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Old 07-30-2003, 11:26 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Star Trek has all its technology to solve problems, but sometimes Duct Tape is the only to go. Forget that technobabble, Duct Tape will solve any problem.

1. Use Duct tape to keep the warp core from breaching[/colorost_uid0]
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Old 07-30-2003, 11:39 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]2. Nacelles hanging by a thread after that nasty dogfight with the Klingon cruisers? Duct tape to the rescue! [/colorost_uid0]
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Old 07-31-2003, 12:40 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]3. Running out of Redshirts to kill off? Just Duct-Tape the old ones back together![/colorost_uid0]
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Old 07-31-2003, 12:41 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]4. Use it to seal leaking ducts (which is apparently the only thing duct tape can't be used for in real life).

The handyman's secret weapon: duct tape.[/colorost_uid0]
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Old 07-31-2003, 01:19 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]5. To shut Neelix up. Thank Ivanova for small favours![/colorost_uid0]
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Old 07-31-2003, 01:24 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]6. By Neelix to cover peoples noses so they have to swallow to breathe.[/colorost_uid0]
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Old 07-31-2003, 01:32 AM
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[quoteost_uid0="Arzosah"][color=#000000ost_uid0]6. By Neelix to cover peoples noses so they have to swallow to breathe.[/colorost_uid0][/quoteost_uid0]
[color=#000000ost_uid0]LoLol!

7. Ever wonder how Voyager destroys one shuttle a week and still manages to have a "full complement" halfway through its run? If you look carefully, all the later shuttles are merely pieces of previously destroyed ones sealed together with duct tape.[/colorost_uid0]
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Old 07-31-2003, 01:36 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]8. Ever wonder why Voyager and the Enterprise are grey? They used duct tape to cover up all the battle damage. That is why you dont see the damage from the previous episodes.[/colorost_uid0]
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Old 07-31-2003, 01:42 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]9. It goes without saying that the only thing holding any of Seven of Nine's costumes together is duct tape.[/colorost_uid0]
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Old 07-31-2003, 02:14 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]Indeed, taya. :lol:

10. Duct tape is preferred by 19 out of 20 compassionate crewmembers for the job of shutting up anyone who appears to be about to mention the "antim**** ra********" phrase in Janeway's presence, if you know what I mean.


[quoteost_uid0="NAHTMMM"]2. Nacelles hanging by a thread after that nasty dogfight with the Klingon cruisers? Duct tape to the rescue![/quoteost_uid0]

Click here for a lame illustration of the above from [iost_uid0]The Handyman's Guide to Starship-Patching[/iost_uid0]. (The other cruisers are presumably off to the side, out of the field of view. Hey, hire a cheap artist, get cheap results.)[/colorost_uid0]

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Old 07-31-2003, 04:05 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]11. Every wonder why Mayweather doesnt talk much? Duct tape...[/colorost_uid0]
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Old 07-31-2003, 05:04 AM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]12. How do you avoid reading about every Star Trek cliche and the d-t word? White out on the screen. I mean, uh, duct tape.[/colorost_uid0]
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Old 07-31-2003, 01:42 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]13. How do you repair an exploded console in the middle of crisis situation, when all engeneers are busy? Even Troi can use Duct tape.[/colorost_uid0]
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Old 07-31-2003, 02:49 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]14. The Doctor could have modified duct tape to take out the mutant DNA in Paris, along with some other things as well.[/colorost_uid0]
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Old 07-31-2003, 04:39 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]15. Use as a substitute for seatbelts in crisis situations (You know they need them)[/colorost_uid0]
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Old 07-31-2003, 08:56 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]16. How do you think Sisko shaved his head so cleanly?

17. Picard, too.[/colorost_uid0]
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Old 07-31-2003, 09:01 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]18. Duct Tape is a Tribble's worst nightmare[/colorost_uid0]
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Old 07-31-2003, 09:51 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]17. T'Pol's outfit is just fuzzy duct tape.[/colorost_uid0]
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Old 07-31-2003, 09:53 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]19. Anti Grav plating no longer work? Duct tape yourself to the deck![/colorost_uid0]
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Old 07-31-2003, 10:07 PM
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[color=#000000ost_uid0]20. It will probably be shown by future studies that those nifty shockwave rings are caused by the matter/energy conversion of duct tape used to buy those "last few crucial seconds" necessary to facilitate the escape of somebody-or-other.[/colorost_uid0]
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