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Old 06-11-2005, 05:05 AM
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Default June 10



The subsite in question is of course Five-Minute Deep Space Nine, which turns two today. I'm in an insane rush right now, so I don't have time to gush over the content, just to tell you where to find it; fortunately, it speaks quite well for itself. Here it is:
    [*]Five-Minute "Image in the Sand" and "Shadows and Symbols," by Derek;[*]Five-Minute "The Sword of Kahless," by husband-and-wife writing team Derek and MmeBlueberry (who has sole credit on the fiver page for the moment because I haven't coded for multiple authors yet);[*]Five-Minute "Duet," by Marc Richard;[*]A new TJI article by Derek called Lofton to rap, G;[*]And most exciting of all -- a comic adaption by Derek of his own Five-Minute "In the Hands of the Prophets," one of the six fivers with which he launched this subsite![/list]
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Old 06-11-2005, 07:36 AM
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Now that's the shizzlit. Great fivers!

Woooooorrrrfff....
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Old 06-11-2005, 04:15 PM
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Hooray for hilarious fivage! Also hooray for baby squirrels.

Mmmm, baby squirrels.
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Old 06-11-2005, 05:01 PM
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Quote:
Bashir: So what did Worf say?
O'Brien: That nothing was eating him since he was at the top of the food chain.
Bashir: I mean about Jadzia.
O'Brien: That nothing was eating her since she was not in Sto-vo-kor.
Quote:
Kira: Dr. Bashir has confirmed you have Kalla-Norah, which proves you were at Gallitep. What did you do there?
Marritza: As I told Commander Sisko, I was a humble filing clerk.
Kira: And what part did you play in the atrocities the Cardassians committed at the camp?
Marritza: Atrocities? You mean the starvation, the beatings, the rapes, the live burials, the torture, the murders and so on?
Kira: That's right.
Marritza: My goodness! This is the most shocking news I've ever heard! I had no idea such things were going on there!
Good stuff.

(Nitpick: In the Sword of Kahless, veronica mars was weirdly turned into a HTML tag, making it invisible)
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Old 06-11-2005, 05:25 PM
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Fixed. TO THE EXTREEM.
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FiveMinute.net: because stuff is long and life is short

[03:17] FiveMinZeke: Galactica clearly needs the advanced technology of scissors, which get around the whole "yanking on your follicles" problem.
[03:17] IJD: cylons can hack any blades working in conjunction
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Old 06-11-2005, 06:43 PM
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I love the comic adaption! So good! Every bit of it! Laugh out loud funny! I'm almost in violation of using too many !'s, aren't I!

Quote:
Odo: Just a second, what's a four letter word for "a rapid expansion or increase".
BOOOOM

***
Sisko:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO...
Kira:Geez, could you hurry up and finish your dive? the assasination attempt was two days ago.
Sisko:OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
And...for that matter...the TJI is also laugh-out-loud funny.
Quote:
When pointed out that this was, in fact, a limerick, Lofton was unfazed.
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Old 06-11-2005, 07:39 PM
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I love the comic adaption! So good! Every bit of it! Laugh out loud funny!
I particularly liked the little "Aquino was here" sign in the plasma conduit.

Quote:
Joseph: By the way, here's the necklace that Sarah left for you.
Sisko: And you're just now telling me this? I almost sold it for a bowl of stew.
Which would make the necklace his birthright, yes? Wow, I actually got one.

Quote:
Kira: Bajoran Missile Crisis, indeed! Forget the bay of those prigs, I'm setting up a blockade against those Russ-- Romulans.
This one's got stretch-marks on it.

Quote:
Bashir: So here's the sun, what do we do now?
O'Brien: Well, first we find the part of the sun we need to fire at.
Bashir: Hopefully it's on the outside.
Worf: Relax, Doctor. Have a drink. How about a Corona?
*wince* Geek humour. Well played.

Quote:
Sisko: Hello? Prophets? Why am I back in the white room?
That room needs some curtains. Possibly black.

Quote:
Sarah: See, I took over your mother and forced her to marry Joseph against her will. It's fun screwing with mortals.
Sisko: By screwing, you do just mean "messing with" right?
Sarah: Er...
Sisko: On second thought, don't answer that.
Hah! Yick factor 12.

Quote:
Worf: OMG, u spoke 2 me. Now were BFF!!1!
If he were any other man I would kill him where he stood, but he's kinda big and, y'know, fictional.

Quote:
Marritza: That's beside the point! I'm guilty by association! All my people are guilty for what happened! My war crimes trial will force Cardassia to face the truth about itself!
That's my favourite part of the episode, the season, and quite possibly the series. Harris Yulin's sudden collapse is just stunning. Well handled, Marc.

Also, the omnipresent Sugar Daddies in the comic were great. ItHotP is one of my favourite Derek fivers.
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Old 06-12-2005, 06:03 AM
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Just finished the comic. I love it. I may have to try that myself, if I can get the screen grabs.
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Old 06-13-2005, 04:06 PM
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Quote:
Just finished the comic. I love it.
Me too! It's sort of like the novelization of a movie, only backwards!
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Old 06-13-2005, 05:37 PM
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Thanks one and all for the kudos on the comic. I had a lot of fun putting it together. Since the episode and the fiver should both already be familiar, I tried putting in some visual jokes to add to the humor, which I think worked out well.

I'd also like to thank some others for their help in the comic fiver:

First, the GIMP for being free, free, and easy to use, er, -- well, not being overly difficult -- that is to say, uh, free. (And crossplatform.) And once I figured out how to make triangles for the speech bubbles, things went pretty quickly.

Second, Google Images for helping me find pictures of Sugar Daddies, Rikki-tikki-tavi, Jungle Book characters, olive branches, and various and sundry other pictures, not to mention maybe half of the actual screenshots for the episode until I finally bit the bullet and learned how to make screenshots on my own, which brings me to....

Totem Movie Player, or whatever it's called, for Linux, which allowed me to make screenshots. I have a few issues with the way in which it actually made the screenshots, but whatever, it worked. Stupid Dell decided to disable PowerDVDs screencapture function.

Also, of course, to Tommy Kvarsvik for his earlier comic adaptions, me for my fiver, Zeke for Five-Minute Voyager in general, the DS9 Cast and Crew for the original episode, Gene Roddenberry for Star Trek, Thomas Edison for TV, the Roman Empire for discovering America in the first place, and Alexander the Great for just being an all-around great guy.

Oh yeah, and to my wife for putting up with me while I was so intently working on this.
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Old 06-13-2005, 08:14 PM
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Quote:
Kor: Ah, you must be that loser I've heard so little about.
I was sort of looking forward to what might happen to what is one of my favorite lines in Trek, but I suppose that it really couldn't be much improved upon.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sa'ar Chasm
That room needs some curtains. Possibly black.
Near the ... oh, never mind.

Great stuff, all of it. Only sorry I'm so tardy in getting around to reading it. (Boy, miss a few days around here ... )
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Old 06-16-2005, 12:04 AM
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Default Comic book for the DS9 Fiver is EXCELLENT!

Derek, your comic book adaption of Five-Minute "In the Hands of the Prophets" is absolutely hysterical! I was reading it past midnight yesterday while several other people in my house were sleeping, and I almost woke up all of them with my laughter. I literally had to smack my hand over my mouth to prevent any loud noise from escaping, and then I had to go for a walk when I was done reading it in order to let out the sounds that I had trapped inside.

Seriously, I haven't laughed so hard since I saw an old episode of "Family Guy" on Cartoon Network a few days ago. Thank you for the awesome comic book!
8) :lol:
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Old 06-16-2005, 07:09 PM
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FatMat... you know, that name rings a bell. Now where have I seen it before, I wonder?
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Old 06-17-2005, 12:30 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PointyHairedJedi
FatMat... you know, that name rings a bell. Now where have I seen it before, I wonder?
I can answer that question for you.

I used to visit this Forum a lot, back in the days before I moved into my own house down here in sunny Florida, and before I started working 60 hours a week in order to maintain all the expenses of living in said house. I've also written a few Fivers for this website but I haven't produced anything new in a <> LONG TIME!

I may quit my job soon so that I can start hanging out on the internet more often. And after that happens, they'll start selling ice cream in Hades (but only to the people who are lactose-intolerant.)
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Old 06-17-2005, 01:06 AM
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Hilarious!


Absoultely Hilarious!


What more can I say?
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Old 06-18-2005, 05:40 PM
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Quote:
Ross: The Romulans want to establish a presence on this station.
Kira: Over my dead body!
Ross: No, that wasn't one of their conditions.
Heheh.

Quote:
Sisko: Just a nameless Bajoran who was a member of the Cult of the Pah-wraiths.
Joseph: How do you know that?
Sisko: His armband was cackling evilly.



Quote:
Ross: Oooh, those sneaky Romulans! How dare they put missiles on your moon!
Kira: Glad we agree. What are you going to do about it?
Ross: Pretty much what I just did. I might wag my finger at Senator Cretak next time I see her too.
Heheh.

Quote:
Bashir: So here's the sun, what do we do now?
O'Brien: Well, first we find the part of the sun we need to fire at.
Bashir: Hopefully it's on the outside.
Worf: Relax, Doctor. Have a drink. How about a Corona?
Heeheehee.



Quote:
Kor: So there I was, all alone, facing thousands of orcs...
Jadzia: I thought Kang and Koloth were there with you.
Kor: So there we were, all alone, facing tens of thousands of orcs, in the blazing hot sun...
Kira: I thought orcs didn't like sunlight.
Kor: So there we were, all alone, facing hundreds of thousands of Uruk Hai, in the blazing hot sun....
Bashir: All this for a ham sandwich?
Kor: Quiet, you! Don't you want to hear why there are bears today?
:lol:

Quote:
Jadzia: Shhh. I wanna hear how this explains why there are bears today.
Worf: Bears today?
Jadzia: All of Kor's stories explain why there are bears today.
'


Quote:
Kor: What a story to tell everyone, we just killed a rodent for lunch.
Jadzia: A rodent of unusual size!
Kor: With fangs! And wings!
Jadzia: From outer space!
Kor: And that's why there are bears today!
Worf: I don't even know why I talk to you people.
:lol:


Quote:
Kira: Why? Do you think I'm too emotionally involved to behave objectively?
Sisko: Do you normally tie knots in your silverware while you're having lunch?
:mrgreen:

Quote:
Kira: And what part did you play in the atrocities the Cardassians committed at the camp?
Marritza: Atrocities? You mean the starvation, the beatings, the rapes, the live burials, the torture, the murders and so on?
Kira: That's right.
Marritza: My goodness! This is the most shocking news I've ever heard! I had no idea such things were going on there!
:twisted:



Quote:
Get to the room for dressing,
Read the script, it's time for stressing,
Search the text,
Is my name next?
No, it's my lines they're suppressing.
Heheheh.

Quote:
Michael Dorn suggested that Lofton include Klingon in his album, but Lofton rejected the idea since Klingon would be both too intelligible and too vulgar for rap music.
Heehee.
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