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  #801  
Old 09-19-2004, 10:29 PM
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5. Bill Murray: "Cause and Effect". It's nice to know that even centuries into the future people still get caught up in nasty time loop thingies.
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  #802  
Old 09-20-2004, 07:53 AM
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4. Adolf Hitler: "The Killing Game". It's nice to know that his work is still being appreciated, even in the 24th century.
3. Walter Mitty: "Tinker, Tenor, Doctor, Spy". Suddenly, he doesn't feel so alone after all...
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  #803  
Old 09-21-2004, 09:26 AM
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2. Tom Arnold: Genesis-Tom realizes why he is so goofy.
1. Bill Gates: Emergence-Finally! People who understand why Windows is so tempramental! It's developed its own personality! It's on Star Trek, people!

Top Ten "Next Generation" Episodes that could have gone horribly wrong

(real, fake, or Opium induced...I mean created... :wink: )
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  #804  
Old 09-27-2004, 01:58 AM
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10. "The Host" - Riker and Beverly could have gone to more than just one kiss... into what could have been the worst `ship of that time. :mrgreen:

9. "Inner Light" - At the end, Picard could have simply woken up and said: "Arrrr, I have to get off this rum, it`s giving me most wacky little dreams!"

8. "Emergence" - Enterprise could have built an army of Evil Lemmings of Doom. :P :mrgreen:

7. "Tapestry" - We might have learned that, during his Academy days, Picard had been earning some extra money as a male stripper.

6. "The Measure of a Man" - Data is deemed non-sentient and dismantled into 47 cell phones. A toaster with a built-in Oxford dictionary of synonyms and a speaker is dispatched on the Enterprise to replace him.

5. "Face of the Enemy" - While posing as a Tal Shiar officer on the Romulan Warbird, Troi pushes the wrong button and destroys the Enterprise. Whoops!

4. "Galaxy`s Child" - Geordi actually scores with Dr. Leah Brahms. GASP! We can`t have THAT!

3. "Violations" - Oh wait. That one *did* go horribly wrong. Man, how that episode sucked.

2. "Chain of Command" - Picard is captured by that evil Cardassian guy, who turns out to be a huge Shakespeare fan. They spend the rest of the two-part episode debating about the plays and quoting scenes at one another ("There. Are. Four. Henrys! - Nooo! What about Henry the Fifth?")


and...


1."Cost of Living" - In the final scene, when Lwaxana shows up naked for her wedding, the director decides to film her full frontal. :twisted: :twisted:


NEXT -

Top 10 Dukat`s Fantasies About Spiting/Humiliating/Hurting Ben Sisko
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  #805  
Old 09-27-2004, 04:57 AM
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xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

INTERMISSION




Top Ten Quotes from Recent IRC Chats That I Was Around For


10. Apparently there's a foonie in the works.
Five dollar coin. Loonie, toonie, foonie.

9. If it follows the trend, it'll be huge.
You'll be able to use it as a coaster.
Might as well use paper money then
Keep the coins as coasters
Coinage that can be used as cup-mats is frankly going too far :P
And ammo to throw at burglars
No, we have Inuit carvings for that.

8. Yes, and Wily's behind Sigma.
Is Sigma the sum of all Wily's evil?

7. Nan?
Ginga?
You 2 there?
* NAHTMMM uses the 5d12 Pokey Attack on Ginga and Nan's Not-Hereness Effects
!roll 5 12
Rolling a 12-sided die 5 times.
Roll 1: 11
Roll 2: 7
Roll 3: 11
Roll 4: 12
Roll 5: 2
Total of 43
Success!

6. When Chaud hangs out, he's a hanging Chaud.

5. Thought it might
Be
Like a pencil
2B, or not 2B
Heh
Normally people hit me when I use that one
Can't think why
Xeroc joined the channel (gx8v1n72c@admin.localhost)
* Xeroc Slaps PHJ!
That pun stunk!

4. [quoting Google results]"looks set to make some serious waves with releases from DJ Pierre, Eric Prydz, Sumo and his own MYNC Project with DJ Partner Nic Corelli."
>_>
GASP!
BUSTED!
Are you serious?
Yes
(Oooh, there is a Nic in the Indian Parliament )
GASP!
Well, yes, I admit it
GASP!
I have been playing... Celine Dion
GAK!
I confess to my heinous crime!
I shall be executed, I know
But I guess that is a fair punishment
Considering what I inflicted on innocent victims

3. Your spleen may stop but your heart will go on.

2. but I shall take over the world...with an army of Met-hats!
Rise, Met-hat army!

1. Zeke, sometimes I worry about you
Then other times I laugh
Sometimes I build little shrines to dead animals too, but that's neither here nor there
.....
NINJA!
GAH!
GAH!
Oh, sorry. GAH!



And in conclusion...come to IRC chats, they're fun and spawn lots of forum in-jokes!



INTERMISSION OVER

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“There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct.” -- Isto Combs
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  #806  
Old 09-27-2004, 04:59 AM
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Indeed they do. I have a feeling Poonies will never be forgotten.
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  #807  
Old 09-29-2004, 09:28 PM
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Dukat's Top 10 Fantasies About Spiting/Humiliating/Hurting Ben Sisko


10. "Ah yes, Commander Si--You're not Commander Sisko, you're his father, Jenjavivvle I believe. I wish to speak with the real commander, Jake. ...What do you mean, you're still the commander? Hasn't Starfleet realized yet that young untrained mischievous Jake is already twice the commander you'll ever be?"

9. Photoshopping a Pah-wraith's face onto Ben Sisko's body and sending the picture to all the tabloids he can think of

8. Hacking into Sisko's computer and programming it to do nothing but show replays of Cincinnati Bengals games whenever he requests anything baseball-related

7. Sending him one of those gag mirrors for his birthday. You know, the ones that shatter the glass when they detect their intended recipient is trying out the mirror.

6. Tricking Sisko into taking the losing side of a bet, then making him wear a clown costume complete with funny nose and floppy shoes for a week as payment

5. "Yo' poppa's a short-order cook!"

4. Sending a crack team of commandos to paint Cardassian symbols all over the Defiant eight hours before the stiff admiral arrives for the station inspection

3. "Benjamin Sisko, you are the most pathetically honest, upstanding, principled Starfleet officer I have ever seen!"

2. Show up in the Cardassian equivalent of a wimpy shuttle and challenge him to a race (BEFORE the Defiant is assigned to the station of course )

1. "Commander Sisko, I demand to speak with you--oh, hello. Admiral Gullible, is it? I was just going to ask Mister Sisko here about that marvelously cunning coup he's planning against you, but that can wait..."



Next:

Top Ten Ways Specific 5MV Forumgoers Would Change a Lightbulb
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“There must have been a point in early human history when it was actually advantageous to, when confronted with a difficult task, drop it altogether and go do something more fun, because I do that way too often for it to be anything but instinct.” -- Isto Combs
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  #808  
Old 09-30-2004, 09:29 AM
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10. Zeke: He'll get to it soon.
9. Taya: *glares*
8. Xeroc: "Can't right now, on IRC."
7. Cat: She'd take out the old one, put in a new one...sheesh.
6. NeoMatrix: "But it's fun to play in the dark!" :P
5. Opium: I took out the old one...but I have to go do a media diary, read a script, and watch CSI right now, and possibly start a TopTenList...oh, and then bed...and then I won't need the lightbulb until tomorow night anyways...so I'll get putting in the lightbulb tomorow...do I have any lightbulbs? I should go look..."
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Opium, Princess Heroine of Laudanum...Part of The Morphine Party: The Party For Not... Crushing... Me? :shock:
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  #809  
Old 10-01-2004, 01:35 AM
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6. NeoMatrix: "But it's fun to play in the dark!"

No No No!
I would say, "There is no lightbulb", then turn into light myself
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  #810  
Old 10-01-2004, 02:51 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Opium
8. Xeroc: "Can't right now, on IRC."
Either that or program the IrcAssistant to do it for me!

Yay! My first try at a (partial) top ten list!

4. PHJ: Just tell PHJ and PHJ to do it.
3. Sa'ar Chasm: Oh yeah, it burned out all right.
2. Nic Corelli: In Croatia, lightbulbs change themselves. :twisted: (Okay, they really don't, but it would be pretty cool.)
1. Kira: Nag Zeke to change it.

Next: The top ten most unusual things to happen in 5MV (fivers, forums, irc, anything!)
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  #811  
Old 10-01-2004, 08:03 AM
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1) Zeke means "soon" by "soon" and does things "soon" :twisted:
2) Due to a time warp, top ten lists start at no.1 :twisted:
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  #812  
Old 10-03-2004, 11:51 AM
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The top ten most unusual things to happen in 5MV

3. The eTrektion and all that goes with it...
4. Taya17 and her tricks!
5. CSi being talked about in a sci-fi forum.
5. CSI being talked about in a sci-fi forum.
4. Forumgoers inside jokes making it into 5MV content
3. Evil Dutch Woman being a popular saying.
2. John being outlived by TopHatMan.
1. TopHatMan!

Top Ten Ways Individual Trek Characters would Change A Lightbulb
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Opium, Princess Heroine of Laudanum...Part of The Morphine Party: The Party For Not... Crushing... Me? :shock:
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  #813  
Old 10-03-2004, 01:54 PM
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Top Ten Ways Individual Trek Characters would Change A Lightbulb:

10: Deanna Troi would feel the lightbulbs pain, but wouldn't actually be able to change it herself. She'd make someone else do it.
9: Seven of Nine wouldn't change the lightbulb. Seeing is irrellivant.
8: Picard would sew it back in. ("make it sew" :wink: )
7: Chakotay would tell it an ancient legend about how long ago his forefathers had changed the lightbulb of life. Eventually, it would become so bored it would change itself.
6: Quark would sell the lightbulb as an ancient artifact, then dismantle the light fittings and sell them too.
5: Scotty would claim the lightbulb cannie take much more o' this.
4: Janeway would only change the bulb if it was needed to see her coffee mug.
3: Porthos would eat the lightbulb, thinking it was cheese.
2: Malcolm would shoot it, and ask questions later, claiming it was a threat the the ship.
1: Naomi Wildman would stand on a chair and change it, coz its the only way she could reach it.

Next: Top Ten things replicated by Star Trek Characters.
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  #814  
Old 10-09-2004, 08:58 PM
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10. Kirk: a bad hairpiece.
9. Picard: Hair.
8. Sisko: Baseball. Not just a baseball, but everything involved in it, right down to the players.
7. Wesley: A friend.
6. Data: A toaster.
5. Mayweather: Lines.
4. Hoshi: A book of love poems, in an unknown dialect.
3. Harry: A couple of rank pips.
2. Tuvok: A personality.
1. Janeway: Coffee, what else?

Next list: Top ten ways that Enterprise would be different if it had the cast of DS9

edit: Woot! My 300th post!
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  #815  
Old 10-10-2004, 05:03 AM
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Top ten ways that Enterprise would be different if it had the cast of DS9

10. It would have a plot.
9. Jake Sisko Mayweather would have lines...no, wait, he wouldn't.
8. There would need to be a really big explanation on why Bajorans are in a human-built ship in the 22nd century. Evil Future Prophets would therefore be in every episode.
7. No...freeking...Nazi Aliens. However, Captian Sisko-Archer would go back in time and change history so that he, not Sidney Poitier, who stars in "The Heat Of the Night", which would take place on a space station that had a black captian and...
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Opium, Princess Heroine of Laudanum...Part of The Morphine Party: The Party For Not... Crushing... Me? :shock:
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  #816  
Old 10-10-2004, 05:11 AM
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5. CSI being talked about in a sci-fi forum. (Heeheehee! No thanks to me. :lol

And Alexia's entire list gets a big XD.
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  #817  
Old 10-12-2004, 10:24 AM
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4. The doctor would spend most of his time playing on the Interspacenet while the nurses did the actual life-saving procedures.
3. The chief engineer wouldn't go around flirting with the drug-addicted officer from the other planet's team.
2. More youth and kids onboard, who would often occasionally give thought-provoking moments, such as dealing with time-travelling on the cheap, writing for a propaganda newspaper and being addicted to Holodeck por...erm, loungesingers.
1. The chief engineer would defenetly NOT be taking his shirt off in every...any... ep!

Top Ten Reasons Time Travel Is So Yesterday!
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Opium, Princess Heroine of Laudanum...Part of The Morphine Party: The Party For Not... Crushing... Me? :shock:
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  #818  
Old 10-12-2004, 11:27 PM
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You do realize that there's no 6 and 5 on that list, right?

10. We just did it tomorrow.
9. Keep running into Janeway.
8. That last one wasn't repetitive!
7. It gets repetitive.
6. Hmm, that sounds like a ripoff, better go back to #8 and pre-emptively defend myself.
5. Those Temporal Police get awfully annoying.
4. It's not edible.
3. You often bump into yourself, realizing, you really are kind of annoying.
2. You never have the time to find spare parts when your time machine breaks down.
1. Yesterday hasn't happened yet, so, naturally, it's in style.

The Top Ten Top Ten Lists. (real or not!)
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  #819  
Old 10-13-2004, 12:33 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Xeroc
The Top Ten Top Ten Lists. (real or not!)

Oops! Approximately 15 pages ago, we already had that exact list! I clearly remember it, it was by Standback! :mrgreen:
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  #820  
Old 10-13-2004, 01:01 AM
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You do realize that there's no 6 and 5 on that list, right?


Oops! There is a 5, but no 6!

So...

6. Water polo would be banned for the superior sport of baseball, as in 2154, hockey is still on strike.
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Opium, Princess Heroine of Laudanum...Part of The Morphine Party: The Party For Not... Crushing... Me? :shock:
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Please vote Morphine! (Thanks, Zeke!)
Needing more sleep since before 2003
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