Five-Minute Mega Man: The Game Boy Games
|Mega Man: Dr. Wily's Revenge|
Dr. Wily: Mwahahahaha! I have a brilliant idea! Rather than designing a new set of Robot Masters to destroy Mega Man, I'll simply rebuild some of the ones he's already defeated!|
Met: Brilliant? Sounds like lazy to me.
Dr. Wily: You dare question your creator?
Met: What are you gonna do about it? I'm invincible.
Cut Man: Prepare to die, Mega Man!
Mega Man: That was tiring. I guess I'd better go find Wily and stop him.
Enker: Greetings, Mega Man.
Dr. Wily: Mwahahaha! You'll never stop my death machine!
Mega Man: Well, that was easy. I have a question, though. Why was my energy meter so much shorter this time?
|Mega Man II|
Dr. Wily: Okay, so rebuilding those eight Robot Masters didn't work. I'll try the next eight.|
Sniper Joe: Hey, I have an idea. Why not make a couple hundred of each? I'd like to see Mega Man stop --
Dr. Wily: There will be eight.
Sniper Joe: But obviously you can build them without too much trouble. A few more could --
Dr. Wily: THERE WILL BE EIGHT.
Sniper Joe: But why not --
Dr. Wily: I think I'll build eight Robot Masters now.
Dr. Light: Bad news, Mega Man.
Crash Man, Air Man, Wood Man, and Metal Man: Hello again.
Quint: Well, if it isn't my past self!
Quint: Enough talk! I summon... Sakugarne!
Dr. Wily: Say hello to my newest death machine.
Dr. Light: You know, we're lucky Wily is so incompetent. He had a time machine and didn't think of, say, killing me in the past before I created you.
|Mega Man III|
Dr. Wily: Mega Man doesn't stand a chance this time. This batch of Robot Masters is way tougher than the last two.|
Met: Then why didn't you build them first?
Dr. Wily: I've had about enough of your backtalk. Guts Man, drop a safe on him.
Guts Man: We've already broken three safes that way.
Dr. Wily: More backtalk! Bomb Man, blow him up!
Bomb Man: Why don't you make me, fluffy?
Dr. Wily: (sigh) I had to build them smart. From now on, good old-fashioned blind obedience.
Dr. Light: Well, this is new. Wily's taken over an oil rig.
Shadow Man, Spark Man, Snake Man, and Gemini Man: Hi again.
Punk: Hi. I'm Punk.
Dr. Wily: You'll never defeat this death machine.
Dr. Light: Well done, Mega Man. You've foiled Wily's oily plans.
|Mega Man IV|
Dr. Wily: This time! This time, dammit! I will kill him this time!|
Ballade: Well, you've already built me. That's a good start. Now who else can you build?
Dr. Wily: I've got it! Toad Man!
Ballade: I'm starting to see where your problem is.
Dr. Light: Mega Man! Wily just took control of every robot in the city except you!
Mega Man: Take this, evildoe-- whoa! What's with the recoil on this thing?
Toad Man, Pharaoh Man, Bright Man, and Ring Man: Hello.
Ballade: Back, Mega Man! The power of Ballade commands you!
Dr. Wily: This death machine you won't stop!
Mega Man: Rats! This place is gonna blow and I can't get out!
Dr. Light: Good job yet again, Mega Man. Next time Wily will know better than to attack you, at least openly.
|Mega Man V|
Mega Man: What a nice day for a walk. Not a cloud in the sky.|
Roll: StarDroids, yeah. But no clouds.
Mega Man: What? Where's --
Terra: Greetings! DIE!
Mega Man: (sigh) Great. Stand back, sis, I'll take this guy out. Piece of cake.
Terra: Piece of what now?
Mega Man: Will... answer... when these little floating Beats shut up....
Dr. Light: Well, that was a spectacular bust. Good thing you have me to upgrade you.
Mercury: Hi, I'm Mercury. Hg to my friends. YOINK!
Mars: I am Mars!
Mega Man: A suspiciously Toad Man-looking guy. I'm starting to detect another pattern here. Which one are you?
Neptune: I know, I know. Wave Man.
Terra: You again? I'm not wasting my time. Dark Moon the giant rock monster will handle you.
Dr. Light: Guess where Terra ran off to? They're building another four StarDroids!
Mega Man: So you're Jupiter? I was expecting someone a little... bigger.
Mega Man: Ring Man?
Uranus: HA HA HA.
Mega Man: All I'm saying is, he'd better not look like Mickey Mouse's dog.
Mega Man: You seem small and manageable.
Terra: If the other StarDroids couldn't beat you, I'll just have to do it myself!
Enker: Remember me?
Wily's Third Death Machine: GAK!
Dr. Wily: You're so screwed. I'm going to awaken this ancient robot to destroy you.
Sunstar: Pleased to meet you. I'm the ancient weapon Sunstar.
Sunstar: Arrgh! Defeated! My energy is building to an overload! How do men die in this age?
Dr. Wily: Curse you, Mega Man! This is the fifth time you've foiled my plans for global domination on the Game Boy alone!
Got a comment on this fiver? Contact Zeke.
DISCLAIMER: A lot of stuff in here is copyrighted by Capcom, and since you never know when a new Mega Man game will come out, I'd better stay on their good side. Incidentally, Rockman and Forte does not count as Mega Man 9. Mega Man 9 has not been produced yet. Rockman and Forte does use Mega Man and Bass, but the game's structure is sufficiently different from the MM series to disqualify it. Are we clear on that now?
All material © 2004, Colin Hayman.