Five-Minute Stargate SG-1: "In the Line of Duty" by Sara B O'Neill: Carter, we leave now or get squished. Carter: I'm giving this man mouth-to-mouth... since you won't. Jackson: Everyone form an orderly queue, no pushing. Nasyans: Lemme through before we get squished! [Bloke Sam's doing mouth-to-mouth to dies when her eyes go all glowly.] [They arrive home thro' 'gate.] Jackson: They attacked for no reason. Hammond: Huh? Teal'c: The Goa'uld do not have to have a reason to kill... I miss them. Jolinar: There's always a reason, Apophis wouldn't tell you, you weren't important. Teal'c: Dang, I never thought of that! He sucks. Hammond: You should investigate. O'Neill: Carter, medical. Jolinar: But you know what Janet's like! ... Okay I'm going. Fraiser: Looks like you got a sore throat; cough sweet? Jolinar: Thanks. Fraiser: Cassie wants to see ya. Fraiser: Wow, this guy should be dead. It's amazing, he seems to be healing really well and fast! Jolinar: Hey. Cassandra: Hiyaaarrrrrrrggggghhhhhh!! Goa'uld! Fraiser: Jack, can you talk to Cassie, she won't talk to me. O'Neill: Well, you're her mum, what else were you expecting? O'Neill: Hey, Cass, what's up? Cassandra: Jolinar wants me dead. O'Neill: Eh? Huh? Cassandra: The Goa'uld in Sam. O'Neill: bummer. This is what I get when I don't object to her giving mouth-to-mouth to complete strangers. Jolinar: Where's Jack, we got a mission and I wanna leave. O'Neill: Hate this place that much? Jolinar: Good, we can go. O'Neill: Better plan, I'll inject you with a ton of sedative. Jolinar: I'm a Goa'uld, it won't have any affect on m... O'Neill: [to unconscious Jolinar] You were saying... Hammond: Okay, we messed up. Now make sure we weren't stupid and allowed more through. Fraiser: It's nowhere near the end of the ep. Something else must happen, but still I don't see the point in mentioning the guy that should be dead but by some minor miracle isn't. Jackson: And Sam? O'Neill: Book her in for a Goa'uld-ectomy. Jackson: Like last season with Kawalsky? I do believe he's still suffering from that small case of death after his Goa'uld-ectomy! [In the bandaged man's hospital room, a doctor enters.] Doctor: We'll take some bandages off (no mention of how fast he recovered, 'cos that is of no relevance at all!) cough sto... choking... m... cough... Teal'c: O'Neill, the script dictates that you must insult the Goa'uld. O'Neill: Hey, that has to be the most you've ever said! Teal'c: Indeed. O'Neill: Ha. We caught you. You suck! Jolinar: I'm ignoring you. O'Neill: [silence] This is no fun! Jackson: Hi, alien woman who we rescued, I'm Daniel. Talia: Hi. Jackson: You know this bloke? [shows piccy of Mickey Mouse.] Talia: Um, nope. Jackson: Now, this guy, you know him? Talia: Nope. Jackson: Okay and this bloke...[shows piccy of the man who had Jolinar in him.] Talia: Um, nope...Oh wait, yeah, he's my husband. Jackson: Well, he was a Goa'uld. Talia: Huh? Never noticed. [The bandaged up bloke has knocked the doctor unconscious.] Ashrak: Don't you ever talk about my mother like that again! [He as an ickle device, looks Goa'uld-ish.] Jolinar: Lemme go! Lemme go or I'll scream!!! I'll find another host and let Sam return, just lemme go!!! O'Neill: No! Jolinar: Sam will be fine. O'Neill: If I let you go now, the episode will come in short, sorry. Jolinar Using Carter's voice: I can drag the episode out with technobabble. [The Ashrak scans some bloke.] Sara B: Who would've guessed he had something to do with this ep? Jolinar: I am not Goa'uld, I'm Tok'ra. Teal'c: Just like the Unas, you're a myth. Jolinar: Am not! I am the Tok'ra Jolinar of Malkshur and I'll become a great source for flashbacks and references for the future. [Daniel walks in on the Ashrak dressed as a doctor. He's scanning someone with his device.] Jackson: It's alright, I didn't see anything, I was just wondering how Talia is? (Well, truthfully I'm filling in the scenes and giving a link for later) [Fraiser goes to the room the Ashrak was in before.] Fraiser: Doc?? ...are you playing the Mummy again, dressing up in bandages??? Teal'c: Jolinar claims to be a Tok'ra. O'Neill: Prove it. Jolinar: Can't. O'Neill: We now realise that the bloke covered in burns and bandaged up is a plot element. You know him? Jolinar: The Ashrak, he's gonna kill me. Teal'c: The missing bloke is an Ashrak... repeat what we discovered last scene... she says she's a Tok'ra...all this talking for me. :) Jackson: 'Resistance.' Jackson: Jolinar was playing hide and seek. Teal'c: Jolinar has lost. Hammond: So... O'Neill: He dies. Jackson: And we can't ID The Ashrak...So I suggest we keep Jolinar in a poorly guarded room. [The Ashrak leaves the hospital.] Jackson: Can you give me a description of the Ashrak? Jolinar: I'll know what he looks like only when he kills me. Jackson: You're cheerful aren't ya? Airman: Hey, who are you? Ashrak: I'm going to kill Jolinar. Will you take me to the SGC? Airman: 'Kay. Daniel: I believe Jolinar. Teal'c: As do I. O'Neill: As DON'T I! Hello! Goa'uld=bad! Hammond: The Nasyans are here. Asrak: I'll just waltz into the SGC without any problems with ID... Hammond: We think the Ashrak is here. Can we see the security camera in Sam's cell? Sara B: No, 'cos it's switched off. You better go down there. O'Neill: Teal'c, we should get down there. Ashrak: Hiya. Jolinar: Hi, long time no see. Ashrak: Sam and the guards are dead. O'Neill: Sam, Sam! Get a medical team down here right away; we can't kill of a main character!!! Fraiser: Medical babble. Jackson: So you're like the first alien woman who hasn't fallen desperately in love with me. Talia: Sorry about that, Bye. Fraiser and medics: Medical babble... both Sam and Jolinar are alive but dying. O'Neill: I must go with you, make sure Sam's okay even though Daniel's in trouble. Ashrak: Open the 'gate or I'll kill Daniel. Hammond: Ha! He's the one character you can kill over and over and he's still alive! Fraiser and medics: Medical babble building tension. Ashrak: I'll kill him type of talk, building tension. [Teal'c enters] [Zap! Zap!] Teal'c: Are you injured? Jackson: Well, duh! Medic2: Jolinar is dead. Fraiser and Medic1: Medical babble. Medic2: Sam's alive. [Carter opens her eyes.] O'Neill: You're alive!!! Carter: The Goa'uld saved me. Jackson: Hey Sam, You gonna talk to anyone? [He leaves. Corridor with everyone.] Jackson: She's still on that sponsored silence. O'Neill: Cassie, you go talk to her to make the ending nice and soppy. Cassandra: Sam, you okay? [Carter holds up card that says "By next ep all will be forgotten...except the memories!"] THE END Legal notices. You are number ### to get blasted by an Ashrak hand weapon thingie.