Run for Executive Producer

[Alexia]

Originally Posted by Standback

If I am elected, all key plot episodes will be written by none other than the Immortal Bard himself, William Shakespeare:

I think thats already been done. Didn't you watch TNG? :wink:

And you can't get rid of Mayweather. What about Hoshi? We (ok, I) want more Mayweather!

[Sa'ar Chasm]

I think any honest and decent man will agree that it would be better to watch an entire episode of shirts without their crewmembers than an entire episode of crewmembers without their shirts.

Speaking from a whistlestop in Power Cable, Nebraska, ASCII made the following rebuttal when told about Standback's candidacy: "Who? How many divisions has he got?"
(His first response, "How far?", was stricken from the record.)

Elaborating further on the topic, ASCII also said "What about Hoshi? I, for one, would like to see her shirtless. What? T'Pol? Compared to what she normally wears, that would be redundant."

A savage placard-beating from the Coalition For Uptight Puritan Morals On Television (CUPMOT) ensued.

This Reporter is being held hostage in Sa'ar Chasm's basement, and would really like to go back to writing TJIs. Mr. Chasm apologises for writing in the TJI style.

[mudshark]

Originally Posted by Standback

Clearly, painful is it may be, Mr. Montgomery will have to go. While I am sure he is a fine actor, he is clearly not up to the task of this difficult role. And so, he shall be replaced by an actor who can be counted on to handle Mr. Travis Mayweather's most delicate, but oh-so-silent, character:

**spews coffee all over monitor & keyboard**

ACK! WTF?! .... Oh, I see. You scared me; I thought that was Jerry Lewis doing Harpo :shock: but it's some other guy. If you're going to post a gookie, you might as well make it an authentic one (preferably copied and hosted on personal webspace, rather than hotlinked to someone else's.)


>P.S. -- You owe me a keyboard and post-trauma counseling.

[Nic Corelli]

Okay.


First things first...

Archer: T’Pol! By what unearthly means may’st this most queer anomaly be explained?
T’Pol: Mayhaps, m’lord, when Saturn’s skies our lanterns see / Uneasy grows the rest of these fair flowers Suliban-ee.

ROFL! :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen:


Now...


Trek series written by Shakespeare? As Lexy said, TNG.


Trek series that made sense? DS9.


Trek series with shirtless Trip all the time, Naomi Wildman beating up Archer with a phaser rifle while Janeway sips coffee and watches, saying "That`s my girl"... That is, ladies and gentlemen, The Future!


Vote Xeroc & Nic. They have cookies, and are not afraid to use them.

[Asky]

Originally Posted by Nic Corelli

Trek series with shirtless Trip all the time... That is, ladies and gentlemen, The Future!

Well, I certainly hope that since it's Trek, we can to back to the past, because that is NOT a future I EVER want to see. I also promise an absence of shirtless Trip.

[catalina_marina]

Yeah, you know. I like the shirtless Trip now and then, but it shouldn't be the only thing. And Nic, there's just too much silliness in there. I'm sorry, but I think I'm just going to vote blank. :roll:

[Alexia]

*Puts on a "the space in Lexys head is blank" T-shirt*

:mrgreen:

Cat, are you working your way back to my side? I was for the occasional shirtless trip :wink:

[catalina_marina]

No, I'm working my way towards a blank vote. I really don't feel like participating in this election anymore. :roll:

Although the fiver thing is still interesting... :wink:

[Standback]

Catalina, your comment shocks me to the very core. A blank vote, on such a momenteous decision? Allow me to demonstrate to you, and all others, the error of your ways, with the...

Top Ten Reasons Standback Is Better Than A Blank Vote

10. If you forfeit your inalienable democratic right to a significant vote, then the terrorists have already won.
9. Reliable sources have leaked the following excerpt from the intended script of our rival's season finale:

Hoshi: Captain! Captain! The ship is overrun by bunny rabbits who have been assimilated by the Borg!
Archer: Calm down, Hoshi. I've brought aboard an expert guest star on the Borg. Let's all give a warm welcome to...
Picard: Subduing them with Gilbert and Sullivan lyrics isn't working! Our only chance... is to seperate the saucer section!
TO BE CONTINUED

8. If Standback is elected, then Shran and Mysterious Future Guy will both become full-fledged regular crewmembers. Furthermore, the current regulars will all be fired.
7. Standback has long expressed his disapproval with the current Executive Producers by refusing to watch the entire third season, though some attribute this to the fact that nobody bothered to tape it for him.
6. If Standback is not elected, he'll bring back Topic Title.
5. Standback is the only candidate who has openly vowed never to impede the flow of the Mississippi river, to ensure that the War of 1812 becomes a forgotten relic of the past, and never to cease obscure references to old comic strips.
4. A blank vote means no Executive Producer at all. These episodes won't write themselves, you know.

Archer: Are you sure there's nothing out there?
T'Pol: Nothing, Captain.
Archer: No spacial anamolies? Mysterious planets? Distress calls? Devastating attacks on Earth?
T'Pol: No, sir.
Mayweather: Well, with all this free time, I can finally tell you all about my collection of laminated salt!
Archer: Are you sure there's nothing out there?

3. If you don't vote for Standback, you'll never see the results of his revolutionary plans to get Hoshi and Mayweather their very own spin-off.
2. Standback has proved himself to be highly capable and nearly without competition in the field of [b]wildly overusing the tag.
1. If Trip and T'Pol are ever displayed simultaneously shirtless, as so many rival candidates seem doomed to bring about, then the terrorists have already won.


VOTE STANDBACK!
Or not. I mean, that's good too. It's a free country and all.

[Nic Corelli]

Originally Posted by Standback

9. Reliable sources have leaked the following excerpt from the intended script of our rival's season finale:

GASP! You`ve been eavesdropping on our campaign headquarters! Watergate! Watergate!

[admiral sab]

NIC!!!! you're back! Did I miss you're homecoming? Oh well... I like your new avvy. I guess I'll have to put my TnT one back up for the Election.

[Opium]

As a true band-wagon voter, I am jumping in and having my say:

-the Exec must promise to make Enterprise more like DS9, including hiring the cast back
-the Exec must promie that Porthos gets lonely and Archer adopts a standard wire-haired dachshund, because they are cute
-the Exec must promise to bring Eric Szmanda, James Marsters, Nicholas Brendon, and Noah Wyle onto Enterprise

Enterprise has too many commercials! Cut them shorter!
Enterprise needs strong leadership and more Evil Future Guy!
Enterprise needs more appropriate times for Trip to take off his shirt.
Enterprise needs more tention between Trip, T'Pol and Archer.
Enterprise needs Archer to date Hoshi.
Enterprise needs Hoshie to date Mayweather, and him to date her back.
Enterprise needs less forceful direction, and a more natural touch.
Enterprise needs to fully express it's science-fiction roots.
Enterprise needs to be less concerned with action and more with romance.
Enterprise needs to be less concerned with romance and more concerned with good plots.
Enterprise needs to be less concerned with good plots and more concerned with sensible timelines.
Enterprise needs to be less concerned with sensible timelings and more concerned with action.
:wink:

[Opium]

VOTE STANDBACK!
Or not. I mean, that's good too. It's a free country and all.

YAY FOR THE UNDERDOG! I VOTE FOR THE UNDERDOG!

No one's forgotten I'm giving out pie, right?

YAY FOR THE CROWD-PLEASER! I COTE FOR THE CROWD-PLEASER!

[PointyHairedJedi]

Okay, I wasn't going to announce this until later, but I can exclusively reveal that I have signed an exclusive deal with Niccolo Machiaveli to bring him on board as a story consultant should I win the race and become ExecProd.

Talks with Leonardo da Vinci are still ongoing however.

By the way, I know many of you (PHJ, PHJ and PHJ particularly) have been concerned about Archer/EFG's death in the season four finale, but I can tell you that isn't the last we'll be seeing of him. More than that I cannot say, or Niccolo will be very annoyed with me indeed.

[catalina_marina]

You know WHY I'm voting black? Because everyone here is telling me so many spoilers! I want to be surprised, dammit! I don't want to know what happens before I see it. :roll:

[PointyHairedJedi]

Ah, but how do you know? My so called spoliers may just be an elaborate deception.

Man, that Niccolo can really mess with your head.

[Draknek]

See that?

That, right there, is proof that the Draknek opt-in campaign is a Good Thing (tm) for all those innocent voters!

Think of the atrocities that have been committed, all in the name of keeping the voters informed!

And it's not just spoilers. Many candidates are going so far as to make promises, which may or may not be remembered later. I've even been informed of one extreme case where a candidate has decided to listen to what the voters want!

Vote for me, and set an example! Together, one day, we can prevent all candidates from campaigning to the public.

I, for one, look forward to that day with great hope, and great wonder.

Thank you.

[Nic Corelli]

Originally Posted by admiral sab

NIC!!!! you're back! Did I miss you're homecoming? Oh well... I like your new avvy. I guess I'll have to put my TnT one back up for the Election.

Hello to you too, Sab.. had no idea you missed me so much, :mrgreen: Well, the avatar you liked had to go away for now, but it will most certainly be back, don`t worry!

Also, Cat, spoilers? Well, I might have told you Naomi Wildman will beat up Archer with a phaser rifle, but I haven`t told you HOW MANY times she`ll beat him, how long will it take, how loud he will scream, how many dozens cups of coffee Janeway will drink while happily watching... Those are all mysteries you should be looking forward to! :twisted:

(When is the election day, anyway? How about tomorrow? As far as I can remember, Xeroc and I are still leading with 66%, :twisted

[admiral sab]

I know what you're up to Nic and it's not going to happen.

[Alexia]

Originally Posted by Nic Corelli

(When is the election day, anyway? How about tomorrow? As far as I can remember, Xeroc and I are still leading with 66%, :twisted

I wouldn't be so sure of that :wink: I think it's gonna be a while...some time near when ENT season 4 comes out