Five-Minute Stargate SG-1: "The First Ones" by Nate the great Rothman: Say hi to my pet fossilized Goa'uld Cleo, Daniel. Daniel: I'm gonna go out on a limb and say no. Rothman: Just for that, I'm not gonna tell you about the Unas sneaking up behind you. Daniel: Hey! Stargate: Whoosh! Rothman: An Unas took Daniel! O'Neill: Okay, who had Wednesday at 3 for when Daniel would get in trouble without us? Carter: That would be me. Hammond: Rats. I could have sworn it would be at least Thursday. Rothman: I wanna come on the rescue mission! O'Neill: Give me one good reason. Rothman: I can read Unas and you can't. O'Neill: I said a good reason. Daniel: I wanna lie down! Chaka: Growl! Daniel: Or not, whatever. Hawkins: I want my mommy! O'Neill: No one can take you home, so you'll have to come with us. Carter: Someone on our side who is not a recurring character. What is wrong with this picture? O'Neill: Something tells me I won't be shooting any Unases today, so why not a traitor? Daniel: Um, as much as I'd love to eat roasted symbiote, I think I'll pass. Wanna play catch instead? Chaka: Mmmm! Daniel: I'll take that as a yes. Want a candy bar? Chaka: Mmmm! Daniel: Babble babble drawings babble Goa'uld babble babble... Chakka: Ka! Daniel: I can't do archeobabble anymore? Waaa! Teal'c: One of you may be a Goa'uld. I will have to tie you up now. O'Neill: Is it time for a commercial again? Teal'c: Indeed. O'Neill: My, that was a fast eight minutes. Carter: Too bad the symbiotes here don't have any naquadah to trigger my Spider Sense. O'Neill: Wouldn't that be Snake Sense? Carter: Whatever. Hawkins: Now you die! Teal'c: I think not. Teal'c's Zat: Zap! Rothman: I will avenge him! Teal'c's Zat: Zap! Rothman: Ack! O'Neill: Rothman is dead? It's not even my birthday! Carter: Would you please stop dancing? Daniel: Hi, Mr. Unas. Please don't eat me. Alpha Unas: Growl! Chaka: Growl! Alpha Unas: Ack! O'Neill: What was that about? Daniel: Never mind. I need to get home to get the taste of snake head out of my mouth. Carter: Yuck. Teal'c: Indeed. THE END Legal notices. You are number ### to to feel your Carter Senses tingling.