Top Ten List of... - Step 1:See Topic. Step 2:create list

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]1. Voyager Redshirt Club: Like the Mickey Mouse Club, but for Redshirts. At the end of each episode, one redshirt dies.

Top Ten Reasons to keep Neelix off the Holodeck[/colorost_uid0]

[Katy Jane]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]10: Tuvok may mistake him for a hologram and strangle him.

9: So far, any food created on the holodeck has been free of leola root, if Neelix gets to the holodeck controls, all that may change.[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]8. No one wants to see Telaxian slash fanfic.[/colorost_uid0]

[Gatac]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]7. Two words: 'Nam flashbacks. (You don't want to know. Temporal Investigations still hasn't figured it out, either.)

6. He once tried to use the Ziolnikov Supernova program to heat his wok. The stench of superfried vegetables wouldn't go out for weeks.

5. He really, really sucks at the Jump program.

4. He once entered a malfunctioning Tribble colony program and couldn't be found until the entire holodeck had been shut down.

3. Due to some quirk in programming, all Federation holograms at once recognise that Neelix is an alien, and nobody wants those Irish folks to go lynch mob on them *again*

2. He could get shot at by holographic Nazis again - and Torres hasn't perfected their marksmanship yet.

I leave Nr. 1 to a more capable humorist. (If you find one, call me. )

Gatac[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]1. When he signed up for the "R rated HoloNovel SmutFilled Challenge", the catagory he put down was "food".


Top Ten Original Trek Characters Most Ridicules TV shows, Movies, or Theme Songs (made-up or real )[/colorost_uid0]

[Standback]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I didn't quite get that list topic, Opium... I'm not sure what the connection between the characters, the ridicule, and the shows/movies is supposed to be. Please clarify, and maybe I'll finally write something here again. Thankee![/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I think Opium meant "ridiculous", but I'm not sure [/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Thank-asking you for! Here, me let try make to sense more.


ridiculous

Top Ten Ridiculous (real or made-up)TVshows, Theme Songs or Movies done by an Original Trek actor or character

(Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds, Shatner style, comes to mind...)[/colorost_uid0]

[Alexia]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]10. If I had a hammer, sung by scotty [/colorost_uid0]

[admiral sab]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]9. "He's Dead, Jim" by Dr. Mcoy

8. William Shatner in any guest appearance.

7. William Shatner on the Practice.

6. Spock's "My Mind to your Mind" psychic hotline series.

5. "I'm a Doctor, not a singer" by Dr. Mcoy[/colorost_uid0]

[Standback]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]4. [iost_uid0]"Wascally Wessel,"[/iost_uid0] starring Elmer Fudd, Bugs Bunny and Pavel Chekov
3. [iost_uid0]"Scotty's Slim-zercise!"[/iost_uid0], hosted by James Doohan
2. [iost_uid0]The Real Slim Shady[/iost_uid0] (cover by Leonard Nimoy)

And the number one Most Ridiculous TV Show/Theme Songs/Movie Done by an Original Trek Actor or Character...

1. [iost_uid0]Star Trek: The Motion Picture[/iost_uid0]

And the next list:
Top Ten Reasons DS9 Crew Don't Write Blogs[/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten Reasons DS9 Crew Don't Write Blogs


10. Odo: "Blog" sounds like slang for some illegal substance that Quark would try to smuggle in

9. Worf: At first declined the suggestion with thanks ("Giving the galaxy a speech about one's experience with slaughtering [iost_uid0]targ[/iost_uid0] is for [iost_uid0]targ[/iost_uid0]-brained people!"), but then warmed up to the idea of this way of spreading word of his glorious "victories". His short-lived blog is generally agreed to have jumped the shark when he posted two pages' worth of crowing over his victory over a bit of lint stuck to his uniform.

8. Bashir: His blog would consist almost entirely of "I made this brilliant pass at a gorgeous girl today but she ignored me. What is wrong with women? They're supposed to be falling over themselves to get at me...ah well. Yesterday I saved yet another dozen aliens with diseases and physiological systems not remotely like anything seen before. Just par for the course for Julian Bashir..."

7. Nog: "Stupid hew-mon, you don't leave evidence of your, er, entirely legal profit-making where everyone can see it!"

6. Ezri: The actual events would make up one-fifth of her blog. Every little inane thing the symbiont's previous hosts' memories told her because of the events would be the other four fifths: "Siege of station lifted yesterday. Apparently Curzon had to go through a siege once. He lived on canned peas the entire time. I don't think he enjoyed it. Meanwhile..."

5. Quark: Same as Nog, plus he's worried the computer he'd type his latest entry into would be Odo

4. Sisko: He's the man charged with holding of the most important commands in the Quadrant, and his blog would consist of weeks' worth of musings about whether or not to shave his head[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]3. Ezri's would be a confusing mix of varius musings that came out of nowwhere and may not make sense but then again maybe they would because she is soooo many people and small spaces are scary and I like cheese.
Ezri's taken...


3. Jadzia: She's dead, of course!

2. Jake: What, and waste my precious computer memory on a blog? I have important stories to write, like 'Top Ten Suvenior Shops on the DS9 Prominard".

1. Keiko O'Brien: She tells such an interesting story that you would never stop reading it, unlike her husband's boring life of playing with toys and tinkering with engines.

Top Ten Exerpts from Voyager's blogs[/colorost_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten Exerpts from Voyager's blogs

10. Torres:
Entry#243 - "I HATE Tom Paris!"
Entry#244 - "I love Tom Paris."
Entry#245 - "I hate Paris."
Entry#246 - "I'm getting married Tom Paris!"

9. Janeway - "I need coffee, and I need it NOW! oOo a nebula!"

8. Doctor - Day 1: "Who are all these strange people telling me I'm there Doctor now? Where am I? Who am I? Why do I have this strange sensation to sing Opera?"

7. Seven - "Resistance is FUN! Computer, delete all blogs that mention Seven."[/colorost_uid0]

[Gatac]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]6. Neelix: The past is a puzzle, like a broken mirror. As you piece it together, your image keeps shifting. And you change with it. It could destroy you, drive you mad. It could set you free.

5. Tuvok: I have noticed that Captain Janeway has recently shown a clear predilection for preferring my advice over the recommendations of the rest of the crew. Logic only allows one conclusion:

T-man's still Number One in the hood, G.

4. Tom Paris: I feel the need. The need...for speed.

3. Chakotay: You know, dear diary, this whole day trip isn't much fun any more.

2. Harry Kim: They still do not suspect my true identity. The daily demonstrations of borderline incompetence have kept them from even conceiving of the fact that I am more than I appear to be. Soon, I will dispose of them like the cheap toys they are. Soon.

Redkim.

And as usual, I'll leave the end to somebody else.

Gatac[/colorost_uid0]

[Nic Corelli]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Wooo... haven`t been writing a list for ages...


1. Naomi Wildman: "Ensign Kim was whining for his promotion again, so the Captain promoted me to Admiral to spite him. My first order of business will be changing the regular Starfleet uniforms to pink ballet tutus. All officers who oppose the new dress code will be killed. Yes, just plain killed. I believe in a thing called discipline. Furthermore, long range sensors shall be modified to scan for cute fluffy bunnies, which shall be collected and brought on board, and judged weekly by me in the Cutest Alien Fluffy Bunny pageant, with the entire crew in the audience. To attain good luck in keeping the Borg and the Hirogen away from the ship, the bunnies might be ritually sacrificed to the Fire God every Wednesday after an episode of Ally McBeal. Current mood - pensive.


NEXT - Top 10 Silliest Alpha Quadrant Wars Ever[/colorost_uid0]

[NeoMatrix]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top 10 Silliest Alpha Quadrant Wars Ever

10. The Borg Civil War: The Borg women got tired of listening to the Borg men, plus they didn't want them to be in their head, so they got rid of them.[/colorost_uid0]

[Opium]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]10. The Bumpy's vs The Eyebrows: The Klingon Civil War[/colorost_uid0]

[taya17]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][bost_uid0]8.[/bost_uid0] An argument between a Bolian and an Andorian in a pub over who had bluer skin came to blows, and eventually escalated into what is now known as the Great Pigmentation War.

[bost_uid0]7.[/bost_uid0] The Tribble Wars: The Klingon captain deems that Scotty's beaming of the Enterprise's entire tribble population into their engine room is an Act Of War under the 2202 Weapons Of Mass Destruction Agreement, and proceeds to launch a long, bloody campaign against them, culminating in the death of one crewmember who perished when Kirk accidentally spilled some orange juice into his console during the course of the battle.

[bost_uid0]6.[/bost_uid0] The Pig War of 1911: Austria and Serbia launch live pigs at each other across the Croatian border. Many innocent civilians do not survive the experience of having a 300-pound porcine projectile landing squarely on their heads. World Wars One and Two. [iost_uid0]What?[/iost_uid0] This planet isn't in the Alpha Quadrant, huh? Huh?[/colorost_uid0]

[Nic Corelli]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]5. Romulan Empire-Canada War of 2158: The beginning of Earth-Romulus War. Started when a Romulan delegation landed in Ottawa to sign a treaty and *some Canadians* ate their dog. Romulans invaded Dog Creek the next day.[/colorost_uid0]