May 6

[Zeke]

Derek's Smallville fivers are back! ...In the sense that they were perfectly punctual and have been waiting for me to post them. Here are "Mercy," "Fade," and "Oracle." (Shouldn't Clark have met Batgirl in that last one? Just sayin'.)

[e of pi]

Are they loaded? I'm not getting more then a blank page.

[Sa'ar Chasm]

I'm going to do this in reverse order, just because I can.

Ma and Lois and Chloe: SURPRISE! Happy Birthday!
Clark: Wow. I don't know what's more pathetic: That you thought you could suprise a guy with X-ray vision and super-hearing, or that I apparently have only three people who care about me.
Ma Kent: Definitely the second one. By the way, here's a card from your father. He wanted to be here, but he's dead.

*znerk*

Clark: Here's Lionel's office; let's search it.
Chloe: Clark! Security? The room probably has an alarm, let me disable it.
Clark: Isn't there security on the whole building? How'd we get past them?
Chloe: Who cares? We're already past them.

*cackle*

Fine: Hey Lex. Have a drink from this possibly poisoned glass. Now, how come I've been taken out of the loop?
Lex: Well, the vaccine is ready, but I don't trust you, so let's have one of those verbal chess match thingies.
Fine: It'll end with me saying "Go on up, baldy!" and you breaking down into tears, so let's just skip that, okay?

Shouldn't he get eaten by a bear at this point?

Lex: So Professor Fine, if that is your real name, here's the virus, but I've developed a vaccine to save humankind from it!
Fine: Who cares? I'm just injecting you.
Lex: Oh no! I didn't make a vaccine to save just me!

I don't know why, but I find this hysterical.

Lois: So let me give you some advice on relationships. It's like money. You save it up to buy a bicycle, but when the time comes, you find out you have enough to buy a harlot.

*blink*

Clark: Oh my gosh! It says "Zod is coming!"

Kneel before Zod!

Clark: And why didn't you tell me about Lex and Lana?
Chloe: You know, honestly I don't think I'd win. You'd be mad at me if I did tell you, and you'd be mad if I didn't.
Clark: You think I get mad at you? That makes me ANGRY!

Go go Futurama reference! I think.

Evil Mwahaha-Invisibility Villain: Hey, Clark. I see you didn't want my home theatre stuff so maybe there's something else you do want? Money? Power? Women?
Clark: No, just the satisfaction of knowing I did a good deed is payment enough!
Evil Mwahaha-Invisibility Villain: ...Acting lessons?

Zing!

Lex: ERK! ACK! GAK!
Lana: Hey! Stop choking him!
Evil Mwahaha-Invisibility Villain: You know, I don't know why I had to be visible to choke him. Oh well.

He's like a Klingon bird-of-prey, he can't fire when cloaked. Or something.

(LUB DUB! LUB DUB! LUB DUB!)
Clark: Excellent! I can hear his heartbeat! Now if I just filter it out from all the other heartbeats... Closer... Closer... HA! Got you! Wait, who are you?
Ben Finney: I am no one to be trifled with. That's all you ever need know.

*cackle*

Mask-Guy: So you passed the first test. Now for the second test featuring special guest Martha Kent in a small room filling up with water! And all you have to do is solve this anagram!
Lionel: Okay, at this point, I think you're on the wrong superhero show. You want Batman.

*snicker* Too true.

Mask-Guy: And now to reveal myself as the security sweeper from that one scene way back when!
Lionel: Oh no! Not you! Not -- who are you?
Mask-Guy: I don't know. Disgruntled person or something. The point is, I'm mad as hell and I'm all out of bubblegum so it's time to take out the trash!
(BOOM!)

This reminds me of a scene from the new Justice League cartoon.

Lionel: Aaaah! Somebody saaaaaave me!
Clark: Sigh. I'll save you.
Lionel: Not well. I think this scene has the same physics problems that the Kirk-Spock mountain-climbing scene from Star Trek V did.

Care to elaborate? I love bad physics in the same way you love bad Superman-coming-of-age shows.

[Derek]

Originally Posted by Sa'ar Chasm

Shouldn't he get eaten by a bear at this point?

Good call. I was wondering how many people would get that.

*blink*

In the actual episode she says "Harley."

Go go Futurama reference! I think.

Impressive if true. It wasn't deliberate.

Care to elaborate? I love bad physics in the same way you love bad Superman-coming-of-age shows.

Basically this elevator (containing Lionel and Ma Kent) plunges from 16 stories up and at the very bottom of the shaft, Clark rushes in and catches the elevator before it crashes into the ground. However, it essentially hit Clark in the same way it would have hit the ground, so the destruction of the elevator should have happened the same way. Even with Clark bending his arms to try to slow down the elevator gradually, I don't think he had enough space to really have saaaaaaved the elevator. (I could be wrong, but I don't think so.)

I seem to recall this is very much like the problem with the "Kirk falling off the mountain, Spock saving him just above the ground with anit-grav boots" scene.


Oh, and Zeke, thanks for the (tm) to ™ conversion.