The Five-Minute Forums  

Go Back   The Five-Minute Forums > FiveMinute.net > Science Fiction

View Poll Results: Most-wanted Tech
Warp dive/hyperdrive/jump gates/whatever 2 20.00%
Tricorders (whir whir whir ) 1 10.00%
Hyposprays (the real kind, not those tanks and hoses) 0 0%
PADDs (we know they can do more than Palmpilots) 0 0%
Transporters (one that works) 2 20.00%
Replicators (tea, Earl Grey, hot) 4 40.00%
Commbadges (chirping optional) 0 0%
Lightsabres (I see your Swartz is as big as mine) 0 0%
Phasers (so we can blink them to death) 1 10.00%
Cybernetic eyes (VISORs can look tacky) 0 0%
Voters: 10. You may not vote on this poll

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
  #1  
Old 12-02-2006, 10:58 AM
Nate the Great's Avatar
Nate the Great Nate the Great is offline
You just activated his Trek card
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 4,859
Default Most desired Sci-Fi Invention

Okay, we've all watched upteen science fiction universes. They all have their own set of devices, technologies, medicines, etc. that don't exist in the world today. That's why it's called sci-fi.

So this poll and discussion is for these devices. If you could have one of them in a cost-effective, nonpolluting, bug-free (or at least as bug-free as Trek gets ) way, which one?
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
Reply With Quote
  #2  
Old 12-02-2006, 11:07 AM
Nate the Great's Avatar
Nate the Great Nate the Great is offline
You just activated his Trek card
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 4,859
Default

Oh, and before you ask, holodecks aren't on the list because they're just dangerous, and even if they did work, everyone would be like Scott Adams and just lock themselves in and not come out until they died of exhaustion.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
Reply With Quote
  #3  
Old 12-02-2006, 06:42 PM
Chancellor Valium's Avatar
Chancellor Valium Chancellor Valium is offline
Reasonably priced male pills
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2004
Location: Rhen Var, sitting on a radiator...
Posts: 4,595
Send a message via MSN to Chancellor Valium
Default

OK - these are all Star Trek inventions...this wasn't the thread I was sold.

Anyway, the device I most want from sci-fi is a TARDIS. Duh.
__________________
O to be wafted away
From this black aceldama of sorrow;
Where the dust of an earthy today
Is the earth of a dusty tomorrow!
Reply With Quote
  #4  
Old 12-02-2006, 07:02 PM
mudshark's Avatar
mudshark mudshark is offline
Is he ever gonna hit Krazy Kat, or what?
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: UMRK
Posts: 1,738
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Infinite Improbability View Post
... bug-free (or at least as bug-free as Trek gets )
And when was that, exactly?
__________________
Methinks Ted Sturgeon was too kind.

'Yes, but I think some people should be offended.'
-- John Cleese (on whether he thought some might be offended by Monty Python)
Reply With Quote
  #5  
Old 12-02-2006, 07:59 PM
Sa'ar Chasm's Avatar
Sa'ar Chasm Sa'ar Chasm is offline
Our last, best hope for peace
Staff
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Sitting (in Ottawa)
Posts: 3,425
Default

Speaking as a chemist, I have to go with a tricorder. Those little gizmos can tell you everything about anything in a matter of seconds. The entire field of analytical chemistry can be made obsolete overnight by one handheld device, and thousands of labtechs will be put out of work.

The most time-consuming part of research after multi-hour reactions is figuring out what exactly is in the goo you made. This often involves very complicated, very expensive instrumentation. Being able to wave a tricorder over the flask and know the concentration of everything in it is a huge time-saver, plus I imagine it would be able to image my nanoparticles in situ, so I wouldn't have to haul them halfway across the city and wash all the protecting ligands off in order to be able to look at them with the electron microscope.

Next up: purification techniques. What I wouldn't give for transporter chromatography: dematerialise a sample, and then rematerialise it with all the various compounds in different beakers.
__________________
The first run through of any experimental procedure is to identify any potential errors by making them.
Reply With Quote
  #6  
Old 12-02-2006, 08:32 PM
Nate the Great's Avatar
Nate the Great Nate the Great is offline
You just activated his Trek card
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 4,859
Default

Uh, was that photo link supposed to be relevant? It's just Kirk looking skyward, most likely in the middle of one of his philosophical rants.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
Reply With Quote
  #7  
Old 12-02-2006, 09:45 PM
evay's Avatar
evay evay is offline
But if you put the hammer in an elevator...
Member
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: Deck Four, Section Seven
Posts: 522
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by Infinite Improbability View Post
Uh, was that photo link supposed to be relevant? It's just Kirk looking skyward, most likely in the middle of one of his philosophical rants.
There's supposed to be a shot of Kirk in "The Paradise Syndrome" shouting "I AM KIROK!" with a fly perched on his head, but I haven't actually seen it myself. Maybe that's what it was supposed to have been?
__________________
Any truth is better than indefinite doubt. — Sherlock Holmes
"The Adventure of the Yellow Face," Arthur Conan Doyle
Reply With Quote
  #8  
Old 12-02-2006, 10:40 PM
ijdgaf's Avatar
ijdgaf ijdgaf is offline
Unabridged
Senior Staff
 
Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Hurricaneland
Posts: 791
Send a message via ICQ to ijdgaf Send a message via AIM to ijdgaf Send a message via MSN to ijdgaf
Default

Whoa, flies can perch?
__________________
YOU READ IT...

...YOU CAN\'T UNREAD IT!
Reply With Quote
  #9  
Old 12-03-2006, 12:22 AM
mudshark's Avatar
mudshark mudshark is offline
Is he ever gonna hit Krazy Kat, or what?
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: UMRK
Posts: 1,738
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by evay View Post
There's supposed to be a shot of Kirk in "The Paradise Syndrome" shouting "I AM KIROK!" with a fly perched on his head, but I haven't actually seen it myself. Maybe that's what it was supposed to have been?
Thought that was Belloq in Raiders of the Lost Ark.

Actually, no -- the photo was a joke, sorta -- it came from 'Wink of an Eye'. Kirk is seen on the planet Scalos, waving away what he thinks are insects.
__________________
Methinks Ted Sturgeon was too kind.

'Yes, but I think some people should be offended.'
-- John Cleese (on whether he thought some might be offended by Monty Python)
Reply With Quote
  #10  
Old 12-03-2006, 01:12 AM
Nate the Great's Avatar
Nate the Great Nate the Great is offline
You just activated his Trek card
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 4,859
Default

Oh, you were tying into my joke, and I didn't get it. Um, okay...

ijdgaf: Whoa, flies can perch?

Suddenly I thought of a fly perched on a gargoyle in Gotham City wearing the cape and cowl: Batfly!
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
Reply With Quote
  #11  
Old 12-03-2006, 02:49 AM
Celeste's Avatar
Celeste Celeste is offline
Insert canine joke here
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: USS Crazy Horse
Posts: 775
Send a message via AIM to Celeste Send a message via MSN to Celeste Send a message via Yahoo to Celeste
Default

I'd still want Holodecks over anything else. So the characters get minds of their own and revolt against you. That's what makes it all the more fun!
__________________
Dental Hygienists are X-Rayted.

*´¨)
¸.·´¸.·*´¨) ¸.·*¨)
(¸.·´ (¸.·`Floss Naked!
Reply With Quote
  #12  
Old 12-03-2006, 03:15 PM
e of pi's Avatar
e of pi e of pi is offline
Outnumbered
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
Posts: 2,642
Send a message via MSN to e of pi
Default

I want a replicator. The field of model building as I know it would change forever. Also, we could complete the destruction of the US as an industrial powerhouse and kick the legs out from under China. Sounds like fun!
__________________
e of pi, fastest keyboard in the fora.

e of pi: I know you have too much free time.
Ddoof: HEY!
e of pi: Well, so does anyone who posts on 5M.net. It comes from the extra 55 minutes.

We are the BSG. Your resources and injokes wil be added to our own, depleting your fanbase. Resistance is futile. So say we all.
Member of the Persons Who Believe that Ryan Connors Leslie Should Have Lines in Other Series Since He's Hardly In TOS Fivers
Reply With Quote
  #13  
Old 12-03-2006, 06:40 PM
Derek's Avatar
Derek Derek is offline
Dean of misderektion
Senior Staff
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Sector 001
Posts: 1,106
Default

Quote:
Originally Posted by e of pi View Post
I want a replicator. The field of model building as I know it would change forever. Also, we could complete the destruction of the US as an industrial powerhouse and kick the legs out from under China. Sounds like fun!
Not to mention more mundane things you could do with a replicator like eliminate hunger, poverty, capitalism, copyright law, and the shortage of Wiis.
__________________
"Please, Aslan," said Lucy, "what do you call soon?"
"I call all times soon," said Aslan; and instantly he vanished away and Lucy was alone with the Magician.
Reply With Quote
  #14  
Old 12-03-2006, 08:08 PM
Sa'ar Chasm's Avatar
Sa'ar Chasm Sa'ar Chasm is offline
Our last, best hope for peace
Staff
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Sitting (in Ottawa)
Posts: 3,425
Default

Quote:
Not to mention more mundane things you could do with a replicator like eliminate hunger, poverty, capitalism, copyright law, and the shortage of Wiis.
Sure, nobody's got a job, but all their needs are met by the box on the wall.

One wonders how they make furniture from such a small box, though. Maybe they do it a piece at a time. Hah! ReplIkeator.
__________________
The first run through of any experimental procedure is to identify any potential errors by making them.
Reply With Quote
  #15  
Old 12-03-2006, 09:40 PM
mudshark's Avatar
mudshark mudshark is offline
Is he ever gonna hit Krazy Kat, or what?
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: UMRK
Posts: 1,738
Default

Børk! Børk! Børk!
__________________
Methinks Ted Sturgeon was too kind.

'Yes, but I think some people should be offended.'
-- John Cleese (on whether he thought some might be offended by Monty Python)
Reply With Quote
  #16  
Old 12-04-2006, 12:30 AM
Nate the Great's Avatar
Nate the Great Nate the Great is offline
You just activated his Trek card
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 4,859
Default

Uh, I don't think it's that easy. Even replicators can't be a hundred percent effective, even if everything they create gets recycled, which it's not. You'll still need an external power source.

I'd never set foot in a Holodeck capable of malfunction. I'd seriously still wait a few years for everyone else to beta test the thing.

Haven't you ever heard of industrial replicators? They're big, but they quickly become less power efficient as the replicated mass increases. I assume this is because greater distances mean more work for the targeting scanners and related equipment.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
Reply With Quote
  #17  
Old 12-04-2006, 01:43 AM
Sa'ar Chasm's Avatar
Sa'ar Chasm Sa'ar Chasm is offline
Our last, best hope for peace
Staff
 
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: Sitting (in Ottawa)
Posts: 3,425
Default

Quote:
Uh, I don't think it's that easy. Even replicators can't be a hundred percent effective, even if everything they create gets recycled, which it's not. You'll still need an external power source.
Yes, I know, and you need a house to put it in. Quit snarking my snark. :P

Seriously, though, every few episodes we discover something that can't be replicated because the plot needs it, but those types of things rarely come up in real life. Since it converts matter into energy, and then converts than energy back into matter according to a pattern, you can use any source of matter as a feedstock: garbage, lawn clippings, dirt, bodies...

It's an effective way of solving the waste problem, especially if you can convert, say, CFCs (made from light, common elements) into things like platinum and palladium (expensive, rare, heavy elements).

I'm science-geeking out again. Occupational hazard. I'm also carefully ignoring the many egregious ways it probably violates various fundamental laws of the universe.
__________________
The first run through of any experimental procedure is to identify any potential errors by making them.
Reply With Quote
  #18  
Old 12-04-2006, 02:59 AM
Nate the Great's Avatar
Nate the Great Nate the Great is offline
You just activated his Trek card
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 4,859
Default

Snarking is a well-respected custom of fiving. I have a great theory about how all Trek tropes can be categorized as either personal snarks, equipment snarks, or plot snarks.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
Reply With Quote
  #19  
Old 12-04-2006, 03:31 AM
e of pi's Avatar
e of pi e of pi is offline
Outnumbered
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2005
Location: Indianapolis, Indiana
Posts: 2,642
Send a message via MSN to e of pi
Default

An actual theory about Fivers? Sounds neat! I wouldn't mind hearing some more detail on this.
__________________
e of pi, fastest keyboard in the fora.

e of pi: I know you have too much free time.
Ddoof: HEY!
e of pi: Well, so does anyone who posts on 5M.net. It comes from the extra 55 minutes.

We are the BSG. Your resources and injokes wil be added to our own, depleting your fanbase. Resistance is futile. So say we all.
Member of the Persons Who Believe that Ryan Connors Leslie Should Have Lines in Other Series Since He's Hardly In TOS Fivers
Reply With Quote
  #20  
Old 12-04-2006, 04:15 AM
Nate the Great's Avatar
Nate the Great Nate the Great is offline
You just activated his Trek card
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2004
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 4,859
Default

Personal snarks: This encompasses all "cliches" and their associated "anti-cliches" that involve the characters themselves. Data's contractions (and people bringing them up), Janeway's coffee addiction, Chekov's accent, McCoy's Spock bashing, Kirk's pronounciation and skirt-chasing issues, etc. Hence a fivist can amplify and/or explain these traits for humorous effect.

For example, in my fivers I've turned Dax into a "slang-obsessed techno-freak," as I call her. That doesn't mean that I don't like Dax, 'cause I do, it's just that she presents the most easy conduit for jokes that involve slang and Treknology.

Along similar lines, I've pushed O'Brien's work overload (brought to my attention by Phil Farrand) into an out and out burden that the others deliberately put upon him. This also provides convenient opportunities for "easy" punchlines by having him win office pools on the station to give him time off, since as the "oldest" (I think Odo is technically older, but he's still relatively emotionally immature) crewmember he needs vacations and a full night's sleep more than the others, at least in my fivers. He'd also win these pools because after six years on the Enterprise and upteen years on other vessels during the Cardassian War, he's the one that's the most mature in many respects, both professionally and personally.

Equipment snarks: First off, as Derek says, the computer as a character is always funny. Along these lines, the transporter and the holodeck are rife with their own problems and provide ample fodder for jokes, especially in fivers. Similarly, I enjoy the sound effects joke first found in Bob and George, hence the use of Kablazmo and other such sounds. The Trek creators even provide for this kind of material, what with their inconsistent protrayal of the capabilities of the computers, shields, weapons, tricorders, etc.

Plot snarks: The fourth wall (or lack thereof) jokes. As much as we love Trek, there are ample examples of "idiot plots" and people forgetting the technology they have and what it can do. As Bashir says in one of my fivers: "Sounds rather convoluted-oh yeah, this is DS9. Never mind."
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
Reply With Quote
Reply

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is On

Forum Jump


All times are GMT. The time now is 11:06 AM.


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.2
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.