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  #181  
Old 03-22-2021, 04:34 PM
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April 30th, 1990, "Hollow Pursuits"

Fiver (by Marc)
Transcript
Memory Alpha

Okay, let's get this out of the way up front. I like Barclay, but not in this first episode. This level of incompetence on the part of our crew is just unforgivable. As someone who's struggled with social anxiety myself, the way our crew handled Barclay's situation is absurd. You don't get to serve on the flagship with this many issues, you just don't. Barclay should've been assigned to a low-stress post with continual counseling and medication experimentation until he could get his act together.

Second issue, recreating real, currently living people on the holodeck without their consent should be a crime. Except for actual criminal investigations, of course.


Third, it should not be Geordi's job to hold Barclay's hand. There must be over a hundred officers in the Engineering section, Geordi doesn't have the time for that. Aren't there assistant chief engineers to handle this sort of thing? Whatever happened to Shimoda anyway?

Fourth, "Broccoli?" Even if we argue that everyone is speaking English so this joke would work (a very iffy proposition, but moving on), that's just abuse. How did this get past Gene? He's always harping about perfect human beings, and this is not perfect behavior. Uhura herself said that in the future we don't fear words.

Fifth, I'd think that the computer is keeping track of everyone's holodeck usage and if it gets too high Troi is notified. This episode makes it sound like Barclay spends all of his off hours in there, this isn't healthy and never should've gotten this far.

Besides, are there enough holodecks that everyone who wants holodeck time can just have it without waiting in line? That's absurd. Someone on Reddit did the math, and the amount of holodeck time per person with 16 holodecks is 10 hours per month. Of course some people don't like the holodeck and a lot of the 1012 people on board are children who wouldn't get solo time, but still. Even if we say that everyone who wants holodeck time can have 20 hours per month, Barclay is burning that off every week!

Sorry, but I had to get that out of my system. Moving on, get ready for some serious discussion of Treknology nits, they just show up so often in this episode.

The Episode

(Deanna slinks in wearing an off the shoulder number, as Howling Mad Murdoch pours himself a slug from a bottle on the bar)

I never watched the A-Team show, it was before my time. I did enjoy the movie in a "it's not supposed to be brilliant, it's supposed to be fun" sense.

LAFORGE: I just don't know what to do with him. The guy's always late, he never gives his best effort, just slides by. I'm telling you, I can't deal with it anymore. I mean, how does a guy like that make it through the Academy?

Forget the Academy, how'd he get assigned to the Enterprise in the first place? Wouldn't Geordi have some say in who gets posted to his department?

RIKER: Mister Barclay, I'm tired of seeing your name on report. I don't know what you got away with at your last posting, but this is the Enterprise. We set a different standard here. Understood?

Exactly.
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  #182  
Old 03-22-2021, 04:34 PM
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Captain's log, Stardate 43807.4. We are taking on a load of special tissue samples donated by the Mikulaks for shipment to Nahmi Four. The samples could prove vital to the containment of an outbreak of Correllium Fever on that world.

Put aside the technobabble here, why are there still so many deadly diseases on Federation worlds? I'll let it slide in TOS, the Federation was still "big" in terms of travel times and resources were stretched a bit thin. But this is supposed to be the prosperous, no-more-war era of the Federation. They should have the time to cure the major diseases on Federation worlds BEFORE they become outbreaks.

And the worst part is that more often than not these diseases are just backdrops, a reason for why the Enterprise is going from A to B. It smacks of writer laziness. The writers need to expand their vocabulary of generic Enterprise missions.

BARCLAY: I should have told him to mind his own damned business. I knew about the flux capacitor. I didn't need to hear about it from some seventeen year old kid.

Finally, something new! There should've been more resistance to Wesley having senior officer status among the junior officers. But no, in the perfect future Federation there's no resentment, or mourning, or prejudice, or anything like that. Until there is. I've said it before and I'll say it again, Roddenberry and Lucas may be geniuses when they're on tight leashes, but you let them off the leash at your peril.

LAFORGE: What do you do with a guy like that?
GUINAN: Well, I just serve him warm milk and let him be.


Bad Guinan! You're supposed to listen, and sometimes that means making your customer talk. It's your job to make sure everyone is having a good time in Ten Forward.

LAFORGE: Maybe I'm not make myself clear, Guinan. Barclay, well, he's always late. The man's nervous. Nobody wants to be around this guy.
GUINAN: If I felt that nobody wanted to be around me, I'd probably be late and nervous too.
LAFORGE: Guinan, that's not the point.
GUINAN: Are you sure?


Very good exchange. Mental health triggers can come from anyone, it's not always the afflicted's fault.

(He comes upon a Gainsborough tableau - Beverly on a floral swing and Wesley in blue, eating cake. There's a white parakeet in a cane cage too)

Chakotea does his research, you have to give him that. Thomas Gainsborough was an 18th century English painter, noted for doing portraits of fancily-dressed people.

LAFORGE: Hey, Barclay, I've spent a few hours on the holodeck too, you know. Now, as far as I'm concerned what you do in the holodeck is your own business, as long as it doesn't interfere with your work.

Unless you illegally replicate real people of course. Mr. Worf, take Broccoli here to the brig!

BARCLAY: Being afraid all the time, of forgetting somebody's name, not knowing what to do with your hands. I mean, I'm the guy who writes down things to remember to say when there's a party. And then when he finally get there, he winds up alone in the corner trying to look comfortable examining a potted plant.
LAFORGE: You're just shy, Barclay.
BARCLAY: Just shy. Sounds like nothing serious, doesn't it? You can't know.

Ouch. You gotta feel for Reg here.

TROI: Have you ever been with a counsellor before?
BARCLAY: Yes. No.


Really, Troi? You couldn't sense this guy's stress and arranged a visit before now? Even if you argue that Reg only transferred here recently, you'd think it'd be one of Troi's jobs to evaluate all newcomers to make sure that any required treatment was started.

RIKER: This is a violation of protocol. Crewmembers should not be simulated in the holodeck.

Exactly.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
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  #183  
Old 03-22-2021, 04:35 PM
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TROI: You know, there's nothing wrong with a healthy fantasy life, as long as you don't let it take over.
RIKER: You call this healthy?
TROI: You're taking it so seriously. It's not without its element of humour.
HOLO-TROI: I am the goddess of Empathy. Cast off your inhibitions and embrace love, truth, joy.
LAFORGE: Oh, my God.
HOLO-TROI: Discard your facades and reveal your true being to me.
TROI: Computer, discontinue.
RIKER: Computer, belay that order! We want to get more insight into what's been troubling the poor man, remember? Quite a healthy fantasy life, wouldn't you say?
(Geordi agrees)

Always a funny scene.

WORF: Sir, our velocity increased to warp seven point two five.
DATA: Compensating, sir.
WORF: Confirmed. Velocity now warp seven.
PICARD: Maintain that. What the hell happened?
DATA: The matter-antimatter injectors locked for a split second. I am not certain why, sir. They appear to be working properly now.

What do the matter-antimatter injectors have to do with the warp fields? Just say that the warp coils locked for a split second! Why do I get the feeling that I could do a better job than the Okudas?

BARCLAY: It's not a computer problem. The mechanism is physically jammed. I can't clear it.

Jammed? So what? Just cut the matter and antimatter feeds to the injectors themselves! And don't tell me that there aren't manual cutoffs to the injectors!

LAFORGE: We can't shut it down, Captain. Antimatter flow is increasing. She's accelerating out of control.

1. How can the flow be increasing if the injectors are jammed?
2. Is the warp core automatically increasing the matter flow to react with the antimatter flow?
3. They can't vent the extra warp plasma before it gets to the nacelles?
4. They can't turn off the warp coils?

LAFORGE: Okay, this ship is going to start tearing itself apart in fifteen minutes. I want every idea on the table. I don't care how outrageous.
DUFFY: What about attempting a magnetic quench on the fusion pre-burners?
LAFORGE: No, I already tried that. The magnetic fields won't reset.


Okay, you can't turn off the antimatter flow. Of course I question how you could reset the magnetic fields without the antimatter reacting with the sides of the warp core.

WESLEY: Could the fuel inlet servos be caught in cycle?
LAFORGE: If they were, the swirl dampers would be frozen too and they aren't.

I think the swirl dampeners are supposed to focus the matter/animatter streams after they leave the inlets. Why freezing one system here is supposed to automatically freeze another system is beyond me.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
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  #184  
Old 03-22-2021, 04:37 PM
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DATA: The plasma flow to the nacelles is uneven due to injector lock. An emergency saucer separation could rupture the warp field.

Um, what? How is the flow uneven? The injectors are locked, making a larger-than-usual amount of warp plasma go to the warp coils. That's not uneven, that's overload. Besides, the saucer is supposed to rupture the warp field, that's its job! I think Data is saying that the warp fields of the two nacelles are no longer in synch due to the plasma flow, and thus is in more danger of collapse if the saucer separation disrupts it. There's still a better way to word that...

LAFORGE: None of the systems involved interact directly with each other. I don't see anything in common.

No direct interaction? Nothing in common? Oh, the lecture I could give on this subject!

LAFORGE: Computer, list all physical substances that wouldn't normally be picked up by an internal scan.
COMPUTER: There are fifteen thousand five hundred twenty five known substances that cannot be detected by standard scans.

Well, that's disturbing. Of course, you'd think they would've done a complete scan WAY before this...

LAFORGE [OC]: Recommend we flood the injector pathway conduit with gaseous cryonetrium. That ought to neutralise it.

"Neutralize" has two meanings. Just freezing it would make it unable to react with anything, but you have to thaw it out at some point. Geordi could've worded this better.

BARCLAY: Erase all programs filed under Reginald Barclay. (turns to leave) Except programme nine.

One can only wonder what's in Program 9.

__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
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  #185  
Old 03-22-2021, 04:38 PM
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The Fiver

Barclay: Duty calls, sweetheart.
La Forge: What?
Barclay: Uh, that was Humphrey Bogart you heard, sir. I'm watching an old movie.

"Duty calls, sweetheart" appears in many old movies, but I couldn't find a Bogart one.

Riker: Barclay's hopeless, Captain. I think we should transfer him to the U.S.S. Elba.

Of course the joke is about Napoleon's exile on Elba, but as it turns out Elba is also a city in Alabama that happens to be a suburb of Enterprise. Of course Marc didn't intend this, but it's an interesting coincidence.

O'Brien: See what happens when I send a test object through the transporter? It comes back as a pile of twisted junk.
La Forge: Yikes -- that's scary enough to a give a person transporter phobia. I'll ask Barclay to take a look at this thing right away.

I'm pretty sure Barclay already had transporter phobia, but that's okay. One wonders how any Starfleet engineer can use the thing comfortably, the "knowing what goes into the sausage" effect, so to speak.

La Forge: But why do you have to use us as your characters? Why don't you simulate -- well, for instance, the crew of a nice Intrepid-class starship or something?

The Intrepid class won't enter service for another three years, but of course the ships must've been under construction by now. I still don't like DS9's implication that a starship can be built top to bottom in like a year.

Holo-Picard: Will you be erasing all of your programs?
Barclay: I might keep just one as a souvenir.
Holo-Troi: Have you decided which one?
Barclay: Probably "Vulcan Love Slave, Part Two." I find T'Pol's hot-lube rubdowns to be very relaxing.

Eww. I'd hardly equate decon get with "hot-lube" anyway.

Memory Alpha

* Some think that the episode is a satire of obsessed Trekkies. I don't see it. Why fantasize about playing Three Musketeers with Starfleet officers when you can actually play Three Musketeers with the actual Musketeers?
* On DS9 O'Brien and Worf refer to the events of this episode, even though neither of them saw Barclay's holodeck programs. While I could imagine O'Brien making allowances for Barclay, Worf would never cut him the slack that Geordi had to.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
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  #186  
Old 03-24-2021, 12:50 AM
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May 7th, 1990 "The Most Toys"


Fiver (by Kira)

Transcript
Memory Alpha


The Episode

VARRIA: Twenty six point eight kilos of tripolymer composites. Eleven point eight kilos of molybdenum-cobalt alloy. One point three kilos Bioplast sheeting.



The numbers indicate that she's reading a list of material in decreasing order of mass. Forty kilos is ninety pounds. I'm pretty sure Data is supposed to be heavier than a person. Still within the carrying capacity of a Klingon, but heavier than a person.



Incidentally, molybdenum-cobalt composites are toxic. And why isn't his structural frame made of duranium?



WESLEY: I can't believe he's gone.
LAFORGE: I always thought he'd outlive us, by centuries.
(Wesley uncovers a painting)
WESLEY: He'd been working on this for months. He never felt it was quite finished.
LAFORGE: You know what a critic Data was, especially about his own work.
(Geordi opens a drawer and takes out a book. Shakespeare, I think)
WESLEY: That was a gift from the Captain.
LAFORGE: And he should have it back.
(Cards and poker chips)
WESLEY: Those should go to Commander Riker.
LAFORGE: Data always fell for Riker's bluffs.
(A box with eight medals in it)
WESLEY: These are some of Starfleet's highest honours.
LAFORGE: Not bad for a walking pile of circuitry and memory cells.
(and the hologram of Tasha Yar)
LAFORGE: You know, I keep going over and over the accident in my mind, trying to figure out what went wrong. I can see Data in the shuttle, almost like I'm sitting there next to him going through the departure sequence. What the hell happened? Why didn't I see it coming? What am I missing?



Always a great scene. Although I do wonder why Data owns the poker set and not Riker.


PICARD: We must select an officer to replace Data at Ops. Recommendations?
RIKER: Worf would be my first choice, sir.
PICARD: Mine as well. Make it so.



What? While Worf is no doubt trained to man Ops in a pinch, he doesn't know enough to man it permanently. Data should have an assistant who can take the post until he's promoted or a new officer is transferred in. I know, I know, this provides for good characterization for Worf, but that doesn't negate the point.



(Picard opens the copy of Shakespeare that has been returned to him at Data's bookmark. It's Hamlet, Act 1, Scene 2)
PICARD: (reading) He was a man, taken for all in all. I shall not look upon his like again.



Great line.

FAJO: You are still wearing that uniform. Why?
DATA: I am a Starfleet officer.
FAJO: You are not in Starfleet any longer.



A debatable point. Starfleet considers him dead by now, but when Scotty returned nobody acts like he no longer has a rank.



DATA: I have been designed with a fundamental respect for life in all its forms and a strong inhibition against causing harm to living beings.
FAJO: What a marvellous contradiction. A military pacifist. Tell me, whose dreadful decision was it to enlist you in Starfleet to begin with?



Ugh. I also have a fundamental respect for life and would never commit murder, but I don't consider killing in war or self-defense to be impossibilities.



As for whether or not it's reasonable that Data hasn't killed yet...I suppose so. At this point, that is. Even if you don't count Borg drones as things that can be killed (a whole discussion by itself), it's likely that he killed Jem'Hadar during the Dominion War.


TROI: I know, but this isn't a Klingon ship and Data was your friend. And it's the second time you've replaced a crewmate who's died.
WORF: I honour Data's memory, as I did Lieutenant Yar's, by attempting to perform their duties as well as they did.
TROI: In true Klingon fashion.
WORF: I appreciate your concern.



Worf's position is valid and there's a lot to discuss here. My immediate question is whether or not Worf considers Data's death any more honorable than Tasha's.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
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  #187  
Old 03-24-2021, 12:51 AM
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TOFF: With the pearls intact? FAJO: Please. Pearls were added by the Ferengi agents to increase the value.



I find this an interesting concept. While Earth pearls are so simple in construction that they can probably be replicated, who says that there isn't an alien equivalent that are as nonreplicatable as latinum?

__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
Reply With Quote
  #188  
Old 03-24-2021, 12:52 AM
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Nate the Great Nate the Great is offline
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May 7th, 1990 "The Most Toys"


Fiver (by Kira)

Transcript
Memory Alpha


The Episode

VARRIA: Twenty six point eight kilos of tripolymer composites. Eleven point eight kilos of molybdenum-cobalt alloy. One point three kilos Bioplast sheeting.



The numbers indicate that she's reading a list of material in decreasing order of mass. Forty kilos is ninety pounds. I'm pretty sure Data is supposed to be heavier than a person. Still within the carrying capacity of a Klingon, but heavier than a person.



Incidentally, molybdenum-cobalt composites are toxic. And why isn't his structural frame made of duranium?



WESLEY: I can't believe he's gone.
LAFORGE: I always thought he'd outlive us, by centuries.
(Wesley uncovers a painting)
WESLEY: He'd been working on this for months. He never felt it was quite finished.
LAFORGE: You know what a critic Data was, especially about his own work.
(Geordi opens a drawer and takes out a book. Shakespeare, I think)
WESLEY: That was a gift from the Captain.
LAFORGE: And he should have it back.
(Cards and poker chips)
WESLEY: Those should go to Commander Riker.
LAFORGE: Data always fell for Riker's bluffs.
(A box with eight medals in it)
WESLEY: These are some of Starfleet's highest honours.
LAFORGE: Not bad for a walking pile of circuitry and memory cells.
(and the hologram of Tasha Yar)
LAFORGE: You know, I keep going over and over the accident in my mind, trying to figure out what went wrong. I can see Data in the shuttle, almost like I'm sitting there next to him going through the departure sequence. What the hell happened? Why didn't I see it coming? What am I missing?



Always a great scene. Although I do wonder why Data owns the poker set and not Riker.


PICARD: We must select an officer to replace Data at Ops. Recommendations?
RIKER: Worf would be my first choice, sir.
PICARD: Mine as well. Make it so.



What? While Worf is no doubt trained to man Ops in a pinch, he doesn't know enough to man it permanently. Data should have an assistant who can take the post until he's promoted or a new officer is transferred in. I know, I know, this provides for good characterization for Worf, but that doesn't negate the point.



(Picard opens the copy of Shakespeare that has been returned to him at Data's bookmark. It's Hamlet, Act 1, Scene 2)
PICARD: (reading) He was a man, taken for all in all. I shall not look upon his like again.



Great line.

FAJO: You are still wearing that uniform. Why?
DATA: I am a Starfleet officer.
FAJO: You are not in Starfleet any longer.



A debatable point. Starfleet considers him dead by now, but when Scotty returned nobody acts like he no longer has a rank.



DATA: I have been designed with a fundamental respect for life in all its forms and a strong inhibition against causing harm to living beings.
FAJO: What a marvellous contradiction. A military pacifist. Tell me, whose dreadful decision was it to enlist you in Starfleet to begin with?



Ugh. I also have a fundamental respect for life and would never commit murder, but I don't consider killing in war or self-defense to be impossibilities.



As for whether or not it's reasonable that Data hasn't killed yet...I suppose so. At this point, that is. Even if you don't count Borg drones as things that can be killed (a whole discussion by itself), it's likely that he killed Jem'Hadar during the Dominion War.


TROI: I know, but this isn't a Klingon ship and Data was your friend. And it's the second time you've replaced a crewmate who's died.
WORF: I honour Data's memory, as I did Lieutenant Yar's, by attempting to perform their duties as well as they did.
TROI: In true Klingon fashion.
WORF: I appreciate your concern.



Worf's position is valid and there's a lot to discuss here. My immediate question is whether or not Worf considers Data's death any more honorable than Tasha's.




FAJO: This is not a mannequin. This is Data. This is formerly Lieutenant Commander Data of the Federation Starfleet. The only sentient android in existence.



I'd prefer "Data, formerly of the Federation Starfleet", but whatever. Only sentient android in existence? Oh, boy, that's a loaded question. Ruk and company are all dead, that's okay. All the Flint-type androids are dead, ditto. The Ilia probe...probably dead. Mudd's jailers...probably not. In fact, I hope they eventually joined the Federation.


Wesley: There's some naked pictures of Tasha under the bed.
La Forge: What? How do you know that?
Wesley: Uh…I plead the fifth.



Actually in the Constitution of the Federation the protection against self-incrimination is the Seventh Guarantee.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
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  #189  
Old 03-24-2021, 12:57 AM
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PICARD: Mister Crusher, put us into close orbit. Mister Data, scan. My apologies, Mister Worf.


Again, nice moment.


FAJO: It's not just lethal. It's vicious. It tears a body apart, inside out, and very slowly too by your phaser standards. It's tortuous. A very, very painful death. I've always wanted to try this.



These Faron-T disruptors had tremendous potential, I'm sad they never appeared again. Well, the prop appeared in "Starship Mine", but I doubt it was meant to be a Faron-T disruptor.


COMPUTER: Accessing file Kivas Fajo. A Zibalian trader of the Stacius trade guild, educated on Iraaten Five. A noted collector of rare and valuable objects including the Rejac Crystal, the Starry Night by Van Gogh, the Lawmim Galactopedia, the Moliam Andi tapestries...


You'd think Picard would've looked this up before they met him in the first place. The Rejac Crystal is obviously a reference to "Wolf in the Fold". The Starry Night is currently in New York's Museum of Modern Art. I doubt they'd sell it any more than the Louve would sell the Mona Lisa. The other two only appear here.



WESLEY: The Jovis has a maximum speed of warp three. He's had twenty three hours so we can define a perimeter of point one oh two light years as his possible distance.



Using the most traditional TNG equation Warp Three is 38.9c, so 23 hours is 37.3 light-years. 0.102 light-years in 23 hours is 0.1064c, half-impulse! Heaven forbid they actually consult the available charts and say "thirty-five light years"!


Furthermore, 0.102 light-years is 965 million kilometers, about the distance from the Sun to Jupiter. The Enterprise should be able to find it with its own sensors!

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mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
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  #190  
Old 03-24-2021, 12:58 AM
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O'BRIEN: I'm reading a weapon in transit with Commander Data. It seems to have discharged, sir.
RIKER: Discharged?
O'BRIEN: I'm deactivating it.
RIKER: Welcome back, Mister Data. Are you all right?
DATA: Yes, Commander. Please arrange to take Kivas Fajo into custody on charges of murder, kidnapping, theft.
RIKER: The arrangements have already been made.
DATA: A Varon-T disruptor. It belongs to Fajo.
RIKER: Mister O'Brien says the weapon was in a state of discharge.
DATA: Perhaps something occurred during transport, Commander.



Soon enough we'll get to people's opinions on why Data lied here, but my opinion is that this is stupid. Nobody would question Data's motivation to kill Fajo once they hear the story.



The Fiver

Fajo: Congratulations, you've been selected to join my cool collection of stuff! I've got some guy's baseball card, an extinct slug, and a draft version of the script for "Star Trek V" that didn't suck.
Data: Ooooo!



A good version of Star Trek V? That's as likely as infinite speed turning people into lizards!

Troi: So, Worf…you've been promoted twice because of accidents that killed superior officers.
Worf: Are you implying something?
Troi: Nope, just stating the obvious as usual.
Worf: Good. I wonder if I can arrange to go on a dangerous away mission with Commander Riker….



Even if we accept that Worf is qualified to take Data's job, he's not ready to take Riker's.



Fajo: It's not a statue, it's a one-of-a-kind android -- watch this. Hello, Data.
(Data fails to react)
Toff: Pfft. He's not one-of-a-kind. I've got Robert Beltran in my collection and he does the same thing.



I never did like the wooden Chakotay joke. It was a writing problem, not an acting problem.


Fajo: Sit in that chair or I'll shoot poor Varria here.
Data: I'd still rather not.
Fajo: But just think how guilty you'll feel if she dies.
Data: I do not have any feelings.
Fajo: Less pointing out plot holes, more sitting.



Data can mourn via a sensation of emptiness, plus I think Data can "feel" bad about causing the death of another without actual emotion.


Varria: AAAAAAAA!
Data: Mind if I borrow your gun?
Varria: I'm dead, you moron. I was just vaporized.
Data: In that case, I guess you won't mind.



Hehe. I would've probably namedropped actress Jane Daly and had her walk away demanding her agent or something.




__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
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  #191  
Old 03-30-2021, 08:54 PM
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May 14th, 1990, "Sarek"

Transcript
Fiver (by IJD GAF)
Memory Alpha

The Episode

Captain's log: Stardate 43917.4 The Enterprise has been given the singular honour of hosting the first meeting between the Federation and a mysterious race known as the Legarans.

Um, Sarek started talking with these guys 93 years ago. That doesn't count as a "first meeting" with the Federation?

Captain's log: We are in orbit around Vulcan, preparing to welcome aboard Federation Ambassador Sarek and his wife Perrin, who like his first wife, is from Earth.

Um, Sarek's first wife wasn't Amanda, it was Sybok's mother the Vulcan princess (known as T'Rea in the novels).

It's interesting to note that nothing expressly contradicts the notion that there were wives in between Amanda and Perrin. Amanda died in 2293 (if you believe the novel Sarek) or 2311 (if you believe the novel "The Fire and the Rose). That's over fifty years for there to be other wives. Then again, a comic states that Perrin and Sarek married in 2327.

RIKER: I remember studying his career in school. The treaty of Alpha Cygnus Nine, the Coridan admission to the Federation, the Klingon Alliance.

Alpha Cygus Nine is only mentioned here (another episode has an Okudagram cameo). Coridan is of course from "The Journey to Babel."

PICARD: I met him once, many years ago, very briefly at his son's wedding.

Whether or not this is a reference to Spock is a complicated matter. The novels make it clear that it was and that Spock was engaged to Saavik. This took place in 2328 or 2329 (Picard is referencing the engagement ceremony, remember that the initial bonding is more than an engagement and less than a marriage), the actual wedding didn't take place until 2344. Don't ask me why adult Vulcans would have a prolonged engagement.

MENDROSSEN: Which is why it is imperative that he be allowed to conserve his strength. I must request that you dispense with any formal activities normally associated with a visitor of his rank.

Besides the Mozart concert and a formal reception, what would be appropriate for a visitor of his rank? A kal-toh tournament in his honor? Inviting him to lead a lecture? Including him in senior staff briefings?

Or maybe I'm just used to TOS ambassadors who keep sticking their noses in places that they don't belong.

WESLEY: Yeah, I have a date.
LAFORGE: A date? With who?
WESLEY: Ensign Dumont.
LAFORGE: Really? She's very attractive. I've got to admit, Wes, I'm a bit surprised.
WESLEY: What, that she'd go out with me?
LAFORGE: No, that you'd actually have the nerve to ask her. Way to go.

Cute scene.

PERRIN: My husband has taken an interest in your career. He finds it to be satisfactory.
PICARD: My word! High praise from a Vulcan.

Nice touch.

WESLEY: Since when did you become an expert on women?
LAFORGE: Compared to you, every male on this ship is an expert on women.

An interesting question, who's the biggest loser when it comes to women? At this point Wesley's biggest relationship was with Salia, and Geordi has only fallen in love with a hologram. Wesley will go on to be with Robin Lefler, while Geordi only has Aquiel on his dance card. I'd say Geordi is the biggest loser. Other opinions?

WESLEY: Well at least I don't have to find my women on the holodeck!
LAFORGE: What did you say?
WESLEY: You heard me!

This isn't fair. Geordi didn't create the Brahms hologram to be a date, he just wanted someone less mechanical to talk to.

DATA: I have been programmed to reproduce the individual musical styles of over three hundred concert violinists, including Heifetz, Menuhin, Grak-tay and Tataglia. Do you have a preference?
PERRIN: Tataglia would be lovely.

I don't like this. If you want the Tataglia version of Mozart, you can ask the computer to make one. Data is supposed to be using these prior artists as teachers, not just reproduce their performances.

CRUSHER: I thought you were going to be at the concert last night.
WESLEY: I said I may be going. Suzanne wanted to go to the arboretum.
CRUSHER: Captain Picard asked me where you were. I don't like making excuses for you.
WESLEY: Excuses? Come on, Mom. It wasn't an official function.

Lots to unpack here. Can Picard order the senior staff to attend diplomatic functions when they're not directly involved? Does Wesley count as a senior officer for such functions anyway? Did Picard make it clear to Wesley that his presence was desired?

SAKKATH: Counsellor Troi is a Betazoid?
DATA: Half-Betazoid. Her father was human.
SAKKATH: Then she is not a true telepath?
DATA: Her skills are empathic in nature.

So Sakkath doesn't want Troi spilling the beans about Sarek, fair enough. But I'd think the level of her abilities would be in a profile somewhere that Sarek (and his staff) can access. This won't be the first or last time someone tries to get information out of Data under the assumption that Data wouldn't find their behavior weird. It's getting old.

DATA: Extensive. The Captain's first diplomatic contact dates back to
SAKKATH: And what of his knowledge of the Legarans? Would he be able to conduct negotiations with them should the need arise?
DATA: Do you foresee such a circumstance occurring?

I thought Sarek was the only member of the Federation that's even talked with these people, and it took forty years to get the relationship to "let's talk officially" levels. I don't think Picard could substitute in this case.

TROI: Vulcans possess telepathic ability. Sarek may unintentionally be projecting intense emotions onto other people, at random.

This is one part of the plot that I never liked. Vulcans have always been presented as touch-telepaths, with the farthest from that being using other materials as a conduit or extremely short-range through the air. The Enterprise is a kilometer long and way too big for a Vulcan to broadcast emotions unless they are literally holding the Stone of Gol.

PICARD: And when the Legarans beam on board?
CRUSHER: They could very well be affected too.
PICARD: Is there a treatment?

There must be way to sedate a Vulcan into a sleep so deep that they don't emit telepathic signals. At least enough for the Legarans, I get the feeling that they aren't typical humanoids if they like to sit in hot mud.

DATA: Captain Picard is not satisfied with Ki Mendrossen's assurances that the Ambassador is in good health. Do you consider Sarek capable of carrying out his mission?
SAKKATH: Have I given you cause to think otherwise?
DATA: You have voiced certain reservations to me about his abilities.
SAKKATH: I do not recall making such a statement.
DATA: Not directly, no. But you did question me about the diplomatic capabilities of both Captain Picard and Counsellor Troi.
SAKKATH: I am honour-bound to help Sarek carry out this mission. That is the only answer I can give.
DATA: Then you must decide which is your greater obligation. Your loyalty to Sarek or your duty to the Federation. Can you accept the logic of continuing this mission?
SAKKATH: Tell your Captain the mission is in jeopardy.

It's always fun to see somebody out-logic a Vulcan.

PICARD: It's ironic, isn't it? All this magnificent technology and we find ourselves still susceptible to the ravages of old age. The loss of dignity, the slow betrayal of our bodies by forces we cannot master. Do you still want to be one of us, Data?

Can modern Trek even come close to this level of philosophy?

SAREK: The Legarans trust only me. They will not meet with any other member of the Federation. I must be allowed to complete my mission! There are no other logical solutions!
PICARD: No other logical solutions? But Ambassador, there are always other solutions. You have said so yourself many times.
SAREK: What I meant was that
PICARD: Sarek of Vulcan would never be afraid of looking straight at something he did not want to see.
SAREK: I warn you! Your efforts to discredit me will not succeed!
PICARD: Sarek of Vulcan never confused what he wanted with the truth.
SAREK: I will not be spoken to in this manner!
PICARD: Do I hear anger in your voice?
SAREK: It would be illogical for a Vulcan to show anger! It would be illogical! Illogical! Illogical! Illogical!

Brutal, Picard. Brutal.

PICARD: He loves you very much.
PERRIN: I know. I have always known.

Nice touch.

SAREK: We shall always retain the best part of the other inside us.
PICARD: I believe I have the best part of that bargain, Ambassador.

And people have the nerve to say that TNG is boring.
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
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  #192  
Old 03-30-2021, 08:55 PM
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The Fiver

Sakkath: (waves) We're the ambassador's aides. We always beam aboard first to ensure that nobody annoys Sarek during his stay here. He's an old man, and as such is easily annoyed by kids on skateboards and the like.

I wonder what the punchline would be these days. The fiver was published in 2004. That's before iPhones even existed. How did we survive without Twitter or YouTube?

Sarek: You call this a slime pit? And the walls are too bright. And the furniture too "2350s". And--

Egads, the days of Pike? Burn, Sarek, burn!

Perrin: (Thanks for changing the concert last minute)
Picard: (No problem; none of us like the "La La Lojix" either.)

When I do a source for "La la Logix" all I get is the fiver (which is also on TrekToday for some reason). Explanation, IJD GAF? A typo?

Crusher: ....and then, Wesley and I broke into a round of "your mother" jokes. For some reason or another, he won.

"Your mother jokes"? I thought they were "Yo' momma", or "Yer mum" in Britain.

Memory Alpha

* The "don't reference TOS" rule was still in effect, so it took a lot of work to slip "Spock" into the dialogue the one time.
* First appearance of Ensign Gates, who would man CONN for 46 episodes. Yikes.
* Ronald Moore thought this episode was better than "Journey to Babel." Ha ha ha. Keep telling yourself that, Ron.

Nitpicker's Guide

* Why wouldn't Lwaxana's phase in "Manhunt" create more havok than Sarek here, given the differences between Betazoid and Vulcan telepathy?
* Wouldn't one of the other Vulcans on board be a better fit than Picard for the mindmeld? Then again, in the second volume Phil notes that the extreme emotions would be distasteful for the Vulcans on board.
* Sarek and Perrin are holding hands when they beamed out. Wouldn't the two beams cause trouble? I refute this saying that we've seen instances of the transporter pads linking up to transport larger objects. In particular I can think of the Bringloidi in "Up the Long Ladder."
* A part of the Mozart concert is actually a Brahms piece. Oops.
* Sarek forgets to give the Vulcan salute upon boarding the ship. I think you can chalk that one up to his condition.
* The slime pit is 150 degrees Celsius, which is over 300 degrees Farenheit. How are our crew just wandering around in there? Are there forcefields around the pits?
__________________
mudshark: Nate's just being...Nate.
Zeke: It comes nateurally to him.

mudshark: I don't expect Nate to make sense, really -- it's just a bad idea.

Sa'ar Chasm on the 5M.net forum: Sit back, relax, and revel in the insanity.

Adam Savage: I reject your reality and substitute my own!

Hanlon's Razor: Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Crow T. Robot: Oh, stop pretending there's a plot. Don't cheapen yourself further.
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