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  #81  
Old 02-08-2004, 09:51 PM
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[quoteost_uid0="Guest"][color=#000000ost_uid0]6. Warps the command system so Harry is in charge of the ship.

4. Swaps Chakotay and Seven's conciousness. No one notices.
3. Makes everyone addicted to caffiene... Oh wait...

1. Causes strange hair growth in Vulcans; Tuvok ends up with a mullet.[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]:lol: So funny![/colorost_uid0]
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  #82  
Old 02-09-2004, 01:14 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]9. What appears to be a brain sucking alien comes aboard but then turns out to just want all of the leola root. There is much rejoicing when janeway gives him all of it.
[/quoteost_uid0]

This one is deliriously funny,

Top 10 Ways Porthos can take over the ship:

10. He barks everyone unconscious
9. He receives outside assistance by becoming a Suliban double agent
8. He chews off the wires on the life support system
7. He calls reinforcements from the Gamma Quadrant. Porthos is actually an evil Shapeshifter, a ghastly truth to be revealed in the Series Finale itself
6. He teams up with Aibo - disaster inevitable
5. He drinks a mysterious substance known as "The Coffee, Black", after which he is able to breath fire.
4. He starts being extra-cuddly and convinces Archer to give him control of the ship. It takes him 4 minutes.
3. He switches everyone`s food with chilli.
2. He bites everyone to death. (I feel cruel today)

and Number 1 Way Porthos Can Take Over The Ship

1. He uses weapons of mass destruction, reported mysteriously stolen from the year 2003 by a small, furry time traveler.


NEXT - Top 10 Phlox`s Evil Medical Experiments[/colorost_uid0]

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  #83  
Old 02-09-2004, 02:16 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top 10 Phlox`s Evil Medical Experiments

10.) Something involving GMO linen.
9.) Attempted to induce T'Pol's pon farr again, to boost DeconCam video sales.
8.) Attempted to induce baldness in all future captains, with mixed results.
7.) Removed Travis' voicebox.
6.) Attempted to reduce Reed's passion for explosives by replacing his regular coffee with pineapples. No change noted, except for the anaphylactic shock.
5.) Attempted to splice a chili-powder-producing gene into Porthos' DNA.
4.) Created a mutant form of the Denobulan Hatus pimpus tree. Destroyed it after it beat up Archer.
3.) Bio-engineered sentient slugs. Attempted to feed the slugs to his bat before Archer decided to make a moral quandry of it and fill 42 minutes of airtime. Fed them to his bat anyway.
2.) Bio-engineered a carnivorous pecan-pie mimic. Switched it with Trip's dessert. Hilarity ensued.
1.) Created tiny Sim-clones. Left them in places T'Pol frequents.

Top Ten Signs Phlox is Secretly Dosing the Crew with Psychoactive Drugs.[/colorost_uid0]

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  #84  
Old 02-09-2004, 03:02 AM
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Sa'ar Chasm Sa'ar Chasm is offline
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[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Top Ten Signs Phlox is Secretly Dosing the Crew with Psychoactive Drugs.[/quoteost_uid0]

10) T'Pol has developed a fondness for reggae.
9) Reed stops trying to shoot things, paranoid that his guns are "looking at him funny".
8) Entire crew is entranced by the sight of the stars rushing past...at impulse.
7) Archer is so keyed up it takes twice as long for the fanatic of the week to beat him up.
6) Tucker strangely unaffected.
5) Hoshi opens every hail with "This is the USS Enterprise. Do you have any snacks?"
4) MACOs found locked in the shuttlebay having a tea party with Phlox's menagerie. Phlox vents atmosphere in a mercy-killing.
3) Mayweather paints himself completely blue. No one notices.
2) Archer carefully asks every crewmember he passes if they can see the bulkheads melting. When they reply no, he says "Ah. Good. Right. Just checking."
1) Archer orders "Let's go," and it takes half an hour to notice that Travis has the ship stuck in neutral.

Top Ten Reasons There Should Never Be A Star Trek/Superfriends Crossover:[/colorost_uid0]

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  #85  
Old 02-09-2004, 03:35 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten Reasons There Should Never Be A Star Trek/Superfriends Crossover

10.) Any possible chance of a space monkey.
9.) Superman vs. Archer. Liability vs. punching bag.
8.) Wonder Woman's invisible jet a special-effects cop-out on par with Bele's invisible ship.
7.) "Wondertwin Powers... [iost_uid0]activate![/iost_uid0] Form of a tribble! Form of an ice-phaser!"
6.) People complained about poorly-resolved plots [iost_uid0]before[/iost_uid0].
5.) Extended Chekov/Robin Second Banana Commiseration scene.
4.) The casual use of flasks of antimatter would cause Janeway's head to explode.
3.) The Enterprise would come to life and try to eat the Cape Race lighthouse.
2.) Wrestling match between Wesley and Gleep for title of Most Annoying Sidekick.
1.) Picard gets possessed and beams himself into space. Superman gets possessed and uses the nearest bulkhead to achieve the same effect.

Top Ten Other Uses for Leola Root[/colorost_uid0]
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  #86  
Old 02-09-2004, 04:27 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten Other Uses for Leola Root

10. Used to dishonor Klingon Chefs
9. Extra torpedos
8. Gets tough stains out of carpets
7. Stink Bombs
6. The main ingrediant to that virus Janeway sent to the Borg
5. Opens Worm Holes in your kitchen
4. Keeps Chakotay from being able to fly a shuttle
3. Dodge Ball using Leola Roots
2. Used to render Q powerless
1. The stuff that makes all that technobabble really work

Next: Top Ten Last Words said by Redshirts[/colorost_uid0]
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  #87  
Old 02-09-2004, 04:41 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten Last Words Said By Redshirts

10. Let's split up!
9. I'm sure this tunnel is perfectly safe. Say, what're those nodules?
8. I'm not going in there. I'm going to stand right here by this tree.
7. No, I don't have any salt. Why?
6. Commodore Decker said to beam down to the planet. I'm sure he knows what he's doing.
5. Ha ha ha ha ha, oh hi, Charlie.
4. Now that I've been promoted to the bridge staff I gotta be safe. What, Captain? You need help releasing the deflector dish? I'm your man!
3. Oooo, look, giant brain cells!
2. What's that in your eye, Lt. Mitchell?

And the Number One Last Words Said By Redshirts:

1. GAK!



Next:

Top Ten Reasons Sisko Isn't Bothering To Come Into The Office Today[/colorost_uid0]
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  #88  
Old 02-09-2004, 04:45 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]Top Ten Last Words said by Redshirts[/quoteost_uid0]

10: Hey, guys, ever seen so many angry natives? Guys...?
9: I don't see any giant swamp-things.
8: Avalanche? What ava.
7: What do you mean, "Do I have any salt?"
6: Looks dangerous. I'll go first.
5: Yes sir, Captain Kirk, sir!
4: That's odd. I could have sworn there was only one rock a minute ago.
3: This panel looks safe.
2: OK, paper, scissors, rock...damn.

And the Number One Last Word said by Redshirts is (obviously)

1: GAK!

Top Ten Reasons Worf Can't Hit Anything With A Hand Phaser.

Edit: *mutter* No, I didn't rip you off for #7 and #1.[/colorost_uid0]

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  #89  
Old 02-09-2004, 04:47 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Whoa. That was so bizarre.[/colorost_uid0]
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  #90  
Old 02-09-2004, 04:48 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Hmmm. I, the newbie, have learned the secret of this forum, which is... refresh first, [iost_uid0]then[/iost_uid0] post!

bwhahahahaha...[/colorost_uid0]
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  #91  
Old 02-09-2004, 04:50 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]10. Quark was waiting outside it.
9. The Prohpets told him work was for suckers
8. Sisko wanted to spend time with his wife and son.
7. Sisko was caught up in emotion listening to Worf's new Opera.
6. "Queer Eye for the Vulcan Guy"- Solok was on
5. Sisko was held up by Q begging him to allow him on the show
4. Bajoran Day of Sitting
3. Jadzia had come back from the dead; Sisko wanted to know how.
2. Pink Fluffy Plot Bunny of DOOM
1. Sisko was having one of his, "Am I in the fifties or in the future?" days

Top Ten Episodes of any Trek that were attacked by the Pink Fluffy Plot Bunny of DOOM[/colorost_uid0]

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  #92  
Old 02-09-2004, 04:51 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Top Ten Last Words said by Redshirts


10. Ooo, a cave! Think I'll just go inside for a look without telling anyone. How dangerous could it possibly be?

9. Yes, I renewed it just a week ago. But why are you suddenly interested in my life insurance status, captain?

8. AAAAAAAAAHHH!

7. Now that we've got you cooped up behind our super-duper infallible brig energy jailbars, I'm going to go to sleep on guard duty because there's no way we could suffer a power outage, right?

6. All right, if you insist, I'll try your "leola root" whatever-it-is...

5. Blue. No, wait, gree--Yeeaaaarrrrgghh!

4. Tum-te-tum, standing around innocently, not noticing an extremely noisy Evil Creature of Doom "sneaking" up behind me...

3. Waaaaiit a moment, you promised you'd let Paris fly the shuttle, Comman--aaahh.....!

2. *comes face-to-face with the Monster Of The Week* Uh-oh, you aren't the other guard on duty with me...

1. GAK!



Next: Top Ten Places Star Trek Characters Want to Visit on Vacation


[bost_uid0]Big Fat Important Edit:[/bost_uid0] [/colorost_uid0]

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  #93  
Old 02-09-2004, 04:53 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]O.K. ... [bost_uid0][iost_uid0]HELLO?[/bost_uid0][/iost_uid0] [/colorost_uid0]
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  #94  
Old 02-09-2004, 04:55 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]There has to be a way to warn everyone that someone is doing a Top Ten List, lol. Zeke, any ideas?[/colorost_uid0]
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  #95  
Old 02-09-2004, 04:56 AM
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[quoteost_uid0="Opium"][color=#000000ost_uid0]4. Bajoran Day of Sitting[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]:lol:[/colorost_uid0]
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  #96  
Old 02-09-2004, 04:58 AM
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[quoteost_uid0="NeoMatrix"][color=#000000ost_uid0]There has to be a way to warn everyone that someone is doing a Top Ten List, lol. Zeke, any ideas?[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]I'm serious. All we need to do is refresh first, then post. Unless we're both posting at the exact same time (gaaa!! The Blinovich Limitation Effect!) that will work. This time we were missing by minutes, but not by seconds, it looks like.

Just a thought...[/colorost_uid0]
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  #97  
Old 02-09-2004, 05:00 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]You mean like have 2 windows open at once. Like one on the posts, and the other on your post that you are working on?

We need something like this, but with more detail
http://3sygma.com/fivemin....listall[/colorost_uid0]

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  #98  
Old 02-09-2004, 05:02 AM
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[quoteost_uid0="NeoMatrix"][color=#000000ost_uid0]You mean like have 2 windows open at once. Like one on the posts, and the other on your post that you are working on?[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]Or do what I do, which is type up the list in Word, then refresh, and reply if the coast is clear.

"What I do." Cause I've been doing it for, what, two DAYS now. [/colorost_uid0]
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  #99  
Old 02-09-2004, 09:12 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Could always do what they do in softball and call it.[/colorost_uid0]
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  #100  
Old 02-09-2004, 09:44 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0][quoteost_uid0]4. Keeps Chakotay from being able to fly a shuttle[/quoteost_uid0]
Now is that a good thing or is it why he keeps crashing?

If there is someone posting in a miscelaneous thread since more than, say, seven minutes, there is a resonable chance it's in this thread.

If you want to be sure, just say you're going to do the next one, and edit when you're done.[/colorost_uid0]
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