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  #1  
Old 10-30-2006, 02:55 AM
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Default Fivers. It's your choice.

Which Fiver do you like best?

I pretty much like all the Enterprise ones, they crack me up. But Earlier today, I read In the Pale Moonlight. Some how I seem to have missed this one before. Reading it, while drinking hot chocolate I came to this part:

Holo-Weyoun: ...at which point the rest of the Romulan fleet will be unable to stop us. What do you think, Damar?
Holo-Damar: DUH. I ARE STOOPID.
Sisko: Garak, are you sure you're the best person to write this script?
Garak: Are you implying that the dialogue is less than true-to-life?

At which the drick came flying out of my mouth (And a tiny bit of the nose) And I laughed so hard I spent the next 10 minutes on the floor gasping for breath.
That was a funny fiver.

That cracked me up too:

Sisko: Let's do some role-playing, old man. You're a Romulan strategist, and I argue that the Dominion is sure to turn on you eventually. What's your answer?
Dax: A human! How did you get into Romulan space? Guards!
Sisko: All right, let's say I take down the guards and you have to talk to me.
Dax: I demand to see proof!
Sisko: Blast, you're right. How can we prove the Dominion is --
Dax: No, proof that you could take down the guards. What's your THAC0?

Classic.

Whats other peoples favs?
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  #2  
Old 10-30-2006, 03:23 AM
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I'm assuming we can't vote for our own.

I suppose to a certain extent I consider Caretaker to be way up there. It's one of the first (the first?). Consider this... (hey Duracell, where's my check? )

"Hey, wanna be Voyager's version of Bashir and O'Brien?" "Works for me."

"You know, they say a fool and her dog are soon parted." "Who cares?"
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Old 10-30-2006, 05:15 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Burt View Post
Which Fiver do you like best?
Not possible to single out one above all the others. It isn't even practical to pick a representative one for each of the many different flavo[u]rs of funny in which fivers might come.

I do remember getting pretty regular chuckles out of IJD's 'Doomsday Machine' fiver:
Quote:
Kirk: Wow, glad I wasn't on that when it was attacked.
Spock: I'm gonna go out on a limb and say that whatever got the planets got that ship too.
Kirk: What are you saying?
Spock: We're screwed.
--------------------
Doomsday Machine: Kerplowie!
Enterprise: Ouch!
--------------------
Doomsday Machine: Kerplowie!
Spock: ....And with that, we're officially one million percent screwed.
Decker: Not if I can help it! Sulu, fire phasers!
McCoy: (over the comm) Sigh... can we declare him insane now?
Spock: Oh, all right. Mr. Sulu, break free.
Decker: What? You can't do that!
Sulu: We can't sir, we're too screwed.
--------------------
Decker: (over the comm) "And he piled upon the whale's white hump, the sum of all the rage and hate felt by his whole race. If his chest had been a cannon, he would have shot his heart upon it."
Kirk: Herman Melville....
Decker: No, Patrick Stewart. Anyway, goodbye cruel world....
Shuttle: Ka-BOOM!
But that's only one example...
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Old 10-30-2006, 06:01 AM
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Kerplowie? I guess that's okay, but I'm sorry, I just prefer KABLAZMO! Call me weird, call me obsessed, call me eccentric, just don't call me Shirley.
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mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

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Old 10-30-2006, 06:51 AM
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Maybe I'll call you Fred. Or Ignatz.

But just KABLAZMO? No BIFF! POWIE! SOCKO! OOF! ? Where's the variety?
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Old 10-30-2006, 03:11 PM
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I wasn't going for the Batman School of Sound Effects (not that Biff and Zowie were ever sound effects anyway), I was just saying that the instant I saw Kablazmo I knew I loved it. Just another one of those irrational instant loves or hates that we all encounter in our lives that have absolutely no basis in logic or rational thinging. Just like I love and hate with no reason:

Love:
Tie-dye shirts.
Really unusual hats (I have a cowboy hat that's covered in this horrible tan courderoy, for Zarquon's sake!)
Collecting odd and unusual coins, with no regard as to whether they'd ever be of ANY sort of value to anyone else.

Hate:
Chopped onion in foods.
Shows that require full knowledge of EVERY episode that went on before it to understand the current one.
Tellytubbies

I could go on, but you get the point.
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Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
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Old 10-31-2006, 12:07 AM
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I've always loved the Vurtual Voyager episode Distant Elephants just for the simple fact that tuvok says "Elephants, Elephants, Elephants." all the time.

There's lots of others that are probably better, but this one has always stood out in my mind.
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Old 10-31-2006, 12:17 AM
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There is nothing irrational about hating tellytubbies.
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Old 10-31-2006, 12:56 AM
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Hooray! Appreciation! Thanks, Mudshark!

My favorite is an oldie. "The Void". Anthropomorphization! Poindexter McGunderbund! Canadian political jokes I don't understand!

Classic!

Go away, loose ends!
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Old 10-31-2006, 03:20 AM
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People who live in Canada don't get Canadian political jokes. :D

I can't pick one. I'd have to go with all the 'spare season' ones--VVS and WYCBT. All of those ones crack me up.
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Old 10-31-2006, 03:32 AM
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Canadian political jokes? What would those be like?

Okay, I had a "what matters less than Canadian politics" joke already, but I'm really not in the mood to have my head shoved onto a pike today. The pikes you people carry these days always clash with my hair.
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mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
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Old 10-31-2006, 03:36 AM
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Quote:
Okay, I had a "what matters less than Canadian politics" joke already, but I'm really not in the mood to have my head shoved onto a pike today. The pikes you people carry these days always clash with my hair.
There aren't many pike in BC anyway. Plenty of salmon, though.
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Old 10-31-2006, 03:55 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by ijdgaf View Post
Hooray! Appreciation! Thanks, Mudshark!
Hey, no problem. It really was the first fiver I thought of when I started writing that post, and it still makes me laugh.

Quote:
My favorite is an oldie. "The Void". Anthropomorphization! Poindexter McGunderbund! Canadian political jokes I don't understand!

Classic!

Go away, loose ends!
Yeah!

Heh, Poindexter McGunderbund. Heh heh heh.
Quote:
Dr. Poindexter McGunderbund: Shut up.
Heh.
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Old 10-31-2006, 01:03 PM
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I'm not sure I should thank you, Sa'ar, for getting Shrek stuck in my head with that pike bit.
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mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
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Old 10-31-2006, 05:07 PM
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Whichever ENT one it was that had the "T'Porthos" joke in made me chuckle. I've also a soft spot for the TMP fiver; perhaps the one that I remember liking the most though is "The Omega Glory", largely in part due to the whole Kirk-as-Zoidberg thing it has going on.
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Old 10-31-2006, 06:11 PM
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Quote:
I'm not sure I should thank you, Sa'ar, for getting Shrek stuck in my head with that pike bit.
Do what to whonow? Shrekwhatnow?
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Old 10-31-2006, 09:24 PM
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Hey, another h2g2 gag! Standing ovation time!

Shrek had a great speech in the first movie about how ogres were about more than just storming into town, sticking people's heads on pikes, and drinking their bodily fluids.
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mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
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