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  #61  
Old 06-09-2003, 01:16 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Thankfully, Willow was used to turning rodents back into people. So she did. But John was still nowhere in sight. Q tried to find him, but then he realized he was stuck in the convergence and could only do little magic tricks. Willow and Xander did an sexually suggestive locator spell, and they found the whole DS9 crew. "Hello Ben, Kira, Jadzia(nice to see you back from the dead) Kai Wen,(ditto) Ezri and Bashir, Rom, Odo, Jake, O'Brien, Gul Dukat, Weyoun/Brunt, Female Shapeshifter, Leeta, Kassidy, Molly, Garak, Damar, and the rest. I'm Quark Snyder, and welcome to The Sci-Fi Convergence."said Quark Snyder.
"Yes, but where is John? I want John! He's beefy" said Josie. And suddenly, 99redluftballoons went by.[/colorost_uid0]
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  #62  
Old 06-09-2003, 06:05 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]The balloons all exploded suddenly, leaving everyone with ringing ears. Rom started screaming hysterically and had to be clubbed into silence by the rest of the DS9 crew.

"The situation is getting worse and worse!" wailed Josie. "SOMETHING must be done!"[/colorost_uid0]
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  #63  
Old 06-09-2003, 07:21 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Willow then dispatched the Borg ships, though still could not find John. "Maybe he wondered into the TARDIS and got lost?" mused the Doctor. "It wouldn't be the first time you know. I'll send K9 off to search for him". Joise looked thoughtful for a moment, then exclaimed suddenly, "The pies!". Everyone hurried to finish the pies, and the 47th came out of the oven just as the Piealith was visible hoving into view in orbit above them. It glowed brightly for a moment, then spun faster and faster until it eventually exploded and showered the whole world with bits of custard. "Well," said Picard, "that's that out of the way at least."[/colorost_uid0]
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  #64  
Old 06-10-2003, 12:53 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]"Hold it" said Ezri, taking a break from Bashir, "But um, there's another, bigger, scarier Piealith coming our way! Look!"
*smoochies*"Wow, you're right" said Crusher. *Picard/Crusher smoochies*"Maybe this is another Apocolypse" said Spike,with really good sunscreen *Scoobies smoochies* "Puny hu-man students. The River of Homework will take of us" *Quark Snyder doesnt get any smoochies*
John walked in. Josie cheered for joy.
"Our only hope, the one who is powerful enough to cause the Convergence and the Piealith, and stop all this stuff, too" said Q. Â
John looked around."What? I just went for some pizza"[/colorost_uid0]

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  #65  
Old 06-10-2003, 05:13 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]"What the hell does this have to do with the plot?" Josie said.
"I don't think there even is a plot," Xander said. "It would explain a lot."
"Oh, sod off," the author used Spike to say.[/colorost_uid0]
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  #66  
Old 06-10-2003, 04:18 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]So John used his powers to destroy the Piealith while eating his pizza. Josie said, "That was a cool trick." John also sent everyone back to the places where they belonged with his last ounce of energy. However, he sent everyone to the wrong place, the train station. "Why are we back here again?" asked Odo. Meanwhile back whereever they were, Josie tended to John, who didnt look well. "Josie, you must find the others. I think they are lost in time." exclaimed John with his last breathe.[/colorost_uid0]
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  #67  
Old 06-10-2003, 04:43 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]"That sounds more like my department", said the Doctor emerging from the TARDIS which for some reason had not been affected by John's powers. Â "Would anyone like some Yantrellian goat's cheese? I found it in the fridge." Noticing Josie's wary look, he replied, "It's perfectly fresh. It's only been in there for a mere 307 years. No time at all really."
"Maybe you should give it to Neelix," croaked John.
Meanwhile, over in the train station everyone was very glum, aoart from Q who was just jealous. Geordi, who had been silent for quite a while, suddenl piped up. "I've been thinking, and all this stuff just seems too wierd to be true. I think we must be on some kind of holodeck." No sooner had he spoken than the station around them started to flicker, everyone (including Josie, John, the Doctor, Romana and K9 who had been in the TARDIS) found themselves in a vast holo-chamber. The doors at the far end opened and who should walk in but Sloane....[/colorost_uid0]
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  #68  
Old 06-11-2003, 01:10 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]"Hi everybody" said Sloane. "Hi secret agent man Sloane" said everybody. "Welcome to the Convergence Centre of Sci-Fi-ness. This was your introduction. We had to make sure you were ready, and since you even knew that you had to have a 'shipper ep, you are ready" said Sloane. "
"Yes, indeed they are. I have been watching from within. I usually do not like these types of tests, but this time it was fun." Giles said."But, Giles, you...watcher!" said Xander.
"Hi, we are the Gaurdians, and Section 31, and the FBI" said the Slayer Guardian."There is a problem: Trite sitcoms are making a comeback, that and bad reality shows.. And we need to make The Ultimate Sci-Fi Show. Welcome. You are the Chosen Ones:BTVS, DS9, NextGen, and the rest."[/colorost_uid0]

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  #69  
Old 06-11-2003, 02:23 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]"But," Picard pointed out, "everytime we all get together, absolute mayhem occurs! There's even less of a coherent plot than in a standard Enterprise episode!"

"True," said the Slayer Guardian. "But then that's not really our fault, is it?" At this, he turned a pointed glance at the forumgoers.

A muted shriek was heard far-off, and suddenly enormous rock-like cookies began raining down on the crew, courtesy of annoyed forumgoers who didn't like their story-telling skills being insulted.

"Now look what you've done!" howled Quark-Snyder and an extremely large rock cookie bounced off his head.[/colorost_uid0]
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  #70  
Old 06-12-2003, 01:19 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]The cookies were still falling, but Willow had stopped them from hurting anyone but Quark Snyder."They are ones bugging us! And calling me a "he" " said the female Slayer Gaurdian, since all guardians are female. "Some dont know enough about Buffy, some dont know enough about the Dr WHO (they think its World Health Org.) the and Cybermen." Ben, Kira, Jadzi, Kai Wen, Ezri and Bashir, Rom, Odo, Jake, O'Brien, Gul Dukat, Weyoun/Brunt, Female Shapeshifter, Leeta, Kassidy, Molly, Garak, Damar, and the rest laughed. "Well, they all know about US!" said Jake. "And it's my turn for a plot!" Jake then realized something."I am The Kid of the Emissary. I can save the Convergense. I am a writer. I can write us a plot! I am more talented than the forumgoers!" So he did.[/colorost_uid0]
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  #71  
Old 06-12-2003, 02:17 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Meanwhile, since it was Wednesday, O'Pipp walked up and slew an Alternate Universe Jonas who had appeared out of thin air for precisely that purpose.

Jake sighed. "There goes our PG rating," he said.

"I WANT MY SPOONS!" one of the Doctors suddenly shouted.

"There [iost_uid0]is[/iost_uid0] no spoon!" Neo retorted.[/colorost_uid0]

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  #72  
Old 06-12-2003, 02:36 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]"See?!?!" howled Picard. "There it goes again! THEY are the enemy! They must be stopped!

Jake produced a magic typewriter from nowhere and started typing rapidly. "This should help!" he said. "Maybe we'll have more of a coherent storyline now."

"What are you doing?" Quark Snyder asked him.

"I'm plotting our escape. Shh! I need to think!"[/colorost_uid0]
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  #73  
Old 06-12-2003, 03:05 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Just when he started to give up on a brilliant plan, an idea hit him like a ton of spoons, literally. "Where did these spoons come from?" asked Jake. "You wanted to escape, right?" asked Quark Snyder. "I thought we had no spoons in the kitchen" said Neo, who had a confused look on his face. "I also thought I was dead in the first scene of this story" continued Neo. "Well, we needed to bring you back into the plot for legal reasons, "said Jake. "Well, then can I be someone who can fly really fast and can dodge pies?" asked Neo. "There is only room for one superhero around here," said John, who had just woke up from a long nap and was holding a pizza. "Fine, I will settle for the hacker," said Neo.[/colorost_uid0]
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  #74  
Old 06-12-2003, 08:04 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Tara gave Neo a magical computer, he shut up. Jake was happy. He finally had a plot-where he could right the plot! *Jake's writing the plot now*
Anya suddenly had very strong attraction to Jake. The spoons stop falling, and there was a large sound. Kai Win was hitting Dukat on the head. "I came back from hell for THIS?" said Dukat. "I was in heaaaaaavvvvveeeeennn, and my friends pulled my out to this hell. But I get to pump Spike." said Buffy. Quark Snyder said "Hu-man, you do not even talk about PDA when I'm around! Tell me more" And Jake had a plot!"That's it!" he said, "Look at Quark Snyder. How come he's both here? He is the Convergence Ideal. He can lead us to coherent plot!" Sloane and Gaurdians were pleased. They had run out of ideas. The forumgoers where also pleased.[/colorost_uid0]

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  #75  
Old 06-14-2003, 01:09 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]"Let's throw Jake a party!" exclaimed 17 in delight.

"Wait!" yelled NAH. "You're not supposed to be writing us into the story!"

"I'm... not?" 17 looked confused. "But it's Friday."

All the assorted peoples who had been in the story up till then turned and gave the forumgoers a strange look. "Now, how am I supposed to write THIS into the story?" yellled Jake.

"17! What have you done!" wailed Opium, as orange-flavoured cookies started raining on the scene.[/colorost_uid0]

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  #76  
Old 06-14-2003, 01:25 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]"17, portraying me as yelling isnt going to improve what I do to you!" continued Opium. And suddenly, 17 had a horrible, throbbing desire to be Quark Snyder's wife. Sisko married them. Jake was pleased. "Good, now we can have a shipper ep" he said. Tara and Willow had a picnic, but Xander watched from behind a tree while he had picnic with Jake and Anya, who was staring at Spike and Buffy doing it inside Sloane's office. Crusher and Picard ate crousants and coffee with Ezri/Bashir and Odo/Kira. Everything was peachy keen. "There's always something bad in Shipper ep" said Giles. And suddenly Sloane was boinked in the head with a pie. Chris Carter walked in. "That's for not including XFiles in the Ultimate Scifi series". "Time to kick some Carter butt, let's get dirty" said Buffy. "Now THIS is a party" said Jake.[/colorost_uid0]

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  #77  
Old 06-14-2003, 06:56 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Neo agreed, but added, "Still, we're missing something...Oh, I know what it is."

"What?" Jake wanted to know.

"Can't say," Neo apologized. "This is Saturday, and the two haven't been mentioned recently. Let's just say it rhymes with BonC."

Josie, John, K9, Romana, and six of the Doctors copied Beverly Crusher's trick from a short time ago by just looking quizzically at the speaker.





[iost_uid0]And just for the record
[quoteost_uid0="taya17"]"Wait!" yelled NAH. "You're not supposed to be writing us into the story!"[/quoteost_uid0]
taya17 has managed to nail me here :O, but I don't mind her writing us in. [/iost_uid0][/colorost_uid0]
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  #78  
Old 06-14-2003, 09:41 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Jake decided he needed to write a filler scene, so he wrote about the fight. Christ Carter tried wimply to fight Buffy, but he just could not fight her. Xander and Spike joined in, and finally Picard gave the order to "Fire at Chris at Will." Carter was subdued, Crusher treated him, and he was taken to the Paramount Wacky Science Research Hospital to rest. Anya wasn't impressed by Xander, and she stayed with Jake, so Xander went all Spike-y on Jake. But Bashir seperated the two, and Ezri counselled them on how not to fight. Quark Snyder said, "Now now hu-mans, fighting wont get you anywhere unless it's on Pay-Per-View." Slayer Gaurdian, who was about to lose her spot, said, "Quark Snyder, why do you keep getting pointless little lines everywhere?" "Because" Opium said. That was a satisfactory answer.[/colorost_uid0]
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  #79  
Old 06-15-2003, 06:00 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Taya gave Jake some ideas for his story, including characters he could use, like Zeke, Kira, Sax, NAHTMMM, and NeoMatrix. "NeoMatrix? We already have Neo, "said Jake. "He is the Neo in the Matrix. You understand now?" asked Tara. "Oh ok," said Jake.

Opium decided it was time to start a subplot. She wanted to go on a quest, a quest to seek the holy pie. This was the only pie that was not destroyed by the Piealith, but was lost and never seen again.[/colorost_uid0]

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Old 06-15-2003, 10:46 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]"Hey, Neo, I'm a GIRL. GRRRL!" said Opium. Spike, who Opium likes, suddenly attacked Neomatrix, since he isnt human. Opium found the pie, John was eating it, and she served it at the picnic. Meanwhile, Quark Snyder, Anya, Kai Win, Dukat, Q, Wesley, and Goldmember got together to plan an evil plan. Sloane and the Gaurdians, however, stopped them, or so they thought. Jake said,"No no NO what's happening to my plot?" Sisko said, "Jake, I am your father" "I know that, dad". But then Jake realized, he was having a Prophet moment. "The son of the One must have a bun" said Prophet Riker. "The Son of the One must write a pun" said Prophet Trio. "The Son of the One must be able to run" said Prophet Worf. Jake took this newfound knowledge back with him, and began to write the plot for the Convergence.[/colorost_uid0]
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