February 1

[Zeke]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]

We're finally back! The disappearance was the result of some sort of server malfunction, and Owen fixed it as quickly as he could, but unfortunately that still left us offline for several days. We don't anticipate any further problems.


Incidentally, this seems a good time to remind y'all about the update list (because if you'd been on it, you would have heard why the site was down and when it would be back). Basically, there's an email list I use to notify people when we update. I haven't been very consistent with it lately, but I'm going to change that -- I'm thinking of switching to weekly update letters since we add content pretty often, but maybe not. Anyway, to get on the list, just write me at zeke@sci-fivers.com.ar, preferably with "update list" in the title.


And to get us rolling now that we're back, here's Five-Minute "Similitude," published at the Trek Nation on Thursday.[/colorost_uid0]

[evay]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]
T'Pol: What? No. I merely wished to comfort you with a false gesture that means nothing whatsoever to me.
Sim: Why don't you just throw in a kick in the crotch, huh?
T'Pol: I'll give the real Mr. Tucker one for you.
[/quoteost_uid0]

Oh, man, I SO wish you wrote for the show. I would sell my car to see that on screen. Of course, I keep wanting to quote Reed's "I wouldn't disarm for God himself" lines on my website, and then I have to remind myself that those didn't air either...

These are brilliant![/colorost_uid0]

[Michiel]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Captain's Starlog: Trip has a brilliant plan to increase our warp efficiency. He's going to use....
Archer: Uh, Archer to Trip. What did you say your new system is called?
Tucker: Coaxial quantum slipstream transwarp subspace corridors.
He's going to make the ship faster.[/quoteost_uid0]

Bwahahaha!

Great fiver!

[uost_uid0]Edit:[/uost_uid0] There's just one thing. T'Pol can still speak after her head exploded. [/colorost_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0="Michiel"][uost_uid0]Edit:[/uost_uid0] There's just one thing. T'Pol can still speak after her head exploded. [/quoteost_uid0]
Star Trek was never one for continuity.

[quoteost_uid0]Tucker: (sniff)
Archer: Hey! Stop that! Get the camera off Trip! They can't see him standing here till the end. Pick someone else sniffling!

Archer: And so, as we launch this unfortunate phony soul to his final rest, we must take the lessons he taught us and apply them to the challenges of the future. I, for example, have the challenge of breaking it to Trip's parents that their son got killed and is safe and sound. You can cut to Trip now.
Tucker: (sniff)[/quoteost_uid0]
And the rest of the fiver, but I can't quote it all, now can I? [/colorost_uid0]

[Michiel]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]The two most addictive things for mankind are sleep and water.[/quoteost_uid0]

Hm.. Isn't oxygen more addictive than either of those? [/colorost_uid0]

[Katy Jane]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]That was just too funny :LOL:

I want to quote the whole thing too but i'll settle for these...

[quoteost_uid0]Sato: Speaking of which, Engineering says Trip is seriously injured. Oh no!
T'Pol: It could have been worse, Ensign. He could have not been seriously injured. [/quoteost_uid0]

:lol: Â [that70'sshow]Burrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrn![/that70'sshow]

[quoteost_uid0]Phlox's Log: In a delightfully obscure Ray Bradbury reference, I've named the baby Sim. If I had two of them, they'd be the Sims. [/quoteost_uid0]

[quoteost_uid0]Sim: What's the other way?
Archer: I line T'Pol's quarters with Trellium-D, she turns into a zombie, the zombie eats your brain, Reed beams it out of the zombie, and Phlox buys it from Reed with some hormones. [/quoteost_uid0]

and one more....

[quoteost_uid0]Sim: Anyway, what worries me is that I don't know if these feelings are mine or Trip's. Plus there's this weird part of my brain that keeps insisting it's Hoshi I like, not you.[/quoteost_uid0]

[Hoshi]Mwahahahaha.[/Hoshi]

[/colorost_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[quoteost_uid0="Michiel"][color=#000000ost_uid0]Hm.. Isn't oxygen more addictive than either of those? [/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]No, oxygen is just something you need to survive, whether you've had it before or not. [/colorost_uid0]

[FatMatDuhRat]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]My fav joke running throughout [bost_uid0]5-Min-Similitude[/bost_uid0] is the
reference to Trip actually liking Hoshi instead of T'Pol.
:lol:
It would have been a very difficult decision for any man
to make, whether or not to take the cheesecake babe
over the beautilful poly-linguist, or to do the opposite.
:think:
Too bad Sim didn't have more time to create some sort
of 'shipper movement, or did he do that already by the
kiss that T'Pol gave him which was actually for the real
Comm. Tucker? (I dunno, you tell me.)
:suspicious:[/colorost_uid0]

[NAHTMMM]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Captain's Starlog: Trip has a brilliant plan to increase our warp efficiency. He's going to use....
Archer: Uh, Archer to Trip. What did you say your new system is called?
Tucker: Coaxial quantum slipstream transwarp subspace corridors.
He's going to make the ship faster.[/quoteost_uid0]
:lol:

[quoteost_uid0]Phlox: There's only one chance to save Mr. Tucker. One of my pets --
Archer: Oh, this never ends well.
Phlox: Ahem. Becomes a clone of whatever DNA you inject into it. A magical, fast-aging clone.[/quoteost_uid0]

*makes a note never to shake hands with one of those things*

[quoteost_uid0]Reed: (over the comm) Reed to Captain Archer! You won't believe this, sir, but Subcommander T'Pol's head just exploded!
Archer: Now look what you've done to our science officer, Doctor.
Reed: This is the best day ever![/quoteost_uid0]
:lol: I agree, it [iost_uid0]is[/iost_uid0] that dumb an idea![/colorost_uid0]

[mudshark]

[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]T'Pol: Whatever we're in a field of is starting to cling to the ship. Here is a sample.
Porthos: Ruff ruff! (chomp)
T'Pol: What the... he just...
Archer: Sorry about that. Porthos knows you have something to do with cheesecake, so he thought you were bringing him some.
T'Pol: We'll, he'll mutate, not me. [/quoteost_uid0]
What next for Porthos?

Staaaaayy tuned ...

[/colorost_uid0]

[Tate]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Great job, as always, Zeke.

[quoteost_uid0]Archer: What? Did you know about this, Phlox?
Sim: You bet he did. My research was in his sock drawer.
Phlox: I was going to show it to you! After the operation, so I could gloat! Is that so wrong? [/quoteost_uid0]
[quoteost_uid0]Sim: Okay, I'm ready to go.
Phlox: Excellent. You know, on any other series, the doctor would be refusing to perform this procedure for ethical reasons.
Sim: You mean --
Phlox: I'm just making conversation.[/quoteost_uid0]
:lol: I just love Phlox in your fivers. He just...so [iost_uid0]easy[/iost_uid0] to hate. [/colorost_uid0]

[Zeke]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I forgot to mention: bonus marks for the first one to identify all the [iost_uid0]Voyager[/iost_uid0] propulsion technologies Tucker's using to make the ship faster.[/colorost_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Coaxial drive,
Quantum slipstream,
Transwarp drive,
Subspace corridors.[/colorost_uid0]

[Michiel]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]There's also borg transwarp hubs.[/colorost_uid0]

[Zeke]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Cat gets the first bonus point. Second goes to the first one who names an episode where each is used.[/colorost_uid0]

[Michiel]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Each? As far as I know, there's only one episode with transwarp corridors. Dragon's Teeth. I don't think there's one of the others in that one.[/colorost_uid0]

[Zeke]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]Oh, I meant one episode for each, not one for all. That would be impossible.

Btw, "Dragon's Teeth" is the one with [iost_uid0]subspace[/iost_uid0] corridors. Â Transwarp comes in conduits.

Bonus marks for thinking of a [iost_uid0]Voyager[/iost_uid0] faster-than-warp propulsion technology I [iost_uid0]didn't[/iost_uid0] mention.[/colorost_uid0]

[Michiel]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]My mistake. I meant subspace.

Ok:

Coaxial drive --> "Vis a Vis"
Quantum slipstream --> "Hope and Fear"
Transwarp drive --> "Threshold"
Subspace corridors --> "Dragons Teeth"

Voyager faster-than-warp propulsion technology you didn't mention:

Caretakers array
Subspace catapult
Q-juniors spacial rift deflector-configuration
Borg transwarp hub
Borg intergalaxial rift deflector-configuration

And subspace corridors really aren't a form of technology, so I'll add:

Wormholes
Q teleportation[/colorost_uid0]

[catalina_marina]

[color=#000000ost_uid0]I suppose the thing Kes did in "The Gift" is not a propulsion [iost_uid0]technology[/iost_uid0], but it [iost_uid0]is[/iost_uid0] faster-than-warp.

Oh, that could go with the last group.[/colorost_uid0]