The Monkey's Paw Game

[Xeroc]

Q: You do, but now you're in the novel.


A: I wish I had a 106-inch plasma screen HDTV.

[Chancellor Valium]

You do. Unfortunately, you have to trade in other...ahem. 'Assets'.

I wish I commanded the ISS Doomslayer

[NeoMatrix]

You get the command. The bad news is that the ship got blown up. The good news is that you got on the wrong ship.

I wish I could be a successful movie director

[Xeroc]

You succeed at directing movies, but sadly, no one wants to watch them.


I wish I had an infinite power supply in a portable, safe, usable, and controllable machine, no bigger than an inch cubed.

[Chancellor Valium]

You do. You're killed and it is stolen and destroyed by rogue Newtonians.

I wish I could think of an infallible wish!

[Xeroc]

You just did! Now, the problem is, it doesn't exactly help you at all, now does it?.


I wish for an unlimited number of wishes.

[Chancellor Valium]

You die in the next 0.5 seconds, negating that wish's effects somewhat.

I wish persianmouse were around...

[richardson]

It is, but you die of a horrible death by 47. :wink:

I wish I could become prime...

[Xeroc]

You are! Have fun as the number 2^30402457-1!


I wish for... factorial powers!

[richardson]

You get them, but you factor yourself out of existance.

I wish zeke would change rabbits to wabbits...

[Xeroc]

He does, and the universe explodes!


Okay, I couldn't think of a good twist.


I wish I had superpowers!

[NeoMatrix]

To be fair, everyone gets superpowers, which makes everyone "normal"

I wish I had a replicator

[Burt]

You do get one. And a huge wonderful ship to go with it too. But you're stuck on the otherside of the galaxy, in uncharted space.... alone. And with bugger-all power.
So the replicator gets rationed. So you get stuck eatting Leola Root Stew Forever!

I wish I had the new series of 24 right now!

[Xeroc]

You do. In a 10 x 10 pixel size movie file, with nearly inaudible sound.


I wish I had more hard drive space on my computer.

[richardson]

You get a thousand terrabytes, and your OS crashes due to information overload.

I wish I could substitute in my own reality...

[Xeroc]

You can, it's imagination!


I wish I had Matrix-like powers.

[Hejira]

You turn green, get an eye poked out, and bulk up in muscle. Your lifespan is now a little over two months, but at least you have a cool gun.

I wish life was like a videogame, and that I kicked arse at videogames so I don't end up like Fry.

[richardson]

You kick butt and live in a video game alright. It's pong.


I wish I had an uber pc.

[Hejira]

You uber PC comes preinstalled with Windows Vista.

I wish Microsoft weren't such jerks when it came to releasing Halo 2 for PC. Stupid jerks.

[Xeroc]

They are real nice, and sell the game for $5,000.


I wish I had a really fast calculator.