Run for Executive Producer

[Chancellor Valium]

NOT to support the party, you dont and Fuyu is voting for Lexy n Sab....our manifesto appears, in full, to be:

My party platform is as follows:
-Enterprise will be more like the superior Treks: DS9 and TNG.
-Archer will shave his head
-Archer will notice Porthos is lonely, and adopt a wirehaired dachsund.
-I will do my best to contract Eric Szmanda and Noah Wyle into guest-starring roles.
-Since James Marsters and Nicholas Brendon aren't doing much these days, and used to be on UPN, I will offer them standard long-term contracts to reprise their Buffy roles.
-Out with the Alien Nazis, in with the Vamps with Soul and Lovable Funny Guy
-Better props...the retro-future look is fun!
-Better costumes...less blue-grey, more sophisticated black, green, pink, and yellow!
My secondary platforms are as stated:
Enterprise needs strong leadership and more Evil Future Guy!
Enterprise needs more appropriate times for Trip to take off his shirt.
Enterprise needs more tention between Trip, T'Pol and Archer.
Enterprise needs Archer to date Hoshi.
Enterprise needs Hoshie to date Mayweather, and him to date her back.
sensible timelings and more concerned with action.
(I think this is stuff that Opium wants to do....)
Alien Nazis plotline is to be replaced with Spike!
demand more space combat Star Trek games, introduce the Lyrans and Hydrans to the screen, add way more fun CGI battles, and my most radical change: Make Zaphod Beeblebrox President of the Federation. I shall have a new series for all the annoying characters, and move them all there. It shall be called Star Trek: All the Annoying Ones Who Get In The Way On One Starship Together Having Massive Rows, or ST:AOWGITWOOSTHMR -and also a series for all the good characters we like, called Star Trek All the Good Character Who Do Stuff And Aren't Annoying On One Ship Not Having Massive Rows, or ST:AGCWDSAAAOOSNHMR
And finally, a series all about data, called Star Trek: Datafile, where he commands a starship into the middle of nowhere and waits for a passing asteroid to destroy the ship. Crew: 2. Him and Wesley Crusher. Finally, I shall get crossovers made which aren't just crossover-fests!
Actually, scrap that thing about Blake's Seven. If you don't vote for me, I'll put Wesley Crusher on the NX-01!
will also remove all current forms of computer in Star Trek and replace them with Eddie, but only if it will give people a whole bundle of kicks, guys! Share and Enjoy!
Also, I will have Wesley Crusher killed at least once a season. He will only appear that once, and will have a slow, lingering death that will keep you riveted to your seat for 45 minutes! (With the occasional scene of various Star Trek crews making up excuses not to rescure him....including Beverly Crusher!
That if you DONT vote for me, I'll fill Enterprise with:
1) squitty child prodigy types (eg Wesley Crusher, Adric etc)
2) Mary-Sues.
And then replace the sets with ones that are gothic, and dark, made of MDF and day-glo pink nylon drapes, and have NO computer banks, and turn the entire load of main characters (excluding the child prodigies, mary-sues etc) into blathering idiots who will follow the crackpot suggestions of the child prodigies, mary-sues, etc.
If this isn't bad enough....I will also give to all my voters vast tracts of land, money, and a share of the profits from microsoft
- Excrutiatingly well paid multiple guest appearances (if wanted)
- Positions on the Board of Directors of Paramount
- Positions on the Council of Trek - a selection of worthy people who get to make important decisions about ST. (your worthiness is determined by your support for me.....)
- The chance to kill Wesley Crusher on tape
- The chance to kill android doubles of Wesley Crusher any time you want - comes with over 300 gallons of extra (uber-realisic) fake blood, and an armoury/torture chamber of diabolical weapons to use against them.
- A shiny Starfleet Command Dress Uniform
- A shiny sticker
- A tickle-me-Picard ()
- carbon-copies of Spock's eyebrows and ears
- too much Temporal Cold War/Conspiracy Theorems about the Vulcans, and the writers will be SACKED and replaced with BETTER writers.
- Every few months the writers will be SACKED and replaced with BETTER ones.....
- Brannon Braga and Rick Berman will be hired....as work-experience boys.....
- Annoying scenes which get in the way will be removed
- Anyone found to be obsessing about minor details on the programme, unless justified, will be SACKED..or worse, appear as redshirts....
- Pointless characters will, every few months, be put on a shuttle with Wesley Crusher and thrown to the Klingons as stress relievers...()
- I'm afraid the current Enterprise music has to go....its so irritating i can't bear it a moment longer....besides....its not very Star Trek-y...is it?
offer two versions of Enterprise - one for the kids - full of wholesome morality and four natural ingredients to make them healthy() and Enterprise for more....adult viewers.....full of gritty conspiracy theory, rampant sex and violence, and with a child prodigy being killed at least once per episode
The kids ENT will be on at 6:30 and be half as long as the adult one, starting at 8.30
I would like to add one more idea to the pile in our manifesto..... Anyone found creating discontinuity or revisionist history will be SACKED (it's been a major problem with Doctor Who, after all)
to hire some folks from CSI if they happen to get sacked again, even though CSI rocks! In fact, I promise that at least one ep a season will be a CSI crossover!
I promise that crossovers will not be fan****
Excess technobabble will be thrown off the edge of the earth (In the new series of ENT, something as-yet-undecided-but-definitely-bizarre will leave the Earth flat )
Opium and the Morphine Party re-affirms to will do away with (annoying, insulting, pathetic) Nazi Aliens!
Also, just because something explodes in Engineering will no longer mean that a random panel on the bridge will frikking explode as well, dammit!

Oh, and our new script writers are as follows:
Mr. William Shakespeare
Mr. P.G. Wodehouse
Mrs. Agatha Christie
Mr. Geoffrey Chaucer (his lines my rhyme and/or be in Middle Engelaush. Apologisey My Oon Ardvaunce.)
Plautus
Douglas N. Adams
Charles Dickens
Pliny (the letter writing one)
St. John of Patmos

Our composers (for incidental and Theme music):
William Byrd
Purcell
Tallis
Correllis (father and son)
Scarlattis (father and son)
Bachs (all of them)
G.F. Handel
Haydn
Brahms
Mozart
Beethoven
Holszt
Strauss (all of THEM)
Our Lady Peace
Norah Jones
Nickelback
Sum 41
Nirvana
Alanis Morressette
Abba
The Beatles
Nina (99 red battleships, floating through the Vulcan sky...)
Sarah McLachlan
Pink


And Laurence Olivier will now star as Captain Richard Archer the Third
"Ohhh
Yesterday,
All my troubles seemed so far away.
Now it looks as though they're here to stay,
Oh I believe in yesterday"

I think thats all. Whew.

[Alexia]

How bout we give you continuity, canon, and pie? :wink:

Actually, the only thing I really want to see on Enterprise soon is the beginnings of the Federation. I think that would be really interesting.

And of course no more alien nazi's but I think it's fairly certain they aren't gonna play a huge part in Enterprise's future.

[catalina_marina]

Originally Posted by KillerGodMan

All in all, I want to vote for somebody who believes in Continuity, Canon, and most importantly, loves pie.

So in other words, you're voting for Zeke? :wink:

[KillerGodMan]

Originally Posted by catalina_marina

So in other words, you're voting for Zeke? :wink:

Depends, what's his favourite kind of pie? (Excluding pi)

As for Chancellor Valium's party; you have a good platform, but add more Character Devolepment, and less of Archer discovering aliens that Kirk will discouver.

Also, as well as sacking someone for whatver, also force the sack-e to listen to a lengthy explination of Quantum Physics/Mechanics.

Also, I've got a perfict person to have for science-babble: my Science Teacher, I won't name him untill you actually approve of him into the party however.

So, The Morphane party curently has my vote, but it's still everybody's game so far.... :wink:

[Asky]

Originally Posted by KillerGodMan

Hmmm it seems Asky doesn't have a slav- I MEAN partner in the eTrektion

You are correct. I run alone and have campainged not at all since the first page. All you need to know about me is on the first page, unless someone asks me a question.

[Opium]

Vote Opium and the Morphine party!

As for Chancellor Valium's party; you have a good platform, but add more Character Devolepment, and less of Archer discovering aliens that Kirk will discouver.

Don't worry; DS9 is my fave Trek, and it has lots of CD! So yes, Enterprise would have more CD!

[Chancellor Valium]

Basically, we offer to make bad Trek good, to make good Trek better, to make overall trek best. Oh, and Doctor Who/ST crossovers may happen provided they're not fan****.

[Zeke]

Originally Posted by Chancellor Valium

Enterprise needs Archer to date Hoshi.
Enterprise needs Hoshi to date Mayweather, and him to date her back.

Wait, so Hoshi wouldn't date Archer back? How does that work?

No offering invitations to vote. Not even I can do that. It's all up to Paramount. They know who the voters are, but so far, they ain't sayin'.

[Chancellor Valium]

those were opium's ideas. And the name of the party may or may not change to Morpheus.....Zeke, aren't you a voter?

[Chancellor Valium]

those were opium's ideas. And the name of the party may or may not change to Morpheus.....Zeke, aren't you a voter?

[KillerGodMan]

Originally Posted by Zeke

No offering invitations to vote. Not even I can do that. It's all up to Paramount. They know who the voters are, but so far, they ain't sayin'.

So, how do you know I'm not a voter?

[Zeke]

Originally Posted by Chancellor Valium

Zeke, aren't you a voter?

I doubt it. Paramount took my suing them kind of personally.

[Chancellor Valium]

But that was years ago - well, three years ago....give or take.....so who ARE the voters?

[PointyHairedJedi]

At the moment I'm considering pulling out of the race, though I've not made my mind up yet.

Sheesh, you accept a couple of large "donations" from interested parties, and suddenly the FEC are all over you like a bad rash. :roll:

[Chancellor Valium]

then join the Morphine/Morpheus party! (we're not decided on the name.....Neo wants it to be Morpheus, KGM thinks it should be Morphine still....I'm undecided and Opium hasn't expressed a view.
btw - go to www.singinfish.com - type in "Temperance Seven" and click the first link - can anyone find a full version of this recording - preferably by the Temperance Seven.....cheers...

[Alexia]

Or you could join with us Pointy? I'm sure Sabby wouldn't mind :mrgreen: It's a shame to pull out all together.

Up to you though :wink:

[Alexia]

:roll: Of course that would mean not being an all girls party anymore...

[Chancellor Valium]

exactly! Pointy....Morphine/Morpheus has no need to be separating like that.....all are welcome to join - it's a party Party

[KillerGodMan]

exactly! Pointy....Morphine/Morpheus has no need to be separating like that.....all are welcome to join - it's a party Party

And the party never ends!

[Opium]

As I have just experienced the horrible event of having burnt soup, due to watching an engaging program, I am making a new campaign promise:
At every commercial break of Enterprise, a warning will come on: Remember to let any pets you have in or out, and to check you have nothing burning on the stove!