Top Ten List of... - Step 1:See Topic. Step 2:create list

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten Theatrical Productions by Star Trek Characters


10. [iost_uid0]West Side Story[/iost_uid0], starring Worf and Jadzia Dax
9. [iost_uid0]Hair[/iost_uid0], starring Jean-Luc Picard
8. A line-for-line theatrical production of the [iost_uid0]Iliad[/iost_uid0], starring Q as the narrator, Akhilleus, Menelaos, Zeus, Hera, Athena, and everyone else (except for the one infant in the background when Hektor speaks with Paris. That's baby q making a "cameo")


(No time to do more, sorry)[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid11]GAK! Someone please continue the Top Ten List! Go crazy! Make up stuff! [/colorost_uid11]

[Scooter]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten Theatrical Productions by Star Trek Characters

7. [iost_uid0]The Morning After[/iost_uid0], starring Data and Tasha
6. [iost_uid0]God Said "Ha!"[/iost_uid0], a one-man show starring Sybok
5. [iost_uid0]The Phantom of the Opera[/iost_uid0] starring Ben Finney
4. [iost_uid0]Mamma Mia![/iost_uid0] with Deanna and Lwaxana Troi
3. [iost_uid0]Hairspray[/iost_uid0] starring Janice Rand and Christine Chapel
2. [iost_uid0]Beauty and the Beast[/iost_uid0] starring Deanna and Worf (sorry, sorry)

and the Number One Theatrical Production by Star Trek Characters:

1. Phlox! in [iost_uid0]Little Shop of Horrors[/iost_uid0]


Next:
Top Ten Favorite Desserts of Star Trek Characters[/colorost_uid0]

[Nan]

[quoteost_uid0="Scooter"][color=#000000ost_uid0]3. According to the Marduk report, he's the seventh child. Whatever that means.[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]GAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

*gasp*

GAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

Ahem. That is all.[/colorost_uid0]

[Nic Corelli]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Next:
Top Ten Favorite Desserts of Star Trek Characters
[/quoteost_uid0]

10. Seven of Nine - Exoskeleton cake with nanoprobe frosting. Assimilation tubules serve as candles if someone has a birthday.

9. Jean Luc Picard - Enterprise D-shaped popsicle. The nacelles and the main deflector are Earl Grey flavoured. Data often frightened by the sight of the Captain licking and viciously devouring his starship.

8. Worf - Romulan head on a stick. Of course he would never admit it.

7. Janeway - The Coffee Nebula. It`s being kept in the Bussard Collectors and eaten by Janeway, bit by bit, on a regular basis. Occasional bursts of omicron particles tend to strand the Captain in the restroom for long periods of time.

6. Troi - A boxed set of chocolate sundaes, no less than 34 at once. 47 on Saturdays and Sundaes.

5. Sisko - Ketracel White with Strawberries. Started off as an attempt to learn more about the nature of the Jem`Hadar; ended in Betty Ford.

4. Borg Queen - Warp core reactor with ketchup. Of course, everyone was utterly shocked by that, so she had to switch to mustard.

3. Kirk - Alien Babe, Green, Hot.

2. T`Pol - Trip

...

1. Archer - Porthos




Next - Top 10 Voices Inside Sisko`s Head[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top 10 Voices Inside Sisko`s Head

10. Captain Picard: "Good leaders know how to have a good haircut! Engage!"
9. Quark: "Deny all you want, but I know you find that Kira is dating Odo really wierd, too!"
8. Tribbles: Squeeeeeek!
7. Captian Kirk: "Hey, Mr Captain, you have been offered a free exclusive membership to the Babe of the Episode Club"
6. Kasidy: "Remember, Kirk lived a loveless life and died alone in a fan-disliked movie."
5. Brunt/Weyoun/Mulcahey/Shran/Penk/Crem: All repeating the message, "No Matter How Much I Look/Sound/Act Like Another Alien or Historical Figure I Am Not Them! I Am An Original Character like Sherry Bobbins!"
4. Jake and Wesley: "Trek Kids are GREEAAATTT!"
3. Troi: "I feel your pain. I feel that having so many voices is confusing."
2. Ezri: "Oh no, YOU were one of my hosts too?"
1. Kai Win: "The Leader is Good, The Leader is Great, You Surrender your Will, as of This Date!"

Top Ten Lists that Trek Characters would Write
(or at least the names of the Top Ten Lists that Trek Characters would Write )[/colorost_uid0]

[Anonymous]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Ambition will probably cause someone (no names of course) to actually do full lists.

Now where did that Hammer of Crushing go?

Top Ten Lists that Trek Characters would Write
(or at least the names of the Top Ten Lists that Trek Characters would Write )

10. Mayweather: Top Ten reasons to stop making fun of helm officers.
9. Sato: Top Ten reasons why Communication officers are not just a glorified extra.
8. Reed: Top Ten reasons to stop insulting slight underuse of weapons.
7. Troi: Top Ten reasons why stating the obvious can be useful.
6. Kirk: Top ten reasons why sleeping with anything female and with a pulse can be good for your health.
5. Worf: Top Ten reasons why it's never bad to shoot first.
4. Picard: Top Ten reasons one needs a grudge to be a Captain of any starship named Enterprise.
3. Janeway: Top Ten reasons to get stuck in the Delta Quadrant.
2. Sisko: Top Ten reasons for actually getting the Defiant in the first place.
1. Archer: Top Ten reasons to avoid any reference to chili while around Pothos.

Top Ten reasons TO NOT attempt to write these lists in full.[/colorost_uid0]

[Gatac]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Nan: Nice to know I'm not the only one who payed attention in NGE.

Top Ten List of Reasons why people don't finish their lists:

10. Hamsters.
9. It would take more than five minutes.
8. The urge to get a few sweet fruits instead, subsequently forgetting to write everything down. (Pear pressure...)
7. It's a fundamental law that when you need to write a list of n items, you can only think of n-1.
6. The 5mV denizens are unusually selfless people; when you share everything, why not your list, too?
5. It is prophesized that the first one to write a truly, truly funny and complete Top 10 list will be abducted to Alpha Centauri to defeat the great Grumpilon. Nobody can spare the weekend for THAT.
4. The Vulcan Science Directorate has conclusively proven that humans are unable to maintain a coherent train of thought for more than three minutes without thinking of Robbie Williams.
3. All the good jokes were already taken by Andy Dick - the more you write of a list, the greater the chance someone will expose and ridicule you for it.
2. More Hamsters. No, really.

And of course, I won't finish it. :P

Gatac[/colorost_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I will though

1. They know a crisis will come about while writing the list and will have to go save the day, then afterwards they just aren't in the mood to finish the list.

Next: Top Ten things that would happen if another star trek character was the captain[/colorost_uid0]

[Anonymous]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0="Gatac"]Nan: Nice to know I'm not the only one who payed attention in NGE.[/quoteost_uid0]
Forget the Hammer of Crushing, where's Unit-1 when you need it?

It was mildly surprising to see that Seventh Child bit, but maybe someone who knows NGE can work it into their lists along the way.[/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten things that would happen if another Star Trek character was the captain


10. Captain Tucker: "The Pecanpie-ite Maneuver" (from "The Corbomite Maneuver", not the Picard Maneuver )
9. Captain Troi would have figured out the motives of the noncorporeal alien in "Metamorphosis" quickly. Of course the shuttle would have crash-landed anyway, so that point is moot, but still...
8. Captain Uhura would have had the Tamarians' Darmokian language figured out in about ten minutes
7. Captain Wesley Crusher in ST:FC while the Borg are attacking the fleet: "Okay, now make the ship spin sideways at high warp. --Wheeee...!"
6. Captain Torres of the Starship [iost_uid0]Voyager[/iost_uid0]: "I have had ENOUGH of this. Destroy the Kazon fleet. Then destroy the Ocampa world. Then destroy the Array and whatever else you can think of. With nobody around to argue and nothing to argue over, maybe we can get a little peace around here." Tuvok: "Shall I also destroy Neelix, Captain?" Torres: "... Best to be on the safe side, Tuvok."
5. Pakleds: "We look for things. Things that make us go." Captain Janeway: "Ever tried coffee?"
4. Pakleds: "We look for things. Things that make us go." Captain Chekov: "Sorry, no nuclear wessels in this part of space."
3. Captain Quark: "Torres, Tuvok, I want you both to know that I'm not putting you on report because you bartered away precious technology in an attempt to get us home...I'm putting you on report because you failed. You useless excuses for acquisitors."
2. Captain Jadzia Dax in "Mirror, Mirror": *is instantly reduced to ashes by the evil Empire because she's obviously a fake. She doesn't even look like the Kirk they had beamed down to the planet!*
1. Captain Redshirt: "Captain's Log, Stardate 34283.2. Our first day out from spacedock, we have reversed course and are speeding back toward home and away from evil Klingons, nasty alien carnivores, and pretty little blossoms that detach from their stems to violently attack anything in red that moves. The senior crew is talking of mutiny, but all of Engineering and Security is on my side so nyah nyah nyaah."


Next:
Top Ten Answers of Star Trek Characters (excluding anything along the lines of "...where no chicken has gone before") to "Why did the chicken cross the road?"[/colorost_uid0]

[Gatac]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Ooh, as one of the joke's biggest fans, I need to take that...

Top Ten Answers to "Why did the chicken cross the road?"

10. Worf: "It was longing for a warrior's death and faced the onslaught of cars alone. Mourn the chicken, for a great warrior has passed from this world."
9. Yar: "Maybe it just didn't like the series."
8. Neelix: "How dreadful! Why, I was just talking to it the other minute..."
7. Scotty: "I cannae change the laws of traffic!"
6. Trip: "Lookin' to pick up a lovely lass, I'm sure."
5. Seven: "The human capacity for irrelevant trivia never ceases to amaze me."
4. Picard: "This road, Admiral...how many chicken does it take before it becomes wrong?"
3. Paris: "To get to the other side! *pause* Harry didn't think it was funny, either."
2. The Borg: "We are the chicken. Roads are irrelevant. You will be crossed."

And Nr. 1:

1. Kirk: "CHIIIICKEN!"

Next: The Top 10 Contrived Situations where Mayweather may get a line.

Gatac[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]10. Patrick the Genetically Enhanced Dude [iost_uid0]That's a stupid question.[/iost_uid0]
9. Captian Kirk: [iost_uid0]To...boldly...go...where *ow* what...was...that...for? [/iost_uid0] Uhura:[iost_uid0] As your communication officer, I must warn you that joke is now banned on 47,000 planets.[/iost_uid0]
8. Bashir:[iost_uid0] Certainly not due to any genetic enhancements...[/iost_uid0]
7. Troi:[iost_uid0] It felt...pain! And sensed...chocolate sundaes[/iost_uid0]
6. Crusher:[iost_uid0]Perhaps we could run a few humane tests and find out.[/iost_uid0]
5. Ezri:[iost_uid0] Because it was lonely...no, tired, no, bored, no, because it wanted it's afraid of the dark...[/iost_uid0]
4. Janeway:[iost_uid0] There must have been a Starbucks or Tim Hortens across the street.[/iost_uid0]
3. Porthos: [iost_uid0]*is seen running after chicken saying, WOOF! WOOFWOOFWOOOOOFWOFWOF!*[/iost_uid0]
2. Tucker: [iost_uid0] Maybe there are some eggs in its nest. I have a hankering for pecan pie. T'Pol, how about you?[/iost_uid0]*Glares from T'Pol*
1. Picard: [iost_uid0] Surely the chicken went for some primal urge, such as to ask to the woman he has loved, who's best friend married her, to ENGAGE! [/iost_uid0]

Top Ten Trek Characters Who Would Make Better Captains, and Why[/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid14]^^ ^ :lol: :lol:[/colorost_uid14]

[Katy Jane]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]10. Worf: "It was longing for a warrior's death and faced the onslaught of cars alone. Mourn the chicken, for a great warrior has passed from this world."

7. Scotty: "I cannae change the laws of traffic!"

2. The Borg: "We are the chicken. Roads are irrelevant. You will be crossed."

9. Captian Kirk: To...boldly...go...where *ow* what...was...that...for? Uhura: As your communication officer, I must warn you that joke is now banned on 47,000 planets.

3. Porthos: *is seen running after chicken saying, WOOF! WOOFWOOFWOOOOOFWOFWOF!*

[/quoteost_uid0]
:lol: :lol: :lol:[/colorost_uid0]

[Gatac]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Post, people!

(What, a senseless post from me? Never!)

Gatac[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]What? I double-posted with Gatac! Eep!

(hehe, another Duckman fan? )

Top Ten Trek Characters Who Would Make Better Captains, and Why

OR


The Top 10 Contrived Situations where Mayweather may get a line.[/colorost_uid0]

[Gatac]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Duckman? Never seen it.

Gatac[/colorost_uid0]

[Anonymous]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Chose one:

The Top 10 Contrived Situations where Mayweather may get a line.

10. In one of the strangest twists yet, Daniels returns to [iost_uid0]Enterprise[/iost_uid0] to inform Archer that to save the future, Mayweather must somehow be allowed to speak to the Xindi Counsel to convince them to not launch the weapon. The plan works, but later backfires when Daniels returns again to inform them that by letting him speak, he would go on to write many novels and go on many lecture tours. This results in the future becoming what everybody feared most: A place that is ruled by a tyranical and militant Dr. Phil. He still states the painfully obvious, but he has a military force of unparalled power to make sure that people actually pays attention to him this time.

9. In one of the weirdest experiments so far onboard the ship, the ship's helm is refitted with a voice interface that responds only to Mayweathers' voice pattern. Subsequent attempts to allow more then one user proves unsuccessful, and Mayweather is finally allowed to speak. Fortunately, the vocal commands used in the new helm controls are single words only, so the pain is minimalized.

8. Mayweather final loses it, and demands that unless he is allowed more then his paltry amount of allotted lines, he will plow [iost_uid0]Enterprise[/iost_uid0] into the next asteroid they encounter. For the most part, the crew doesn't care, but reluctantly agrees to his demands as the NX-01 is the only dinghy they've been allowed to serve on for at least 5 to 10 years, or until Archer finally admits to Soval that humans are illogical, irrational beings.

7. After returning to Earth after successfully stopping the weapon and returning to service after a major overhaul and rebuild, Mayweather is mistakeningly promoted to Captain and given the NX-02. It explodes before even leaving port because of circumstances that wouldn't normally happen, but did because of the astronomical screw up that let him speak in the first place, and promoted as well.

6. While on leave while the ship is being evaluated to either be scrapped or returned to service, Mayweather realizes that he's allowed to speak, as there is no one to stop him or order him to remain silent. Moments after speaking the first syllable of the sentence though, the ground opens up and swallows him, never to be seen or heard from again. This makes no difference though, as the ship is returned to service after a major rebuild, and the helm controls are now tied into a remote control device in the hands of a 12 year old.

5. Ambassador Soval is almost successful in his attempts to have NX-01 dismantled and spread to the four quadrants, but against orders Mayweather speaks up and gives an emotional plea that the ship not be dismantled. Soval is incapable of dealing with the illogical nature of the interruption, and his head explodes moments later. Pecan pie is sured in an impromptu party afterwards.

I'll finish later, assuming that no one does in the mean time.

Something got posted anyway.[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Gatac, then how did you know Kirk yells "CHIICKEN!" rather than "KHAN!" ? [/colorost_uid0]