorer by accident I start screaming "OH NOOOOOO!" and rush to stop the thing from loading before it freezes up, falls to a million pieces and crashes.[/colorost_uid0]

[MaverickZer0]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]The Top Ten New Members of the League Of Extraordinary Men (and Women), and Why

(Oh, it's not all ST...just most...)

10. Captain Janeway -- World's First Coffee-Powered Superhero
9. Archer-- Thick Enough Skull to Repel Anything
8. Wesley Crusher-- Ten Seconds of Him Will Send Anyone Screaming
7. The Doctor-- His Singing Will Traumatize Within A Minute, Guaranteed
6. Counselor Troi-- The Power of Annoyance Through Sensing...Nothing
5. Hoshi-- Deafens Opponents In Just One Scream
4. ProtoMan-- Most Mysterious Ally Ever
3. Paris-- 20th Century Fixation Will Drive the Most Patient Up the Wall
2. Tucker-- The Luckiest Person Around. Period.

And the number one...

1. Bass/Zero-- He just rules. Does he need an excuse?

(Don't believe Bass and Zero are the same? http://www.nintelligent.net/character181.php )

Next Up: Top Ten Worst Candidates for Public Office

(In the spirit of election time coming around, of course.)[/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I know what you mean, 17, I do the same thing. Try deactivating the option to automatically check for updates and see if that helps.[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten Worst Candidates for Public Office
(I'm assuming Trek characters)

10. Kai Win: Isnt it obvious? She would just have intern-sex scandal after intern-sex scandal!
9. Troi: She would state the obvious and the truthful, something so unheard of in politics that the entire political system would collapse.
8. Riker: He'd always be asking Picard for advice. And Troi would be the first lady, see above.
7. Redshirt: He or she would be killed at first public appearence.
6. Bashir: Would be so consumed with self he would pay little attention to...oh wait, no, that's a normal politician!
5. Ezri: So annoyed by husband's vanity, she would be driven to madness from her former hosts.
4. Chakotay: Such a wooden figure would never be accepted into politics...no, wait, it would. Never mind this one.
3. Spock: His logic would overwhelm the political system. His lack of emotions would bore the voting public.
2. Quark: So consumed by greed, he would wage wars for oil. In fact, he would do everything for oil, because oil means $$$!
1. Wesley Crusher: Do I really have to explain this one?

Top Ten Best Trek Character for Public Office[/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]^Great list, but maybe Data should have been on it. I can see him launching nuclear wars for no other reason than because it might help him become more human...



Top Ten Best Trek Characters for Public Office

10. Picard: He's got that "distinguished statesman" look to him already.
9. Nanite #356-24-53C: Would be able to rig elections by messing with the tally computers. Also too small for anyone to hear it, so it could make the most ridiculous campaign promises and then afterwards claim that its translator misunderstood it.
8. Kirk: Just to hear him say "[iost_uid0]BUUUUUUUUUSSSHH![/iost_uid0]" at the televised debate
7. Janeway: Mulgrew's already had some experience with politics.
6. Wesley Crusher: His opponent would have an easy win, and he would be too busy to be on TNG.
5. Bob the tribble: He can rig elections by spawning dozens of die-hard supporters at a moment's notice. Plus he's got more charisma and cuteness than the average politician. Probably smarter too.
4. Spock: His logic would overwhelm the political system. This alone would be no small accomplishment.
3. Morn: He would break the "all politicians lie" stereotype. The fact that he would never tell the truth either is insignificant.
2. Odo: He could achieve the career politician's dream of being all things to all people.
1. Abraham Lincoln: Hah, thought I would forget about him didn'tcha?



Next: Top Ten Rejected Proposed New URL's for This Site[/colorost_uid0]

[Katy Jane]

[quoteost_uid0="NAHTMMM"][color=#000000ost_uid0]Next: Top Ten Rejected Proposed New URL's for This Site[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]OooooooOOOoooo! *Yoinks*

10. www.Tophatmancentral.com
9.www.fiversnstuff.com
8. www.Pifivers.com
7. www.fiveminuteenterprise.com

Ummmm.... soneone else can do the rest [/colorost_uid0]