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Old 05-21-2006, 12:54 PM
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Default May 21 (TJILC #1)

You may not have heard about this, but earlier this week the president gave an important speech about illegal aliens. If you missed it, that's okay -- This Just In was, as always, on the job. Here's their live coverage of President Archer on illegal Klingon immigration.


And speaking of TJI, don't look now, but I've created a monster....
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Last edited by Zeke; 10-22-2006 at 04:43 AM.
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Old 05-21-2006, 02:08 PM
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That was frakking brilliant. (and reminds me how much I've missed fresh ENT parodies in the last year.) Nice job! (Travis as "Speaker of the House"? hee hee) I particularly like how you managed to explain the lack of money in Federation society, thus managing to do a better job than 3/4 of the actual series in setting up the Trekiverse as we know it.

And TrinneerHammered is hardly a monster. I've only gotten two offers this week to expand it.
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Old 05-21-2006, 03:03 PM
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Nice TJI, Zeke.
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Old 05-21-2006, 04:21 PM
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If a tree fell on the president in the forest, would anyone care?
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Old 05-21-2006, 05:29 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by evay
That was frakking brilliant. (and reminds me how much I've missed fresh ENT parodies in the last year.) Nice job! (Travis as "Speaker of the House"? hee hee) I particularly like how you managed to explain the lack of money in Federation society, thus managing to do a better job than 3/4 of the actual series in setting up the Trekiverse as we know it.
Plus going on to explain where the Delphic Expanse vanished to and why it now takes Kirk longer to get to Klingon space

Love it.

~~Losty
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Old 05-21-2006, 09:09 PM
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It makes everything WORK! Enterprise is integrated into Star Trek! I kind of want to go cry now...its just so beautiful...should have sent a poet...

Ok, maybe a little overboard, but I do love it.
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Old 05-22-2006, 01:34 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by e of pi
If a tree fell on the president in the forest, would anyone care?
Actually, in light of Zeke's TJI, I think that should be: If a tree fell on the Speaker of the House in the forest, would he make a sound?
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Old 05-22-2006, 01:42 AM
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Depends: has he had a line yet?
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Old 05-22-2006, 12:43 PM
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Zeke, you've still got it.
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Old 05-22-2006, 09:36 PM
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Was there ever any doubt? Other than the BSG event?
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Old 05-23-2006, 12:55 PM
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What do you mean "other than"?
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Old 10-20-2006, 05:34 AM
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Dude! This article is now Google's top hit for "the bombing will begin in five minutes" -- ahead of all the sites that quote what Reagan actually said!
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[03:17] FiveMinZeke: Galactica clearly needs the advanced technology of scissors, which get around the whole "yanking on your follicles" problem.
[03:17] IJD: cylons can hack any blades working in conjunction
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Old 10-20-2006, 10:22 AM
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Sadly though we are no longer the number one hit for "Dalek sex".
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Old 10-20-2006, 04:47 PM
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What! How can that be!
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Old 10-20-2006, 07:10 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by e of pi View Post
What! How can that be!

Don't ask.

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Old 10-20-2006, 08:14 PM
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My favorite rendition of the "tree in the forest" joke is a variant of:

If a tree falls on a mime in the forest, does he make a sound?

As a matter of fact, it's:

If a tree falls on a mime in the forest, does anybody care?
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Old 10-22-2006, 02:55 AM
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If a tree falls on a mime in the forest, is he still trapped inside an invisible box?


Quote:
Originally Posted by Zeke View Post
Dude! This article is now Google's top hit for "the bombing will begin in five minutes" -- ahead of all the sites that quote what Reagan actually said!
How did that happen, btw and, even better, how did you come to find out about it?
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Old 10-22-2006, 04:42 AM
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Found out through the hitcounter. As for how it happened, my best guess is that, like most quotations from famous people, Reagan's joke isn't worded the same on every site.
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[03:17] FiveMinZeke: Galactica clearly needs the advanced technology of scissors, which get around the whole "yanking on your follicles" problem.
[03:17] IJD: cylons can hack any blades working in conjunction
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Old 10-23-2006, 04:24 AM
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Because I'm just that evillllll....... (deep bass, reeeeveeeerrrrbbb......)

I'd like to transliterate one of my favorite "so awful it's awesome" Dave Barry jokes. He describes going fishing with his son and having to explain that worms really don't feel any pain when their speared onto a hook. Dave also says that they show their pain very convincingly with all that coiling and twisting around. He feels that they do a much better job at showing emotion without words than mimes. Dave also admits that to really know for certain, someone would have to do an experiment that involves baiting a hook with a live mime. He calls for a show of hands from the reading audience, then says "I thought so!" when, presumably, the entire reading audience raised their hands.
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Old 10-23-2006, 04:33 AM
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That's a good column. "The first time we tought my son to fish, we went with my lawyer, who he calls Uncle SomethingIdon'trecall......The second time, we went with Uncle Anothernamehere, who is not our lawyer, but Rob calls him 'Uncle' anyway because he is my brother." Barry is a classic.
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