Five-Minute Stargate SG-1: "The Enemy Within" by Nate the Great HAMMOND: These are the first two planets you're going to go to. O'NEILL: Flip you for it. DAVIS: Incoming traveller! Closing the iris. (Thump thump thump) HAMMOND: Let's hope the Goa'uld give up soon. KAWALSKY: I've got a headache. I'll go to the infirmary. HAMMOND: Colonel Kennedy is coming to interrogate Teal'c. O'NEILL: Doesn't that sound fun? O'NEILL: Teal'c, I'm sorry to say that some of my superiors are coming to experiment on you. TEAL'C: I need to earn their trust. O'NEILL: Yep. DOCTOR: How long have you been having these headaches? KAWALSKY: Ever since I got back from Chulak. DOCTOR: Look at that lump on your neck! KAWALSKY: What lump? (Kills Doctor. Eyes glow.) Oh, that lump. DANIEL: We need to find this device near the Stargate if we want to come back. Hey, what's Kawalsky doing there? KAWALSKY: What am I doing here? O'NEILL: You must have blacked out. Back to the infirmary with you. KENNEDY: Hi Teal'c. What do you know about how Goa'uld ships or Stargates work? TEAL'C: Nothing. KENNEDY: Well that was helpful. TEAL'C: Indeed. KENNEDY: Where did they get their slaves? TEAL'C: From the First World, the Tau'ri. DANIEL: Teal'c, humans evolved here. TEAL'C: You are the Tau'ri? Wow. O'NEILL: Indeed. CARTER: You need to get some sleep. DANIEL: I know that. I just need to show the viewers I haven't forgotten about Sha're. CARTER: OK. WARNER: There's a Goa'uld in Kawalsky's brain. O'NEILL: Bummer. KAWALSKY GOA'ULD: Time to kidnap Carter in a futile escape attempt. CARTER: Why me? KAWALSKY GOA'ULD: You're the closest. CARTER: You'll never escape. KAWALSKY GOA'ULD: Shut up. (Throws her against wall) O'NEILL: What's going on? KAWALSKY: Help me get her to the infirmary! HAMMOND: Can you remove the Goa'uld? WARNER: Maybe. KAWALSKY: You need to cut it out of me! O'NEILL: Later. KENNEDY: Teal'c, we need to make sure that it's not your Goa'uld in Kawalsky. TEAL'C: OK. (He pulls it out) O'NEILL: Yuck! KAWALSKY GOA'ULD: Send me through the Stargate. HAMMOND: Not until we take you out of Kawalsky. KAWALSKY GOA'ULD: You will all die! KENNEDY: Maybe we should leave the Goa'uld inside Kawalsky if they'll both die if we remove it. HAMMOND: Let me think about it. No. KAWALSKY: If this doesn't work kill me. O'NEILL: OK. WARNER: The procedure worked! O'NEILL: How much time do we have left in the episode? WARNER: About twenty minutes. O'NEILL: Then I'm sure it didn't. KENNEDY: I'm going to turn Teal'c into a guinea pig! KAWALSKY GOA'ULD: Serve me, Jaffa! TEAL'C: No. KAWALSKY GOA'ULD: Then die! TEAL'C: Sorry, I'm a main character. I can't die. KAWALSKY GOA'ULD: Drat. TEAL'C: Indeed. KAWALSKY GOA'ULD: I'll go to Chulak! TEAL'C: I think not. O'NEILL: Let me stick your head in the wormhole. Turn it off! DANIEL: Ouch. TEAL'C: Indeed. HAMMOND: Thinks to a quick call to the President, Teal'c isn't going to be sent away after all. O'NEILL: Goody. HAMMOND: Time to go on your first mission and forget Kawalsky ever existed. O'NEILL: OK. THE END Legal notices. You are number ### to get a concussion in an elevator.