Five-Minute Stargate SG-1: "Beneath the Surface" by Hejira Brenna: Each and every one of you brainwashed victims, I mean, 'hard workers' did a good job! Do more! Workers: Creepy line of loyalty. Kegan: I hate you. Sam: Good. I hate you too. Jack: Can I be manly and get you some bread? Sam: If you got some butter, maybe we could move to a different timeslot - Teal'c: This isn't right! We're brainwashed! I'll be Tuvok in a later life! Noo... Jack: You know, he caught my eye... Kegan: Let me tell you some tales about crazy people who believe we are brainwashed. Daniel: Freaky. Brenna: Something wrong? Sam: Tech, TECH! Brenna: Nice plan. Jack: Aren't we cute, looking like a couple? Sam: Yeah - it'd suck if we were brainwashed and we were originally not supposed to get involved because of regulations, wouldn't it? Jack: As if that'd happen. Kegan: I'm going to try to alienate you from your pre-brainwashing friends. Daniel: It's working for now. Administrator: They were crazy and wanted to take a walk in the brisk air. Hammond: Are you sure? Administrator: Please don't tell me you're implying that I added them to my brainwashed slave labour force. Hammond: Absolutely not. Administrator: I want to see how SG-1's doing in my brainwashed slave labour force. Someone: I'll get Brenna, but she may be talking another language. Administrator: What language? Someone: Technobabble. Daniel: You said crazy stuff. Teal'c: Did not. I'm snubbing you. Daniel: Nuts. Kegan: He's nuts. Daniel: I've had dreams about him. Kegan: You're nuts, wait, you're not. Sorry, hon. Administrator: The brainwashing didn't work on Teal'c. You suck. Brenna: Do not! TECH TECH TECH! Administrator: You still suck. Brenna: It's not my tech! Sam: Did you see my tech? Brenna: It sucks. Sam: What about the other tech? Brenna: It sucks too. Sam: You thought it was cool! Brenna: Yeah, but...it just sucks. Get out. Sam: Creeply line of loyalty. Jack: Give her small bits, and she won't think it sucks. Sam: I l...l...lo...l...darn, it's not the last season yet! Jack: Freaky line from a past life. Someone: The administrator sucks. Hammond: Anything new? Someone: Um...no. Kegan: I cut down tall poppies for a living. Daniel: Nuts. Sam: TECH TECH, and Tech will stop the pressure building up. Jack: Let's go. Daniel: I'll help because I don't want an ABOTW. Teal'c: I'm sick. *sniffle* Brenna: What do we say? Daniel, Sam, and Jack: Creepy line of loyalty. Sam: My tech worked. Brenna: Something sucks here. Jack: You could have said *she* sucked. Daniel: Can I hang? Crazy. Sam: Sure. Crazy. Jack: Can you two stop talking crazy? Freaky line from a past life. Sam: My turn! Freaky line from a past life. Hammond: I think the administrator likes being surrounded by ice. Fraiser: You don't suppose he has a brainwashed slave labour force below his city, do you? Jack: Hey, a bowl! Wow... Sam: Dreams are one thing, but using a bowl to recover memories - Jack: Don't cut into my flashback! Jack: My flashback. Daniel: I'm hanging with my old buds. Kegan: You suck. Teal'c: I'm really sick now. Brenna: Aww. I'm going now. Teal'c: Maybe I'm not so sick. Jack: Ever watch The Simpsons? I like Homer. Sam: Can you hear the 'shippy music? Sigh. Jack: I l...lo...loo...drat. Brenna: Teal'c sick. I think we did it to them. Administrator: The rest of SG-1? Brenna: They're buds again. Administrator: They suck. You suck. Brenna: Creepy line of loyalty. Jack: Hey, another flashback! Jack: You've got people underneath your city. You suck. Administrator: We'll see who sucks after the brain thing messes with your mind. Jack: *squeaks* Mummy. Someone: Will the former SG-1 get their butts to Brenna? She thinks you don't suck. Brenna: Teal'c's dying. God, that was freaky grammar. Jack: You suck. Brenna: You remember! YAY! Administrator: Brenna, you suck. I knew you sucked for a while. BANG! Brenna: Ow, that stings. Jack: Prepare for the fight scene! Teal'c: Here I go! BAM! I wasn't sick! Jack: Everyone, this guy sucks! Kegan: You suck! Daniel: He doesn't! Jack: I'm going to shoot a skylight now. BANG! Kegan: Somehow you don't suck anymore. Administrator: You know what sucks? You don't have a Prime Directive. Jack: Everybody out! Sam: Remember that 'as if' scenario? Jack: Yeah. It sucks, doesn't it? Sam: Yes sir. THE END Legal notices. You are number ### to not get Union wages.