Five-Minute Stargate SG-1: "Into the Fire"
by Nate the Great
MAKEPEACE: SG-1 has been taken prisoner by Hathor. There's a Tok'ra spy inside her fake SGC.
HAMMOND: I'm sending all the teams we have to rescue them.
DAVIS: I think not.
HAMMOND: I think so.
HATHOR: So which of you will become the new host?
HATHOR: Enough! O'Neill will become the new host.
O'NEILL: Oh goody.
TEAL'C: Hi Bra'tac.
BRA'TAC: Hi Teal'c. The people are in a panic for fear that Klorel will return to reenslave them.
TEAL'C: That's a problem for a future episode. This time I need to raise an army to help my friends.
BRA'TAC: Oh goody.
HATHOR: Say hello to your new bodymate.
O'NEILL: Do I have to? Ouch!
RAULLY: The cryo-tank will destroy the Goa'uld.
O'NEILL: Kinda figured that. Now only am I a main character, I'm the main character.
RAULLY: I really wish we weren't allied with you.
MAKEPEACE: Hi Captain. Where's Jack?
CARTER: He's a new host.
MAKEPEACE: Drat. Oh well, guess we'd better abandon him and run for our lives.
CARTER: Works for me. Maybe I'll finally take over SG-1 now.
MAKEPEACE: We've lost contact with the team that's guarding the Gate!
DANIEL: Since Teal'c isn't here I'll say 'Indeed' for him.
MAKEPEACE: Oh, goody, an energy barrier.
CARTER: Think we could dig under it?
CARTER: Then I guess we need to find some Tok'ra tunnels that lead back inside.
MAKEPEACE: Here it is! How did you know that?
CARTER: I read the script.
HAMMOND: I'm going to send them reenforcements.
DAVIS: I think not. And this time the president thinks not, too.
CARTER: I'm going to go blow up the shield generator!
TEAL'C: The Goa'uld are not gods. Now that I've futilely tried to destroy your religion, who wants to be in my army?
CROWD: Not me. See ya!
HAMMOND: I'll be in your army.
TEAL'C: What are you doing here?
HAMMOND: That's a long story best told offscreen.
CARTER: Hi Jack. The Goa'uld's dead.
HATHOR: I will destroy you!
O'NEILL: I think not. (He tips her into the cryo-tank) Now that's a serious case of freezer burn.
CARTER: You had to say it, didn't you?
O'NEILL: They didn't let me in the original episode.
CARTER: Whatever. Let's go.
BRA'TAC: Look at this ancient glider that's just small enough to fit through the Stargate.
HAMMOND: Are you sure?
CARTER: There's the shield generator. And it's right behind the fake Stargate!
O'NEILL: OK, who didn't see that coming? Let's set up the explosive and go.
O'NEILL: Before you guys start killing each other, I think you should know I killed Hathor.
TROFSKY: Yeah, right.
O'NEILL: Hey, look at that big glider! We're saved!
Legal notices. You are number ### to be frozen in a big tank.