Your favourite Garak quotes....

[Chancellor Valium]

At the moment, mine is
"The plan was that I would pretend to be there friends, and then, I'd shoot you!"
to the Jem'Hadar in "The Search, Part II"

[Derek]

Honestly, all the interactions between Garak and Odo in "Improbable Cause" are great.

But my favorite might be:
GARAK: Or am I wrong? Tell me, is there one person in this universe that you care about? One person that is more to you than just an interesting puzzle to be solved. Is there, Odo... anyone?
ODO: If there were, I certainly wouldn't tell you...
GARAK: And that... would be a wise decision.

[Zeke]

Yeah, "Improbable Cause" is my favourite Garak episode ("The Wire" is a close second). That two-parter is one of my favourites in all of Trek; from start to finish, it's DS9 at its best.

As for Garak quotes, two stand out for me. One is his melancholy line from the end of "The Die is Cast":

"You know what the sad part is, Constable? I'm really a very good tailor."

The other, and the one that sums him up best IMO, is this one:

"The truth is usually just an excuse for a lack of imagination."

Come to think of it, those were both from IC/DiC. And so is the brilliant scene with his interpretation of The Boy Who Cried Wolf. And his instructions to Bashir on what to do in his absence. That was some episode.

[Chancellor Valium]

I also like his comment after getting the Defiant past a cardy warship, in "Second Skin", that he "overheard it while hemming someone's trousers..."

[Gatac]

"I believe in coincidences, coincidences happen every day. But I don't trust coincidences."

Gatac

[mudshark]

One of my favorites has always been this exchange with Bashir, from 'The Way of the Warrior':

Bashir: I can't believe you're not pressing charges.
Garak: Constable Odo and Captain Sisko expressed a similar concern, but really, doctor, there was no harm done.
Bashir: They broke seven of your transverse ribs and fractured your clavicle!
Garak: Ah, but I got off several cutting remarks which no doubt did serious damage to their egos.
Bashir: Garak, this isn't funny.
Garak: I'm serious, doctor! Thanks to your administrations, I'm almost completely healed, but the damage I did to them will last a lifetime.

Really, though, Garak is probably the single most quotable character in Star Trek.

[Sa'ar Chasm]

Quark: I want you to try something. It's an Earth drink. Root beer.
Garak: I couldn't...
Quark: Go on.
Garak: It's vile!
Quark: It's so happy and bubbly and cloy.
Garak: Just like the Federation.
Quark: You know what's worse? If you drink enough of it, you start to like it.
Garak: It's insidious.
Quark: Just like the Federation.

[mudshark]

This one always nags at me. I know that that's what all the quote sites have (they all copy from each other, anyway) but doesn't "cloying" make more sense, grammatically?


Aha! :P From the script, as it exists at Star Trek Minutiae:

DEEP SPACE NINE: "Way... Warrior" - REV. 07/18/95 - ACT SIX 89B.

118A CONTINUED: (2)

QUARK (Cont'd)
And the worst part is, my only
hope for salvation... is the
Federation.

GARAK
I know precisely how you feel.

Quark suddenly gets an idea.

QUARK
Here, I want you to try something
for me.

Quark pulls out a glass and fulls it with a foamy brown
liquid.

QUARK
Take a sip of this.

Garak looks skeptically at the drink.

GARAK
What is it?

QUARK
A human drink. It's called root
beer.

GARAK
(eyes it suspiciously)
I don't know...

QUARK
Go ahead. Aren't you just a
little bit curious?

Garak hesitates a beat, but then takes a sip. He
immediately makes a face.

QUARK
What do you think?

GARAK
It's vile.

Quark is glad that someone agrees with him.

QUARK
I know.
(searching for bad things to say)
It's so bubbly and cloying and
happy.


DEEP SPACE NINE: "Way... Warrior" - REV. 07/18/95 - ACT SIX 89C.

118A CONTINUED: (3)

GARAK
Just like the Federation.

QUARK
But you know what's really
frightening? If you drink enough
of it, you start to like it.

GARAK
It's insidious.

QUARK
Just like the Federation.

There's a long beat as the two aliens share their
common bond.

GARAK
Do you think they'll be able to
save us?

QUARK
(defeated)
I hope so.

Quark takes a sip of the root beer, then shudders.

http://st-minutiae.com/academy/literature329/474.txt

[Sa'ar Chasm]

I'd be remiss if I didn't toot my own horn:
Quark: Garak, I want you to kill me.
Garak: Excellent choice, if I may say so. I offer a wide range of terminatory options, all guaranteed to be of highest quality. If you aren't completely satisfied with the manner of your passing, I'll cheerfully refund your money.
Quark: But I'll be dead!
Garak: Details, details.

Quark: No, no, NO! I can't die like that! The blood clashes with my suit.
Garak: That's easy to fix -- I'll make you a new suit.

Strictly speaking, the second one is Kira's.

[Zeke]

The root beer scene is great, but isn't it really a Quark moment? Garak is just the straight man in that scene.

Originally Posted by Sa'ar Chasm

I'd be remiss if I didn't toot my own horn:

No you wouldn't. Not to diss your scenes -- or the tooting of one's own horn -- but this thread is about actual Garak quotes, not Garak fiver quotes.

[e of pi]

I know we Miscies don't post much outside of our little section, at least most of the time, but personally, I think it's a molment for doth of them, as a semi-exile and an exile facing a system with radically different values.

[Xeroc]

I'd have to say the scene with his interpretation of The Boy Who Cried Wolf is excellent, and the quote: "The truth is usually just an excuse for a lack of imagination." is also one of my favorites from him.

[Zeke]

Originally Posted by e of pi

I know we Miscies don't post much outside of our little section --

Uh, you didn't take offense to that thread I posted, did you? It wasn't meant that way. I wasn't rebuking anyone, I was genuinely curious.

[e of pi]

No. I was stating fact. I've now posted exactly 3 time outside of our area. It is an honor to be labeled by Zeke the Allmighty.

[whoiam]

e of pi's got a point - we don't usually venture outside the misc section. Except the occasional ventures into 5mtalk.

That isn't to say we don't read the other sections, of course...

[e of pi]

Obviously we do.

[PointyHairedJedi]

And in Soviet Russia, the other sections read you!

To my shame I can't recall any quotes from Garak or anyone else for that matter. I can never seem to remember the darn things. "In the Pale Moonlight" must have had some good Garak lines though, surely?

[Derek]

One of my favorites from In the Pale Moonlight:

GARAK: I've locked him in his quarters. I've also left him with the distinct impression that if he attempts to force open the door, it may... explode.
SISKO: I hope that's just an impression.
GARAK: It's best not to dwell on such minutiae.

[Derek]

Or a good one from Broken Link:

GARAK: Ah, yes. The Assassination of Proconsul Merrok of Romulus. Such a tragedy. I met him once, a few weeks before he died. I was working as a gardener at the Cardassian embassy.
ODO: You were a gardener on Romulus?
GARAK: My specialty was Edosian Orchids. Beautiful yet highly toxic.
ODO: As I recall, Proconsul Merrok was poisoned.
GARAK: Funny, I don't remember that. But then again so many Romulan dignitaries died unexpectedly that year.

[e of pi]

Oh no! Double post off the port bow! All hands to battle stations! And open up another crate of excamation points!